Dec 4th, 2003, 11:41 AM
DMT
These are from Dr. Shulgin's book. His own experiences. Each quote is from a different doseage and methos of intake.
All the trips last from 5 to 15 min max, but can and often do feel like hours, days, years even centuries.
"I began to see patterns on the wall that were continuously moving. They were transparent, and were not colored. After a short period these patterns became the heads of animals, a fox, a snake, a dragon. Then kaleidoscopic images appeared to me in my inner eye, fantastically beautiful and colored."
"I don't like this feeling -- I am not myself. I saw such strange dreams a while ago. Strange creatures, dwarfs or something; they were black and moved about. Now I feel as if I am not alive. My left hand is numb. As if my heart would not beat, as if I had no body, no nothing. All I feel are my left hand and stomach. I don't like to be without thoughts."
"We did it together. Swift entry -- head overwhelmed -- elaborate and exotic. Slightly threatening patterns -- no insight -- slight sense of cruelty and sharpness between us, but enjoying. His face, as before with MDA, demonic but pleasantly so. He said he saw my face as a mask. He asked me to let him see my teeth. I laughed -- aware that laughter slightly not-funny. Heavy, massive intoxication. Time extension extraordinary. What seemed like 2 hrs was about 30 minutes."
"As I exhaled I became terribly afraid, my heart very rapid and strong, palms sweating. A terrible sense of dread and doom filled me -- I knew what was happening, I knew I couldn't stop it, but it was so devastating; I was being destroyed -- all that was familiar, all reference points, all identity -- all viciously shattered in a few seconds. I couldn't even mourn the loss -- there was no one left to do the mourning. Up, up, out, out, eyes closed, I am at the speed of light, expanding, expanding, expanding, faster and faster until I have become so large that I no longer exist -- my speed is so great that everything has come to a stop -- here I gaze upon the entire universe."
These next ones all come from trip reports.
"So for what seemed like centuries I played with the trippy freaky elves and they kept bringing me into atrium after atrium in the antics annex, and all I could do was wonder when we would get to their front door. As far as I know, we never did. Instead they said many things, though I can't say they used what we would call a voice to accomplish this communication. I remember only parts of this. At first they said, 'Build this', indicating hyperspace. Later they amended this by saying, 'Build it. He will come.' from the movie Field of Dreams. Very funny. "
"There were two people a man and a women or a girl and a boy. They appeared to me like simple balloon computer generated images. As soon as I stepped in the room, they glided up to me and spoke directly to me. They kept saying welcome back and words like: the big winner, he has returned, welcome to the end and the beginning, you are The One! As I looked around the room I felt the sense of some huge celebration upon my entry to this place. Bells were ringing, lights flashing fear began to rise in me as I felt the deep change in my world. The sprites begin to lead me around the room showing me how all my life they had been preparing me for this return. I was shown dozen of experiences simultaneously in my life, that had lead up to and been clues to this moment. I was shown in a flood and a onslaught of images, thoughts, situations, raw feelings that everything had been building to this moment. That this moment had been planned. "
"It moved in rhythmic spasms like some demonic toy; and always there was its voice - a steely, shrill monotony that put an end to hope.... The chilling thing was that I knew what it was saying! It told me that I was a wretched, pulpy, flaccid thing; a squishy-squashy worm. I was a thing of soft entrails and slimy fluids and was abhorrent to the calcified God. "
"Twisting, churning; the world burst into multi-colored energy balls and entities. They formed a ball of blue stonish grey, and grabbed at me but as friends, as the same as me. Eventually they slipped away, and I was left with a new type of creature, that had a mostly black face but with colorful features. I felt pokes and tugs but it was not at all bad; they seemed as if they were me, and I knew the goodness of everything; goodness was this space. The music was happy music, and enhanced the experience dramatically."
"Looked into his eyes.
Sitting regally there like a warlock - like a tall thin longhaired Buddha - between the window of the room and me, He was the Window and the Window was equal to itself. A removed part of the wall, to let the light shine through. Colours of RED and BLUE were all over the room. He had on a red shirt and blue pants but the red and blue were coming from somewhere else, they were from him and not his clothes.
On the checkerboarded bed, which had now become full of chess pieces from another world that moved in very non-euclidean ways, which were used to play entirely different games...he was balanced there, in a lotus-like pose, a triangular shape with every surface of his face and arms and body a triangle-shaped plate, and each plate hinged to the others in perfect angular construction...
And he was laughing.
Laughing the laughter only laughed by someone sharing Something Special with someone else that has never known that 'special', and I heard it low, deep, and full of Trickster-Hero, and himself.
And I could feel the transmitted sense of power from him. Not aimed at me, Aimed FROM me, or bounced off of me, in a sense, to the rest of the world...coming from a source behind him. Or something to that effect. Some aura-field that was transmitted in the course of normal thinking, but that was in this state very visible.
Thus it was that a huge - an ENORMOUS - chunk of my peculiar sexual nature was defined. That day, In that room, in that collection of seconds which were also miles down which I was walking, running, falling, helplessly sliding, sucked to it and to him or rather to my own perception of him...drawn forever and ever forevermore to what *A* represented to me:
POWER.
Beyond the good and evil, and beyond love or hate, always power: it is the deciding factor of every occurrence. The one who has power gains more and more. The one who loses power keeps less and less.
And yet, one can have power and then lose it, or have no power and come to gain it. The secret of power was in those eyes, that laugh, the tsunami wave of hair falling down his shoulders: I could hear it falling liquid-like and yet hard as wire, soft as thought.
The secret of his power at that moment was his detachment from the one who was watching him. It was not the sort of uncaring which is also unfeeling and thus cold. It was the sort of uncaring which elevates one who is detached to a higher level than attained by one who would Be Concerned With People Liking You. Sexually or otherwise...or both.
That detachment seems to be one of the most sexually attractive qualities one can have, no matter how ugly or beautiful the physical appearance. Desire, and you become undesired. A paradox: like 'Those who know don't tell, those who tell don't know.' For an empty second I knew of a rage in me at this paradoxical catch-22 that I dared not acknowledge. "
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