Shitty Movie Review Spotlights

[James]

I figured this would help me with my anger issues.

There are a ton of movie reviews on this site. And many of those are overlooked by the visitors. More importantly, there are many that are pure shit, and nobody really knows it.

So from now on, I'm going to post on on here, and then kindly rip it to shreds. It's only fair, seeing as how they're subjecting us to this crap.

Movie: "X-men"
Year: 200x
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Action / Adventure
Director: Bryan Singer
Writer: Tome DeSanto
Reviewer: Shane Skekel (Skekel@hotmail.com)

Plot: The movie starts off during World War II when those Nazis send some of their proscibed to the gas chamber, one 17-year old boy, which happened to be Magneto was spared. Now fast forward to present day. A teenager who turned out to be Rogue was making out until her mutation took effect during that time. I won't tell you the rest.

Review: All right, this movie is an instant winner despite some inconsistancies. The acting is excellent, especially when it came down to the main chars. themselves. The special effects are also spectacular, and make Star Wars look cheap. The story and diologue are well done for a movie based on this classic comic book. I'd would recommend this over Ghost In the Shell 1 or 2, because this is much easier to understand than those animes. The soundtrack has a serious atmosphere to it, the way it should be for any installment of X-Men.

If you want a great movie without all those plot holes, then this is it. If you hate movies based on comic books, then fine. However, you are missing out on a spectacular flick that is true to the series. Therefore, you should get this movie now while you still can. I'll give X-men a nine out of ten. Now get the movie or be a tight ass!

Overall Rating: 9



Wasn't that just the best?

Now, the guy couldn't bother to find out what year this movie came out (hint: 2000, genius), so he used an X. This isn't a MegaMan game, buddy. If you're going to do a review, get as many facts right as possible. Speaking of which, I can let the Tom DeSanto thing slide , as he and Bryan Singer wrote the story. But David Hayter wrote the actual screenplay.

Moving on, I think Shane here needs to learn what a plot is. Recounting the first 10 minutes of the movie is not a plot (or a plot overview, as should be the case for these reviews). This could have just been a very poor first paragraph for his review. But if he had done that, then he would have had 3 paragraphs, and the guidelines say that you need only 2 at least. And I think we all know that Shane "bare minimum" Skekel needed the extra 5-10 minutes that could be spent on writing another 1 or 2 paragraphs to come up with that WONDERFUL last sentence.

And aside from the fact that both of them have comics, Ghost in the Shell has no reason to even be mentioned in this review. He could have said "I'd would recommend this over The Care Bears Movie, because this is much easier to understand ," and it would have more relevance to the review.

In the end, I give Shane and his little review a -6. It's short, and the writing could be better, and he has no idea what the fuck a plot outline is. But it could be worse. And you'll see that as I uncover more of these godawful submissions.