We need to talk. Sort things out.

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

I'm a different person now than I was about a year ago. Might have been a bit paranoid to think that you were trying to hurt me, even at times you actually really did hurt me, and badly.

I'm on better meds now, and I get less of the ol' voices in my head. That doesn't mean you can make fun of me all the time though. Doesn't mean I have any right to diss you either.

It's one of those things that really bugs me, it's bugged me over the past year, and I want to make amends properly so I'm not hated anymore, and so I don't have to hate or fear you anymore.

I'm dedicating my book I'm working on, which is about internet trolls (which is completely unrelated to our situation, it's more a universal statement of the futility of flame wars than a revenge book, unless you are a redneck who lives in Missouri I can't really say the person who flames the protagonist is anything like you, and I can't say I'm a half-German half-Japanese Australian born dude with war criminals on both sides of his family either). Think of it as a sort of penance for what I did, but keep in mind I didn't like myself when I was all manic and that.

I still don't know why this all had to happen, and maybe neither of us will ever understand why. I don't want so much an apology as forgiveness. So that this shit never goes down again.

When you say you are dedicating your book, did you mean to say you are dedicating it to me?

Good to see you're doing better Jake. Now don't take it all personnel, but I will always tease you and make fun of you. How you handle it will be a factor in how people here welcome you. You are not the most hated her by far. There are some people I won't even tease because they suck so much.

I know why this happened, you probably won't until you become old and bitter and fat and lonely. You're half way there!

ZING!


Tadao

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

I wish I could go to Comic-Con. In case you guys don't know me, you probably already do, and if you do, I'm so sorry for anything I did to upset you. I live in Australia so we have Supernova instead of Comic-Con, and I haven't been to a Supernova or even SMASH anime fair in years because those things are always on when I've had to study.

Protoclown and you guys are always awesome, but sometimes I'm bewildered when I'm unfamiliar with 1980s franchises like Masters of the Universe and G.I. Joe. Not that those things aren't bad, I just feel... unfamiliar with them, since I never even saw G.I. Joe to this very day. In Australia it's different to America because we're so isolated from the rest of the world here, and we don't get access to limited edition toys and collectables as easy. Call it tyranny of distance if you will.

I don't want what I've done in the past cast a bad light on the person I am now, and even if I was treated badly on the forums here I want to make things right and keep enjoying I-Mockery for what it is, a fun site most of the time. It's just that back in the day, for me, it wasn't so fun.

Maybe I'm just depressed because a lot of things have gone badly for me this year, but a lot of good things have happened too. I hope to see another good I-Mockery Comic Con coverage next year from you guys...

Jake, those people in what I call the front forums probably have no idea what you are talking about. Most of them never make it into this side of the forums. So your post in the "I-Mockery's Big 2009 San Diego Comic-Con Photo Album!"is just confusing a weird. You should edit it so that people over there don't think you are a mumbling wimpy freak. Plus RoG hates drama over there.

[JakeOfAllTrades]

At least you understand. It's like a big relief to get this big weight off me. When I say I'm dedicating my book to you, I mean it. If none of this ever went down I never would have come up with the idea of a book about a (completely unrelated) flame war resulting in dire consequences/messed up ghost story in the first place. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but I have sent part of it to a publisher, and they liked it, but they say it needs crafting. That's fair enough, at this age I'm still very young and very, very stupid.

The book is called Trollslayer, and it's about a half-German, half-Japanese Australian born named Ichi Tanizaki who has two war criminals for great grandfathers. As a result there's a curse that kills off internet trolls, but you'll have to read it to find out. Many of the references in the book aren't just towards Japanese culture, but towards Australian culture. So I'm going to put endnotes in to explain the Aussie references.

[captain516]

I was just about to make this thread.

[Tadao]

That's cheesy Jake, but at least it's got some originality to it. Glad to see you're not focused on one culture. The world is bigger than Japan.

[darkvare]

so is a book about the internets being a serious bussines

[JakeOfAllTrades]

Originally Posted by Tadao

That's cheesy Jake, but at least it's got some originality to it. Glad to see you're not focused on one culture. The world is bigger than Japan.

You are so very right. In one part of the book the protagonist's German father teaches him some German swear words to shout angrily at people, just to mess with people's heads (he looks full Japanese so people assume the main character is just some Asian dude, so he comes to his German father for advice, and he gets what he asks for. That and there's nothing funnier than hipsters being put in their culturally close-minded place).

[JakeOfAllTrades]

The book also critiques how Australians are seen online due to some very stupid political policies which prevent Australians from getting true broadband internet, as well as a proposed Internet filtering system which will be mandatory for all ISPs here if passed. From experience, sometimes Americans kick Australians from online game servers for causing lag in the game, due to the Australians not having good internet connections.

