My Secret Santa was revealed to be MLE.
Hence,
I will tell you of the things I received and what I did with them.
I received a Slinky Jr.
I hung it from my ceiling.
I also received some clip-on earrings.
![](http://www.coeternalism.com/mockmas07/12.jpg)
Apparently, MLE thought that I wouldn't wear real ones.
I did not put them on. I made love to them, instead.
(Photo not online)
I also received a candle scented of watermelon.
![](http://www.coeternalism.com/mockmas07/9.jpg)
Apparently, MLE got me confused with Seven Force.
I have yet to burn the candle. I have, however, made love to it.
(Photo not online)
I also received a metal box.
![](http://www.coeternalism.com/mockmas07/11.jpg)
I haven't really done anything to this yet. If you have any suggestions for how I might be able to make love to it, please let me know.
I also received a card in commemoration of my sixth birthday.
![](http://www.coeternalism.com/mockmas07/6.jpg)
I used the cardboard edges to cut myself, eliciting a faint erotic sensation.
I also received a coloring book replete with pencils with which I might color within it.
![](http://www.coeternalism.com/mockmas07/2.jpg)
As I have not the talent to draw within lines, I opted to color genitalia in it.
Le coup de grace, however, was a Rubik's Cube.
![](http://www.coeternalism.com/mockmas07/1.jpg)
After a painful attempt to make love to it, I opted instead to solve its riddles.
For more on this, see the following website hosted by YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2MMlKzisEA
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Aaaaaaaaaanyways, thank you for the rather wonderful Christmas medley, MLE. I enjoyed the experience!