I came back home, after a flight from Liberty City. Before I knew it, I was being arrested. What did I do? Oh yeah, the main character is black this time around. It was confusing though, because one of the officers was black too. He sounded a lot like Samuel L. Jackson. Maybe he's just mad because I can't remember any movie he was in except for Die Hard with a Vengence.
The cops threw me out into the middle of a bad neighborhood. Apparently, there are a lot of gangs who don't like me, but they like guns. I grabbed a bike, and started peddling around. I found myself being shot at by guys in purple clothes. I think their gang name is The Grimaces. Cops arrived on the scene, and killed them. One of the gang members dropped an uzi. Sure, it may be vital evidence that could be important in making sure the cops aren't found guilty of killing innocent people, but they should have thought of that before they threw me out of a moving vehicle. So now I have a gun. And a bike.
I think the game just called me fat.
Oh, wait. It turns out it was just a meter telling me I was losing weight. I also am getting really good at bunnyhopping, only by doing it once. Then I tried it again, and landed on top of a cop car. The cop was sad, and I was scared.
I'm starting to get hungry, so I found a .69 store, and bought two snacks for $1 each. False advertising sucks.
I also played an arcade game that's like a Galaga, except it's fun. I got the lowest high score, because I accidentally pressed the quit button.
The bike is hard to steer. I took someone out with the tail end, and got a 1-star warning. I grabbed their cash, and ran away. It's hard to find a place to lay low when you don't know the area. But I got away.
I decided to try out my uzi. I'm a good shot, considering there was 4 Grimaces and I was at point-blank range. They didn't have guns.
I hit a cop with my bike. He was sad, and I got a 1-star warning again. While trying to escape, I kept hitting people while trying NOT to hit people. Apparently, they jump out of the way, but I kept moving to the side of them. And I kept falling off my bike, which allowed me to pick up the cash from the bodies.
I'm getting better on my bike. I've built up some muscle, trimmed some fat, increased my stamina, and I can bunnyhop higher and reverse faster. Then I got blindsided by a car, which oddly built up some more muscle.
I finally went to my mom's house. She's dead. Some fat guy tried to hit me with a bat, but he took me to my mom's grave, where I met my brother again and some gang members. A rival gang tried to shoot us, so we had to grab bikes and make it back home.
Got back to the neighborhood. Went into my house, and found a camera. I'm going to take pictures of my penis and post them on the internet. That'll probably earn me some Respect.
I found a pistol behind a house. I decided to try it out and killed some hookers. Got another 1-star rating. Come on, guys. They're only hookers.
I rode my bike to a local bar, and found a guy wanting to play pool. It was a close game, but I lost $50 in the end. So I cracked the pool cue over his skull and made a profit of about $75. An interesting addition: swinging a pool cue at the table will knock the balls around. Nice touch.
MORE TO COME
Threaded Mode
