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  #26  
kgp4death kgp4death is offline
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Old Nov 8th, 2009, 07:09 PM       
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Originally Posted by george View Post
you understand
you might get the point of this story. you sir know how to live
Don't give a fuck about other people, do whatever you want and have a blast doing it.....sounds good, wish I lived like that. Wait that's what I do all the time.....sweet to be me.
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  #27  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Nov 8th, 2009, 07:11 PM       

see what talking about yourselves gets you? assholes.

ps this does not include this tragic story -- of which I am enthralled by
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  #28  
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 11:43 AM       
Raves, Tyler, and Bubba 2003ish to 2005ish

The end of this little tale begins with a fun little project that I had gotten involved with after I got fired from Amtrak. The job at Amtrak had been set up for me by a distant relative, and it was fucking sweet. I was a Service Attendant a position that is essentially a waiter/bartender on trains going all over the place. Of all the jobs I have had that I failed at, this was my favorite. There were multiple reasons that this job did not work out, but the number one reason (again) was Nancy hated it.

I wont go into great detail on the whole thing, but when your wife is supposed to pick you up after a twelve hour shift on the train and never shows, you got problems. When your kids stop making it to school because their piece of shit mother wont get up, or isnt even home to take them to school, you got problems. So I ended up missing an assignment and getting fired. I was sad, but life is what it is.

I ended up getting a job installing signs. This was a pretty fun gig, and the hours were pretty good. It didnt pay too great though, so I had to supplement my income. I took up doing light and sound with a friend of mine named Ronnie. Ronnie is a giant story himself. Ronnie has been running a recording studio since the late seventies, and has worked with giants in the local music scene, GO GO bands like EU and Rare Essence, Chuck Brown, and Little Benny and the Masters, and too many local rock bands to mention. We did shows all across the baltimore/washington area. In the course of our travels we made friends with a girl named Tyler, and she and Ronnie decided to start doing Raves.

Now, the best thing about doing a rave when you are part of the crew is that you are one of the few sober people there. I bounced trouble makers, helped people that took too much drugs, or got too hot. Nancy even bartended, it was a great time. I can probably say that this was prolly the happiest stretch of time in my adult life. Eventually the Rave scene started to cool off and our travelling show started going out of a defunct bar that we got leased to us for events. Tyler moved to Virginia Beach and had some adventures of epic proportions. There were a few good times, but the lack of money coming in and the amount of drugs being consumed (thank God I was sober at this point, or i would prolly have died) were making the whole thing pretty grim and sad.

One day it was raining. It had rained all night. It had rained all day before that, and the day before that. So on this particularly wet and rainy day the brilliant people that run the Community Service Program (those assholes you see picking up trash on the side of the road) decided to drag a bunch of people out to the side of the road in the fog to pick up trash. This trail of people was directly across a meadow that constitued the front yard of Ronnie's house. A dog that lived in the house next door to Ronnie had escaped the fenced yard an sauntered up to the road where the people were picking up trash.

This dog would eventually become the most beloved thing I have ever owned. I am not a big one to attach emotional attachment to animals. I pretty much consider them replaceable. Before anyone gets all up in arms about animal cruelty or anything, understand that I think you should be kind, and all that, but a dog is a dog, is a dog, or so I thought. I loved this animal as much as I have any person in the world. Bubba ended up being a lot of things, but he was my friend (hence the name).

So anyway, Bubba wandered up behing a man in the work gang. When this dude saw a giant Rottwiler approaching he freaked out and started to run. Towards the road, and in front of a dumptruck. The guy was run over and killed. Bubba had become a murder


ok...gotta go get cigarettes, and then i will work towards the end
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  #29  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 12:02 PM       
I dunno, kinda sounds like a Darwin Award winner to me.

Keep going, george, love the story. (even if you're not writing it for me!)
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  #30  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 12:23 PM       
"Bubba had become a murder" will be forever etched within my mind.
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  #31  
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 12:29 PM       
More to come? Yikes!
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  #32  
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 12:51 PM       
Continued...

Now I knew nothing of this little incident whent i arrived at Ronnies house later that day. Nancy an I had come to visit Ronnie so that she could get some weed and to pick up some equipment for a show later that night, and to bring Ronnie a Birthday present. Ronnie, Nancy, and I sat on the porch with a girl named Erin.

Erin is the definition of sugar. Beautiful isnt the right word for her. Her eyes kind of look funny (almost like if you put Mr. Potato Head's eyes on upside down), and her features are not perfect. When she smiles though her whole face lights up and is the kind of thing that will drive a guy crazy with want. Looking at her made you want to touch her, cause you are sure that she'll feel like silk. She was sweet in every way.

