The stupidest things you've ever heard.

[Supafly345]

"Who was it that sang 'American Woman' guys? The Beatles?"

[Anonymous]

When I was 8 or so, this guy and his wife were harassing me and my friends for jumping on the jumpy-bridge on a playground cause their daughter wanted to walk across it. So, the father went to grab me and I went down the slide. He went to throw my friend off the bridge and he just said 'Don't touch me.' Or something.

After that dude tried to grab me I said, "Do you want to love me?" and later his wife said, "How old are you, four?" I said, "What are you, two?" She put her hands on her face in mock-surprise and said, "Yes! And I'm so much more mature than you!" I mimicked the expression and tone and said, "And you're a triple-headed vagina beast!"

Yeah.

[camacazio]

"Why don't they close banks for father's day?"

[Zomboid]

One time at football I said something like "Wow...the sun looks weird today. Just stare directly at it and you'll see what I mean" while one of the dumbest guys I've ever met was next to me and after staring for about 3 seconds he said "Ow!"

At an earlier practice he asked which way is left

[Protoclown]

My freshman year of college me and some friends were playing in a Mage: The Ascension role-playing game (warning: geek humor) and one of the guys in the game had his character disguise himself as a woman to remain incognito while some bad guys were trying to find and kill us.

Well one day we were eating in Taco Bell and talking about the game, and my friend Matt had an annoying habit of saying everything VERY loudly. At one point during the conversation he goes "It's a good thing I'm disguised as a woman!" and every single person in that restaurant heard him, turned and looked, and either started snickering or nervously tried to ignore our group for the rest of the time we were there.

[Mad Melvin]

I had a friend like that too. Everytime he explained something and got really excited, he would start to talk louder and louder. I remember one time at the school cafeteria, he started talking about some new first person shooter. He talked louder and louder and finally shout out: "...AND THATS WHEN I TOOK MY SHOTGUN AND BLEW THE MONSTERS HEAD OFF! BLAM BLAM!!" everything was quiet after that for a few seconds and then everyone in the cafeteria started laughing. I have never seen a face so red as my friend had that day.

[MisSFiT]

Hopefully that was before the Columbine incident. :/

[Rongi]

When I was 12 I went to this fancy shmancy art camp that was outdoors and all the lil classes where in huts. And all the counclers where real blow hards and took their jobs really seriously. Me and my friends where sitting at the lunch talking and someone started cursing at the table really loud and we told him to shut up. So this really dumb, drunk, heavy looking councler comes up all tough looking and serious, like he was the drill sergant from Full Metal Jacket, and he starts yelling at the kid who said shut up instead of the kid who was cursing. The kid who was trying to tell the other one to shut up tried to tell him what really happened but the guy, with drool on his chin and a dumb looking cap on his head that was too short for him, said this:

"I'm not as dumb as I look"

All of us started laughing so hard that I started crying and I almost popped a blood vessel in my neck.

[WorthlessLiar]

I was flipping through channels at my friend's house when we were both 14. Eventually we landed on MTV and Marylin Manson was on. My friend who at the time was incredibly sheltered looked over at his dad's CD collection (full of the usual adult music: classic rock, oldies, classical) and remarked with utmost seriousness "I wonder if my dad has any Marylin Manson CDs."

[Matt Harty]

"I was flipping through channels at my friend's house when we were both 14. Eventually we landed on MTV and Marylin Manson was on. My friend who at the time was incredibly sheltered looked over at his dad's CD collection (full of the usual adult music: classic rock, oldies, classical) and remarked with utmost seriousness 'Iwonder if my dad has any Marylin Manson CDs.'"

[Daphne]

My friend Vida (who is jewish) was talking about the Holocaust with her (idiot) boyfriend's twin brother (who clearly got all the brains) when suddenly her boyfriend pipes up with 'You know....Hitler, was like....A *really* mean guy!'

My brother also thought the Violent Femmes did a song called 'Twister in the Sun'

[Spooky]

your brother also thought my penis was a lollipop

[Mike]

Two little kids were arguing about whether or not orange was a real color. The older one said "Oh yeah? Well what do you know? I was alive before you were even born!"

[sadie]

lol@twister.

my ex used to think that "i love beach music" song said "our love beats music."

[Ghost of Fraiser]

[Rongi]

"I USED TO BE A PUNK JUST LIKE YOU, UNTIL I GOT BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A RACECAR!"

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard

[Command Prompt]

http://pub175.ezboard.com/fimockeryg...tart=1&stop=20

I felt dirty doing that.

And I was the last one to post in that thread too! Ahhh memories

[Bestrest]

When i was 7 yrs old, A boy from my class got insulted by anything and says:

You are a Lesbian!!!!!1!

But the fact is, I am, becouse i'm a man..

[Jixby Phillips]

my ex used to think that "i love beach music" song said "our love beats music."

Excuse me while I kiss this guy!

[mburbank]

Reverend Bluejeans

[Comrade Rocket]

Once me and my friend Mat were walking out of this one class. My friend Mat had recently dyed his hair Blue. While walking out we came across this kid named Brullo. He is one of those kids who thinks he's Mr. Cool but in reality everyone hates him and the only person who hangs out with him is his cousin. In any case while leaving the classroom Brullo goes, "Hey Mat, why did you dye your hair that color, you look like an idiot." Mat was quiet without an insult to strike back with. So I stepped in and said, "its better than looking like a rat." Were Brullo responds, "At least I don't look like Jon Bon Jovi." Needless to say we just left him there.

There was also this other time with Mat were this very White kid who thought he was black and was with the Crips, didn't show up to school. While the other kids were coming up with reasons why he didn't show, Mat says very loudly, "MAYBE HE'S OUT CAPPING ******S." The class got very quiet, and Mat was asked to leave. Then when he came back he started talking about Pedophiles, even I had to leave his alone with that.

[Sicktodeathmx]

"That guys a cop, eh... He knows you are lying"...
"You knob."

[Daphne]

Originally Posted by Spooky

your brother also thought my penis was a lollipop

You have no idea how acurate that is. All the women he dates look like men.

[Protoclown]

Originally Posted by Trigger

Needless to say we just left him there.

What ever gave you the idea that you didn't need to say that???

[Cap'n Crunch]

Like last year my younger brother was trying to hit me or something, so I hit him back, and I think he wanted to call me like a jiz mopper or something and he called me a jizzer.