And yes, because it is more than just about Japan, a lot of world cultures get skewered in it. Particularly how Americans and Australians see each other online. Because both of us can call each other yanks and drongos for hours without realising both nations are trolling each other.

[MetalMilitia]

What the fuck?

How can someone to be completely detached from reality to think:

1. They need to come to a forum and apologise for... something that supposedly happened a year ago involving a ghost.

2. They need to write a book about internet trolls (fun-fact: no one wants to read a book about internet trolls).

3. Japanese war criminals killing internet trolls by way of a curse??????

Jake get the fuck off the internet for the sake of us all. I'm not saying that to be mean - I'm trying to give you real advice on how to improve your life.

Just get rid of your computer and go outside. Join a club or something. Do some voluntary work - just get the fuck off the internet and talk to some real people before it's too late.

[JakeOfAllTrades]

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia

What the fuck?

How can someone to be completely detached from reality to think:

1. They need to come to a forum and apologise for... something that supposedly happened a year ago involving a ghost.

2. They need to write a book about internet trolls (fun-fact: no one wants to read a book about internet trolls).

3. Japanese war criminals killing internet trolls by way of a curse??????

Jake get the fuck off the internet for the sake of us all. I'm not saying that to be mean - I'm trying to give you real advice on how to improve your life.

Just get rid of your computer and go outside. Join a club or something. Do some voluntary work - just get the fuck off the internet and talk to some real people before it's too late.

Stop muddling my words man, but I won't bother defending myself to you since you clearly won't listen. I try to make amends to you guys, and I should have expected some people wouldn't have been as welcoming as I had hoped. Well, the best I can hope for is, at the moment, graduating and going to University. There's sure to be some real people there.

[darkvare]

metal don't be grumpy and let the man write his book

[Tadao]

Yeah MM, stop being a cunt.

[MetalMilitia]

I'm not trying to have a go at you Jake, but this is beyond ridiculous.

No one hates you, they just think you're fucking weird for coming here and telling us how you were in a relationship with an imaginary girl you met in a book shop. As such you can't make amends to anyone you can just appear to be slightly more or less of a twat depending on what you post next.

Ultimately you're always going to be remembered as Jake 1.0 - the neurotic level 10 word-smith that posted some hilariously misguided topics on life, love and relationships.

I'm not saying you need to be Jake 1.0 forever, you can go off and have a real life where this stuff doesn't mean anything but coming back here isn't going to make you fell any better about yourself or improve your life in an way.

[RaNkeri]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

half-German half-Japanese Australian born dude with war criminals on both sides of his family

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

the protagonist's German father teaches him some German swear words to shout angrily at people, just to mess with people's heads

I can see where this is going. Pure gold.

[Dixie]

Sooooooooooo, when's the wedding?

[Dixie]

[ZeldaQueen]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

The book is called Trollslayer, and it's about a half-German, half-Japanese Australian born named Ichi Tanizaki who has two war criminals for great grandfathers. As a result there's a curse that kills off internet trolls, but you'll have to read it to find out. Many of the references in the book aren't just towards Japanese culture, but towards Australian culture. So I'm going to put endnotes in to explain the Aussie references.

Sounds like there should be some fantasy RPG in there also.

Best of luck on your book though! Be sure to tell us if you get it published.

1. They need to come to a forum and apologise for... something that supposedly happened a year ago involving a ghost.

Wait, what happened in this flame war?

[Misdemonar]

GUYS IM SORRY THAT YOU HATE ME

[Tadao]

OH MAN JAKE! ZQ is the perfect match for you!

[Kitsa]

Actually, I don't know that I'd do that to ZQ. But I see a possible friendship

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen

Wait, what happened in this flame war?

ZQ, just do a search on JakeOfAllTrades about 12-18 months ago, and be prepared with a hefty bottle of Scotch or Irish Whiskey.

Yes, it's that good.

[Zhukov]

Hey Jake, can I dedicate my book to you? It's called 'Listen to Metal Militia'.

[ZeldaQueen]

Sounds good!

Oh and hey Jake! If you want really good internet arguments, I can direct you to some of the more ridiculous ones I've seen on the Museum of Hoaxes board. Those mainly start out with people claiming Lifewave Patches work or that Illuminati plots are underway and end with the OPs cussing out the regular board members for using logic.

[Zhukov]

Hey Jake, I'll be in Sydney in 4 weeks, which bookshop was it? I would like to visit it.

If there are any other good shops etc that are worth visiting, let me know. Not really into anime but most other nerd-like things are good. Cheers.

[ZeldaQueen]

I think I found it. Was this about the Japanese girl in the bookstore?