Erin was an old friend to me and Nancy. We had known her since she was thirteen. At this point she was twenty and had been in and out of our lives for years. Nancy and her had been travelling partners for years, going out to parties and clubs together, but they had a falling out involving Erin's babies daddy, a guy named Andrew.

The first time I met Andrew he was sleeping naked on my couch. I had just gotten home from work (an overnight shift) and was shocked to see him laying there butt ass naked. I went upstairs to find the kids locked in their room, and Nancy passed out drunk in our bed. She had wet the bed and would not wake up. I went back downstairs and woke Andrew up, and threw him out of my house. I fixed the kids breakfast, cleaned up the mess of an obvious party, and quit my job (i was an overnight manager for Target at the time). Andrew would eventually become a family friend, and still is, but both of us have been amused by our first meeting.

Erin had gotten Ronnie some Opium for his birthday. We all sat on his porch and smoked and I for one got very, very, very high. Ordinarily I would have said no, but I had never tried it before. It was intersting. Just as I was settling into the high, a giant Rottweiler comes bounding up and jumps as much as he can of himself into my lap, and starts licking my face. I was in love. If you have never been high and pet a well groomed dog, then you have been wasting your drugs. This dog was a beauty, and he was in love with me.

I went out in the rain and played fetch with him. We slopped around. We wrestled, we had a hell of a good time. I went back on the porch and Erin told us the whole story about the work gang. She told us how the Sheriff had come with a destrruction order for the dog, and how when the neighbor got home he was supposed to turn the dog over to the cops. I felt so bad for my new friend, but whats a brother going to do?

So, when time to go had come, i took the dog back to his house. I tried knocking on the door, but no one answered. I went around to the back and put him in the fenced in yard, said goodbye. The plan was to head home, get cleaned up, and meet Ronnie in an hour at his house. Instead i would not see Ronnie for a week. I walked over to my car and opened the door, and a giant Rottwieler zipped around me and into the backseat of my car. He refused to get out. We were really pressed for time cause we had to go pick the kids up from the bus stop, so we decided to bring the dog with us and return him when we got back.

Driving uo the road to my house, the road collapsed. The road collapsed and the car fell into a cornfield into mud as high as the door frames. We had to get out through the windows. I walked to the bus stop to get the kids, the dog came with me. We never made it out of the house that weekend. We were stuck, the road impassable. Me and the kids had fun playing with the new dog.

Monday came and we went to Ronnies place. While we were there his neighbor, a guy named Melving was there. Now for the record I knew melvin since I was a kid. I lived in the poor white part of town, he lived in the poor black and they were right next to each other. Aside from a few fights here and there MOST of us got along, but I knew Melvin was not a guy to fuck with. When we walked up to the porch I was about tell Melvin I had his dog, when I heard him say, "If I find out who took my fucking dog, I am going to kill them." he then promptly turned and stomped off. Wether or not I wanted to I had adopted a new dog.

ok, i am going to have to stop myself on this part. I could go on for days about Bubba, and how much he meant to me. He was a Wanted Killer, a Stud, an Escape Artist, Protector, Cannibal, and on at least two occasions saved my life when i was so far in despair that i wanted to die.

gonna go eat and then i will hopefully get to the end of this.....
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  #33  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 02:16 PM       
this is definitely one for thread backups, but someone was right in that this would make a great book
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  #34  
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 02:29 PM       
Folk song
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 04:51 PM       
Call Bob Dylan.
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  #36  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 05:01 PM       
its that guys own fault for dying being he didn't know that rottweilers are the happiest sweetest dogs in the world.

he was racist and got what he deserved. lol maybe thats mean
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george george is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 05:18 PM       
April 2004 to June 2005

This is the home stretch, and we are getting to all the goodtime rainbow happiness.

I got fired from my job at the sign shop. For the first time ever Nancy had nothing to do with it. Did she yell at me al the way to work, everyday without fail? Did she forget to pick me up? Did she leave me to walk home from my partime (40 hrs a week) job at Wendys, while absolutely refusing to take care of the kids or work herself? yes, but the reason I got fired from my job at the sign shop was Racism.

