Feb 29th, 2004, 06:41 PM
Newspaper article
I was assigned to report about a tradition of the swimming team.
As most students know, the members of the swim team have donned a fascinating hairstyle. The swimmer’s hair consists of an excessive use of blonde dye, a trim that appears to have been performed by a lunatic student barber, and a throwback to the 80s that was best forgotten. In order to get a better understanding of this unique tradition, and to inform the student body with my findings, I interviewed two members of the team.
“May I ask you some questions about your hair?”
Junior Jack Focarelli reluctantly agreed. His unwillingness was understandable. He has been the subject of quite a bit of attention for the last two weeks, ranging from disgusted looks, to being photographed by strangers in his local mall. The public’s curiosity is a reaction to his hairstyle. Jack sported a glowing, yellow, nascent mullet. With a lack of enthusiasm kindly suspended, I was told that the styling and haircuts were done by the team members and coaches themselves, who appear to have no experience in hair removal, other than from the legs, and presumably, the face. This ritual took place in an unnamed captain’s home, and those who had enough hair were given mullets. The swimmers started dyeing their hair in 2001, and Jack says that we can expect cornrows along with the standard fluorescent yellow, next year.
Before an exciting class of Algebra II, I asked fellow student Brian Connley a series of personal questions about his ‘doo. Although many consider it an abomination of perfectly good hair, Connley was excited to receive this cut, which he expressed with an enthusiastic “Hell yeah.” His parents are looking forward to Feb 27th, when the swimmers will return to the captain’s home and shave their heads for the upcoming state tournament. When asked if his hair was a source of pride, he cockily rubbed the back of his head and replied, “Represent.”
Although the B.C. High swimmer’s haircut seems to be a bizarre, two week long rally cap, and an unnecessary homage to decrepit rock stars, further investigation shows otherwise. The cut reinforces a sense of team unity in a sport where individual performance is so vital, as all the swimmers are brought to the captain’s home. Also, it allows B.C. High students to easily recognize the proud swimmers, and it’s creativity exceeds the traditional “shirt and tie for game day”, that other teams wear. Lastly, it perpetuated their winning streak during the Catholic Conference, as the combination of a Speedo and mullet on one man’s body was clearly too frightening for the competition to endure.
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