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MajorScales MajorScales is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 05:34 PM        Dick Face
A year ago I got a ticket downtown and this morning I went to court. I parked a mile away where I could find a meter and rode my bike. I got there on time and everyone got to talk to the judge until I was left alone in the court room with him and the other court workers. Fire alarm goes off and I put my head in my hands and he say's "take that persons young man's information" so I say "I really have to get back to work" and he say's "Don't worry we will take care of it"...and I left. So I guess I got off of the ticket and I'm heading home for my hour drive. I'm heading towards my local Catholic high school and some asian girl is walking slowly through a red light and I'm going slow and look to my right and see two young men on top of another young man. I turn my jeep around and head back and enter the plaza beside them. They get up off him and he's at least 20 feet away from me and the side of his face is all red, so I'm thinking he's been beaten. He turns to me and I can clearly now see they have taken a red and black marker and written all over his face and in big black letters it say's DICK with and arrow pointing to his mouth. I went back to work, finished my day and took the motor out of my motorcycle.

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Wiffles Wiffles is offline
mmm muffins
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 05:45 PM       
Nice inline four motor there. Im guessing its a pocket rocket since most cruisers are aircooled V twin
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MajorScales MajorScales is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 05:48 PM       
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Nice inline four motor there. Im guessing its a pocket rocket since most cruisers are aircooled V twin
83 GS550 I'm turning into a Cafe racer type bike
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Wiffles Wiffles is offline
mmm muffins
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 07:45 PM       
cool, show us when youre done with it. I always like machines, I think they have a soul or something ^.^
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Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 08:33 PM       
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Originally Posted by MajorScales View Post
I'm going slow and look to my right and see two young men on top of another young man. I turn my jeep around and head back and enter the plaza beside them. They get up off him and he's at least 20 feet away from me and the side of his face is all red, so I'm thinking he's been beaten. He turns to me and I can clearly now see they have taken a red and black marker and written all over his face and in big black letters it say's DICK with and arrow pointing to his mouth.
Here's the whole story, minus the unnecessary info.
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MajorScales MajorScales is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 08:55 PM       
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Here's the whole story, minus the unnecessary info.
I will hire you to be my editor when the time is right.
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The Leader The Leader is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 09:59 PM       
This is the best story I have ever read.
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MajorScales MajorScales is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 10:02 PM       
the original or edited version?
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The Leader The Leader is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 10:10 PM       
Original. Boogie don't know shit.
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MajorScales MajorScales is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 10:21 PM       
Boogie is an alright writer and I can understand a slight animosity towards my wordsmanship. I would like to battle Boogie in a wordy type story type scenario of some type someday if the weather is right and I'm somewhat liquored up and in the mood.
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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 10:38 PM       
Exposition is necessary.
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The Leader The Leader is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2009, 11:16 PM       
No no no, Boogie can write articles on here, but he clearly doesn't understand the finer points of story telling. I mean, your allegory for court corruption and authority figure's exploitation of those they should protect conjures so much more meaning when you find the boy brutalized by his fellow man. It helps the reader to identify your social commentary and on top of that it's beautiful.
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MajorScales MajorScales is offline
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Old Sep 13th, 2009, 04:59 PM       
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Originally Posted by The Leader View Post
No no no, Boogie can write articles on here, but he clearly doesn't understand the finer points of story telling. I mean, your allegory for court corruption and authority figure's exploitation of those they should protect conjures so much more meaning when you find the boy brutalized by his fellow man. It helps the reader to identify your social commentary and on top of that it's beautiful.
What would your take on this be? I wrote this a while back after seeing No Country for old men. Pub says my stuff is better read while intoxicated and I would like that you read it as though you are taking an audition for a part in a movie so take it slow and not as though you are reading a comic book.



Iceland 1988 a young man has been driving for hours to get from one frozen town to another. His car has broken down and he's walking, when a car stops to pick him up

Oddgier (the vehicle pulls up beside him with the window down)

Ogger do oogger?

Friormar

Obal do Obal oooken dobol bon fogal

Oddgier

Blocken du Engrish?

Friormar

Sure I speak English

Oddgier

I ran out of gas could you help me?


Friormar (pull out a Potato gun and shoots Oddgier in the head knocking him out and then drags him into an Icelandic field)

Oddgier (wakes up with his pants down around his ankles alone)

Obel du fuggle!!!!

Oddgier
makes his way to the road and another car pulls up but this time is a very beautiful young girl that offers him a ride to safety

Rakel

Raped?


Oddgier

Yes, I need a drink


Rakel

Yes, we will stop in my town of Rapendoutsider

Oddgier

I think I will walk

Rakel

Are you sure? you still need to walk through it

Oddgier
(takes out a knife and holds it to his neck)

Ippel offen to poppen

Rakel


you are going to kill yourself?

Oddgier


Poppen!!!


Rakel
(speeds up her car and smashes it head on into a telephone pole)

Oddgier
walks away from the crash but Rakel is killed...another car pulls up beside the bloody Oddgier, the car with Rakel explodes into flames

Sigbjorn


Heloo offen do smacken droppen trouse?


Oddgier


Ok


Oddgier is raped again and the movie ends
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The Leader The Leader is offline
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Old Sep 13th, 2009, 05:11 PM       
Obviously Oddgier represents the consumer in a consumerist society. The different people who offer him rides are the products which the consumer constantly purchases. The next is supposedly newer and better than the last and by buying them, or hopping in the car, the common man attempts to gain acceptance and happiness but they always end up in the same situation that they were in before, having neither.
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kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Sep 16th, 2009, 06:06 AM       
you would try to romanticize rape
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