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Lum Buf Lum Buf is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2003
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 04:27 AM        forest critters
Now i hate punctuation and its like 3:24 in the morning so forgive my spelling but heres my story.

anyway one day i was walking through a forest on my way home from school. i dont know why because i usually take the bus, but that doesnt fucking matter the point is i saw this damn little squirrel starin at me from up in the trees. i thoguht now thats the damndest thying! why would that little fucker be... well checkin me out? before i could say another word i felt i sharp pain penetrate my sphincter. what the fuck! i screamed holding my bruised anus. my ass hurt in a way only resembling that of a 4 year old being raped by a shetland pony. well i walked on looking up to see if my little stalker was still up in the trees, then i farted and felt something metalic and cold fall outr. i thought of shit i ate the goddamn spagetti-os without taking them out of the can again, but then i reached into my pants and pulled out the little metal object. it was a tranquilizer dart of course. i fainted.

when i woke up i was sitting in what seemed to be a restaraunt kitchen freezer. i shivered and realized i couldnbt feel my legs. i looked down and they were there but there was blood on my pants. before i had time to think a fat german biker came in grabbed me and sat me at a quaint little round table with a candle on it. i saw another man in green overalls bringing over a steaming soup dish. he set it down in front of me and told me to eat up. i took bite after bite of the delicious stew until i was all done. the two men were staring at me in disbelief, when suddenly the greenoverall man said, you just ate your entire penis. i looked down and saw that my dick was gone. only a bloody stub remained.
then i woke up next to the same squirrel. well thats about it.

what did that have to do with furry forest friends? well they suck ass. theyre all shitty, always getting mess on my tru8ck tires. if i was an animal i wouldnt be some shitty little shit destined for street-pizza-dom, i would be a badass truck drivin raccoon that smokes cigars and wheres a redneck trucker hat. id also have a sawed off shotgun and a chainsaw for an arm. (like ash from evil dead) yeah that would be soooo awesome.


thanks for reading my shit. as this forum implies this was a story created when i was EXTREMELY bored.
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SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2003
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 04:50 AM       
brilliant. But post the one about making bitches suck your dick, it is betta.
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