Sadie I wouldn't have mentioned your age at all because simply based on your contemporary feel of humor and/or pop culture satrism, the common consensus opinion of your age, despite any predisposed stereotypes, would not have possibly exceeded the age of 28 years of age, at the MOTHER FUCKING most. Do you k.now what the goddamn average of what most assholes here, or anywhere, would assume? Much fucking younger, that's what. Keep on trucking.
Here, celebrate your birthday Bobo style: buy a bottle of Thunderbird fortified wine, find somebody to sell you some Vicodin (or get a prescription yourself, wth ever) and then take at least two or three of the latter and then proceed to drink the entire fucking bottle of the former, and the resulting feeling will be more than enough to overshadow the depressing emotions tied to being one year closer to death.
Happy Birthday, sexy bitch