I love racial humor. There is something to the stupidity of hating somone for how they look or cultural differences that amuses me. Maybe it is because I have no real family tree. My mother was an orphan and my father only had a mother that we ever knew. I could not take offense to any race jokes, and often wished I knew exactly what clan I belonged to so I can get indignant about racial slurs. Anyhow, jokes are jokes, actually hating someone for that kind of shit in real life is pure stupidity, and my boss at the sign shop hated everyone that wasnt lilly white.

After months of working for Craig, I was finally competent enough at my job to sell signs to people. I had gotten a customer to purchase roughly 20,000 in signs. She was a very classy black woman, and she had gotten rich and decided to put back into her community by building a sort of Cultural Center in a very bad neighborhood. I stood to make a 2000 dollar comission on the job, not too shabby.

Craig told me to double the cost of the job cause we would be working for ******s. His exact words. I did as I was told, and promptly lost the job.

Then I got another customer. I managed to get them to buy a rather nice sign (you would be suprised how much artistry goes into a business sign). I also found a sign box manufaturer that would build the box for it for half the price of the guy we usually got them from, and since my comission was on the PROFIT for any job I was pretty stoked.

The problem was that the new manufacturer was Chinese. Craig told me that the day he started doing business with Chinks is the day he would stop doing business.

I told him to go fuck himself and walked out.

When I got home the phone was ringing. Now this part is going to sound made up, but it is not. I picked it up and the girl on the other end asked for George (me bitches ). The girls name was Juliet and she was calling to offer me a job. A high paying government job. I had applied for this job well over a year ago, on a whim. I never actually thought I would get it. Juliet had dated my brother in high school, and had been detrmined to get ahold of me. She said she had been calling for days, and that this had been her last try and if I hadn't picked up she was going to have to call the next person on the list and offer the job to them.

serendipty. I told Nancy later that day. There was great joy in mudville. For about a week.
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  #38  
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 05:30 PM       
Where is the part where Nancy is in a port-a-john and gets hit by a wrecking ball and goes sailing into the knife factory?
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  #39  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 05:38 PM       
Are you dying?
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captain516 captain516 is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 05:47 PM       
I love racist jokes too! But it's good to know you didnt let your morals take a backseat to your job.

Last edited by captain516 : Nov 9th, 2009 at 06:10 PM. Reason: additional stuffs
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  #41  
stevetothepast stevetothepast is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 06:22 PM       
this is a good story.
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  #42  
george george is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 06:40 PM       
continued...

Now, I was pretty stoked about my new job. I had to go get a physical and do a Urine test because I was going to be making explosives and you had to be clean and in decent shape. I wasn't too worried though because it had been months since I had done anything (Ronnies Birthday) and I was pretty sure I would be fine.

I was wrong. I came up positive for Opium. I got called by the Lab, and was given the option of withdrawing my application or being banned from Federal service for life. I withdrew my application

I was jobless (aside from Wendy's) and broke, and things could not have been worse. Nancy went to work bartending, and for the first time in our marriage our roles were completely reversed. I started taking care of the kids all day, and they were happy. I took them to school, got them off the bus, cooked them dinner, and we watched a lot of cartoons together.

Nancy lorded my failure to get the job over me at every opportunity. Any time we didn't have enough money to do something for the kids, she would be sure to tell them that it was my fault. That i was a drug addict piece of shit. Remember all that time I was laid off and had a problem? Well Nancy made a point of telling anyone who would listen about it, and about what a huge asshole I was, and how she had to support us all because I was such a lazy fuck.

All the while she did nothing but go out and get drunk, and spend what money she made bartending on god knows what drugs. She had taken to passing out and peeing whatever she was sleeping on. Not a day went by that me and the kids did not find her passed out in her own urine. She got two DUI"S in the space of a week. Nancy was completely out of control.

Finally, I found a job. Overnights at Wal Mart. Stocking shelves. It was crap work, but it brought in money, and I was home during the day with the kids. It only antagonized Nancy. Seriously, I dont know how I survived this part of my life. You can not imagine how a concentrated effort by somone you love to make you feel like shit can hurt you. I now have the deepest sympathy for women who get beaten and dont leave. If you are caught in a cycle of abuse, you really do start to feel like you desrve it. You hate yourself so much that you NEVER think a good thing about yourself.

Erin started coming by the house during the day. She had a new BF named Larry and they would come by and my kids would play with Erin's daughter (Erin had no ther friends with kids and no where to stay with hers except home). I liked Erin and Larry, and when they were there it gave me a little bit of a break from Nancy's non stop bitching. Plus Erin and I were slowly becoming close friends. Even if people coming over slowed Nancy's bitching, it never really stopped, and Erin was pretty sympathetic even if we never talked about the whole thing.

