LET'S ARGUE ABOUT VIDEO GAMES

[Emu]

I am trying desperately to love my Dreamcast but it is making it really fucking difficult

I can't understand the boner people have for this system. It's got some gems on it to be certain, but the very system itself seems hellbent on making these games as unenjoyable as possible. Shenmue, somehow, is genuinely interesting enough to keep me playing a while even if what I'm doing is just running around in a completely haphazard manner asking people about sailors in bars, but Jesus fuck my thumb feels like it's been stabbed with a thousand tiny needles after I'm finished playing. The d-pad is just abrasive for some damn reason. Same goes for Marvel vs. Capcom 1.

Of course, on the games that DO use the stick, the controller is so ridiculously large that I have to keep my thumb outstretched to move around. And I have big hands.

[Sam]

Maybe you should get some kind of thumb protector.

PUSSY.

[Guitar Woman]

Has anyone else noticed that Zero Punctuation is funnier if you turn the sound off?

[Emu]

nope

[wobzire]

Yeah, that guys hilarious.

[Guitar Woman]

Mostly it's when it's one you haven't seen yet

[wobzire]

I'm going to try that next time. I'll let you know.

[Guitar Woman]

I also think Yahtzee's way, way funnier in his site's articles than in his video reviews.

SILENT HILL SHOWDOWN is probably my favorite :<

[Guitar Woman]

Yahtzee seems to be trying harder and harder to piss off the people who watch his videos for legitimate opinions on games, now.

Mario Sunshine could be more enjoyable than 64 at a stretch, I guess, but how the hell does anyone think Twilight Princess is better than anything, Ocarina most profoundly?

That game is horrible. More than that, it's not even horrible in a ridiculous sense, it's just incredibly mediocre in everything but how pretty it looks when it isn't blinding me with criminal overuse of bloom effects.

Mabye it's just me and my firm belief that good games can't age beyond playability.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman

Yahtzee seems to be trying harder and harder to piss off the people who watch his videos for legitimate opinions on games, now.

Mario Sunshine could be more enjoyable than 64 at a stretch, I guess, but how the hell does anyone think Twilight Princess is better than anything, Ocarina most profoundly?

That game is horrible. More than that, it's not even horrible in a ridiculous sense, it's just incredibly mediocre in everything but how pretty it looks when it isn't blinding me with criminal overuse of bloom effects.

Mabye it's just me and my firm belief that good games can't age beyond playability.

Eh. I can see how he liked Sunshine more than SM64. I know a lot of people like to bash on the ridiculous water pack thing, but I enjoyed it. I wish the town had more to explore: Peach's Castle was loaded with cool shit. The town was cool to leap around, and I totally looked for crazy parkour-esque stunts to pull off, but I wanted more from the hub. The level design was pretty fucking awesome, though. I loved the harbor and carnival stages.

Twilight Princess, in my opinion, is only "mediocre" because it doesn't do anything new. Imaginary scenario: if it came out at the same time as OoT, but TP had N64 graphics (but kept its gameplay, controls, etc.), which do you think would be more appealing? TP has more sophisticated controls all around, and since the dungeons and bosses are all copy-pasted from other Zeldas. If you play the newer game first, you'll probably enjoy the original less than if it were the other way around.

Personally, my favorite Zeldas are A Link to the Past and Majora's Mask. Link's Awakening and Winder Waker were fun too.

Oh fuck it, I love them all like the shameless fanboy I am.

TL;DR: you're allowed to like whatever you want <3

[wobzire]

He doesn't rate games he just insults them. It's his thing.

[Guitar Woman]

He's a little harsher than necessary, but I generally find myself agreeing with him about a lot of stuff.

Like how having enemies that explode when they die is "the most erect of dick moves."

Or how he finds fighting games frustrating because even after learning all the game's most intricate secrets, combos, and battle strategies, you can still be beaten by some retard mashing buttons on his controller.

Yahtzee has also never steered me wrong when actually reccomending good games. I'm seriously considering going out and paying for a legit copy of Condemned after pirating it. It's absolutely worth monies, which is something I don't say often about games.

[Emu]

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman

Or how he finds fighting games frustrating because even after learning all the game's most intricate secrets, combos, and battle strategies, you can still be beaten by some retard mashing buttons on his controller.

You ever seen Kung Fu Panda? That's how I describe that movie.

[Guitar Woman]

lol

[Guitar Woman]

I also love how Mario didn't take fall damage in Sunshine if you dove off cliffs. I spent a shit ton of time in the main area reenacting the opening scene of the Escaflowne movie. That's also how I beat the retarded firey goo stage; I'd just climb up on a big tree and dive to the center of the map.

There need to be more games that implement falling huge distances for some reason and not getting hurt. It looks cool. :<

[Phoenix Gamma]

I second that. Ever since games were 3D, we've had this stupid "die from falling too far" shit. If I wanted realism, I'd go outside

[wobzire]

Or they should go ultra realistic and have your ankles snap.

[Phoenix Gamma]

I would not play a game that physically punished me for sucking :V

Then again, games are so piss-easy these days that it wouldn't matter.

[Guitar Woman]

[wobzire]

I meant it would break your avatars' ankles. And you would have to drag yourself around by your hands on screen AND IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA FORGET IT!

[Guitar Woman]

That was a stupid, bad, terrible, awful, horrible idea in Deus Ex, and if it's ever used in any game ever again I will hunt down the dev team and murder them.

Do you know how FUCKING long it takes to complete a level with NO LEGS?

If the game had an autosave function, bullshit like that wouldn't be nearly as grating, but when that happened I realized that the last time I'd saved my game had been two hours ago. It's ridiculous that I have to remember to save every 2 minutes because the game loves arbitrarily killing or crippling me when I least expect it; what's more, whenever I get really immersed in the experience, I completely forget that I'm supposed to be recording my progress with the regularity of someone on an all-fiber diet. Any game as involving as Deus Ex needs to record progress on its own, since the player can and will forget to do so.

Christing fuck.

[Dr. Boogie]

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman

Deus Ex rant

You open your inventory and use a medkit on your legs.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Eh. You could take MGS3's injury system and make it so that specific actions were hard/impossible to do with certain injuries. Like if your hands were burned from something, and oh fuck me there's a ladder I need to climb. Then you build the level so that the player has to take a longer way around or something.

But you know what? Beating a level without legs is easy. Rayman does it all the time.

[bigtimecow]

fuck you pg

[Guitar Woman]

I'm pretty sure only medbots can restore dead limbs.

That would make more sense, I think.