The Official confession thread

[Father §p@z]

Yes, confession. As in confessing your sins. You know, that thing you NEVER do? Yeah. Well, this thread is meant for that. I will pray for forgivness from god to you, and offer my humble opinion, no matter if you're sin is real or fake.

[Jixby Phillips]

I must confess you are a cunt.

[Father §p@z]

I thought someone might say that.

[Jixby Phillips]

why dont you make a confession about it

[McMock]

Oh, I see what you're doing. You're being a priest... hadn't picked up on that yet.

I have a whole lot of pent up shit in my body right now. I'm not even sure what it is, but I feel my shoulders are as tense as they can be. It's like a tickling, shivering sensation. I know that I could break a whole lot of boundaries I don't want to break right now, if I were to do something.

I must try not to get angry, because I'm so numb, emotionally, that I'd not notice I'm hurting people until I'd done substantial damage.

Can you ask Jesus for a bless or a cure minor wounds please?
k thx bye.

[Father §p@z]

Sure thing.
And yes, my online theme is a priest. I'm seriously training to become one too. After college, It's a few boring years of grad school, then I have to be ordained by the bishop and all that. Snorefest. That's annother reason I post on message boards.

[McMock]

I'm from Europe. Religion is dead, buried, has been dug up, has been pissed on, dug back up, shat on, has been turned into a zombie, has been sent back in time and has been made to chew baby jesus brains out in a cold, lonely bethlehem night over here.

As such, I have a certain... I don't know... difficulty understanding places where religion is prevalent. This is the premise. I don't mean anything by this - only to sketch where I'm coming from.

Now, being from where I'm coming from, I have a bit of trouble understanding why somebody would become a priest. I respect your choice, because it is a hard decision to make. To me, this is as incomprehensible as somebody wanting to become a kamikaze pilot, though. What is it that has made you decide you want to be a priest?

[Father §p@z]

I don't know really. My mom is a jesus freak, so I was at church a lot when I was a kid. I knew the priest there, and he was so cool, or at least it seemed that way. Anyway, I thought "I want to be just like him when I grow up" and here I am. Hmm... Mabye I should think this over... Nah, I'm too lazy. Besides, it would make my mom happy

Oh and I'm NOT a momma's boy if anyone was thinking that

[McMock]

Well, I actually would advise you to think this through. And not because I think you should change your mind, but because I think if you're going to be a priest, you need to have thought it through very well.

A priest without a calling, well... I don't think that even works. So think it through, and make sure that you know whether or not you want it. But whatever you do, make sure you're 100% dedicated.

Ah, and here is a disclaimer: If you did not care about my opinion, you shouldn't have read the preceeding text.

[Father §p@z]

Well I KNOW that. And my calling is to help spread the word of god in these troubled times.

[Ftang Ftang Olay OLay]

will you be doing sports' funeral cause you wanna be a priest

[Father §p@z]

Who?

[Ftang Ftang Olay OLay]

your lucky u don't know him.

i burn witches is that bad???

[Father §p@z]

No, Burn the devil's pawns to you're hearts content!

[Ftang Ftang Olay OLay]

i will thnx and the feds can't do me for murder cause god says i can

[McMock]

Allright then.

If you believe in it, then that's all it takes. I have a more pragmatic approach to salvation, I'm afraid. I think people are born really good, and become more and more evil the longer they live on this planet. I don't think salvation is possible. You can't become a better person than you were before.

My sin is pride, conceitedness, and a sadistic tendency. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

[Father §p@z]

All is forgiven.

[Jixby Phillips]

*kills self*

*is dead*

[FS]

When a whole bunch of people with no pictures or broken links post, you really start to notice you don't care what they say.

[McMock]

I have a question, father. I don't really care much about the answer. I can definately live without it. But I'll just ask it anyway.

Is Life a quantifiable force?

If so, is it more of a sin to kill a big, fat person than it is to kill a dwarf? And if not, how come the general concensus is that killing a fly is far less of a sin, if at all, than to kill your neighbour?

Is there such a thing as five billion units of life left in a person? Is this life the soul? If so, does a fly also have a (really small) soul?

[Father §p@z]

Yes, and killing a midget or a fat guy is the same.

[dead_pigeon]

What if the midget is a satanic high priest or whatever and the fat guy is a missionary with glandular problems?

[Father §p@z]

If you're not gonna confess, then don't post here

[Burger Lord]

where I come from priests are hanged for their evil non-protestant voodo magic, then we flog them with rebel flags and bud light bottles to scare the devils away and purify the land from demon loving once more.

we do the same thing to minorities too...

[Father §p@z]

Thats a Georgia trailer park for ya!