HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU PUNY LITTLE BASTARD. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YA, OBVIOUSLY, BUT COME BY ANY TIME AND I'LL WHIP YOUR SUPPLE LITTLE GIRL BODY INTO A SHAPE
It's Bastille Day! Bastille Day is good because you can go get supercheap fireworks (as long as you don't tell the staunchly Mercan vendor that you're one of the evil Frenchies). A couple of years ago I held big barbecues in my backyard, but the Great Property Value Equalizers on either side of me have changed that scenario somewhat.
I was making a Bastille Day cake, and was in the middle of some very intricate work involving black decorator gel and a stylized sketch of the Tour Eiffel, when the fucking tube decided to splat out a big, oily bubble of watery gel in the middle of it. Completely ruined everything, and my attempt to scrape off the gel failed because the icing was a sticky type and held onto it. My cake now looks like a waterlogged bar code.
Why would you have the Eiffel Tower on a Bastille day cake? It wasn't built until, like, a hundred years after the fact. And did you seriously just write it the french way? Arrogant.
Why arrogance? You threatened by it or something? I can say Tour Eiffel by the same virtue that I can phlegm up the word Chanukah if I want to (but don't) --origin of the Kitsa.
Besides it being just a generic French symbol these days, very much like the Statue of Liberty is for the US ( a gift from France, thanks, and co-designed by Eiffel), and Bastille Day having become a catchall French holiday, who the hell gives a fuck what I put on my cake? I could put a tap-dancing penis in a beret on the thing and still be fully within my rights.