All this talk about red pickles got me thinking. Also it got me googling "red pickle". Some of the results didn't look photoshopped, and that's how I learned that there are really red pickles and they're really popular in the South right now.
I guess the pickles are re-pickled in Kool Aid, so you could make about any color you wanted, but the red ones are the popular ones. I sorted through a few recipes and decided to go for the easiest recipe that's supposed to yield the most intense flavor. You know, because I'm not a pansy.
And you're coming with me.
STEP 1: Prep.
One jar of pickles, one packet of cherry kool-aid, one mixing container. Check.
STEP 2: Pour pickle juice from jar into measuring container.
STEP 3: Dump kool-aid packet into pickle juice; mix.
You know, I thought the smell would be horrible, but it was not at all objectionable. The cherry smell kind of blended in.
STEP 4: Dump cherry pickle juice back into jar.
I removed a couple of pickles to make sure they all soaked evenly. The pickles I saw online were a really vivid red, and I want that. There's so much food coloring in Kool Aid that it shouldn't take long.
STEP 5: Reseal and put in the back of your fridge for 2 weeks.
Done. With a big note advising any scavengers to leave them the hell alone.
Now we wait.