Larry helped Nancy get a day job bartending at a bar he managed. I took over Nancy's day shift at the bar she worked at. It worked out nicely cause I could work at the American Legion and Walmart, and still had time to be there for the kids. I spent a lot of days with them and Erin. Her and her little girl became regulars around my house, which didnt bother Nancy when she had been home to chaparone. Now that she was not there though she had much different thoughts on the whole thing.

People get suspicious about the things they would do, not the things they think you are doing. I had it on pretty good authority that Nancy was cheating on me. I wont get into the whole thing, but I just decided to stop having sex with her and leave her to do whatever she liked. I just did not want to know. Just the same she started to imply that I was fucking Erin. The fact that there were four kids in the house with us at all times, and that I would not cheat on her meant nothing.

I will digress here for a moment to explain my viewpoint on cheating. I feel like loyalty is the greatest of all human commitments. If you love someone and have sworn to be on their side to the bitter end, that is what you fucking mean. It is what you stand for. It is not just when things are good. You stand in through thick and thin and until the war is won. That is how it is.

One night in 1994 my neighbor had a party. Nancy and I went to this party and had a really great time. Nancy and I had been fighting for a few months and had not had sex for about four months or so. Mostly cause she was having some medical problems with her gaul bladder (remember that surgery gone wrong? here is where it became my fault). She got scheduled for surgey, and it was about two weeks away.

The party was a blast, and Nancy left and went to the house and passed out drunk. I ended up spending the evening making friends with a really, really hot chic. She was supposed to stay at my neighbors house, but he had gotten really drunk, and was not going to take the answer no to a threesome with him, this girl, and his wife. His wife asked me to walk the girl home.

I obliged. I walked her to her house. She informed me here husband was deployed to Haiti (this was military housing) and she was there all alone. She asked me to come in with her when we got to her house and help her make sure no one was there. When we went through the house, we ended up in the bedroom. She pulled off her top and I stood there stunned, staring at one of the nicest sets of boobs I have ever seen.

Then I turned and ran.

I ran all the way home. I ran home and had sex with my very drunk wife. She got pregnant. She got pregnant and could not have her gaul bladder surgery, luckily they caught her pregnancy or I would not have my daughter Tuesday. I have always thought that I traded Nancy for Tuesday cause of the delayed surgery, and if I had this event to do over I would do the exact same thing. Every time.

Anyway, that was my soultion to cheating. I loved to flirt. I could talk the panties off a nun. I once almost got a considerable bunch of nerds (Doctor Boogie, Jaeger, Protoclown) laid by some strippers in Cleveland. But talk is all I would ever do, if things turned serious I would run away.

Erin had other plans.
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  #43  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 06:59 PM       
OH NOES

OH NO SHE DINNIT
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  #44  
mew barios mew barios is offline
dead end
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 07:36 PM       
i guess the last time i saw you or talked to you or anythin was around 2003. not tha i could've offered super advice and insight if i knew any of tha stuff back then, i was justa dumb kid. unless defeating you at starcraft helped somehow :o
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  #45  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 08:30 PM       
This thread ROCKS!
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  #46  
george george is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 08:51 PM       
mew, there was prolly little you could have said at that point that would have changed things, but i appreciate the thought. your visit was fun, and it was a good break from the everyday life. and starcraft was my favorite thing in the entire world!!! i can not wait for starcraft 2 to come out. i am saving up for a new computer that will handle the game.

i think only glowbelly had a full bead on what was going on. Protoclown to, although i did not lay too much on him because he is a genuinely nice guy and he would have been really sad for me, and i never wanted that.

ok, i am prolly gonna watch football now. i was thinking of trying to finnish this tonight, but everyone seems to like it so far so i wont rush to finnish. i havent quite figured out where to stop, but it seems to get bigger as i go along.

let me know if it starts turning into some sort of shitty blog, cause mostly it is just meant to be entertaining, and the fun part is coming, i know i have said this a bunch but the more i fill in the better the impact later. you'll see what i mean.
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  #47  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 09:19 PM       
Okay, in the beginning, my attitude was a solid ' ' , but now this is fascinating.
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  #48  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 09:23 PM       
yea its almost as juicy as celebrity gossip
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captain516 captain516 is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 09:51 PM       
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I once almost got a considerable bunch of nerds (Doctor Boogie, Jaeger, Protoclown) laid by some strippers in Cleveland.
Wait, seriously?
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kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2009, 09:54 PM       
Yea, cause strippers are so hard to get in the sack.
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