What Are You Watching Right Now?

[Pub Lover]

It is movie time again in the world of me. It is the wonderful period when my satellite television provider makes a movie channel free for a short time to try and hook me into paying for it all the time. This time they have given me Rialto. I like it when they give me Rialto. Rialto is best. Most independent movies, at least the ones on Rialto, are far superior to the usual trashy, and more popular, movies I watch for the rest of the year.

First up Chasing Amy, sure I have it on DVD, but I never watch it as I have easier ways to slowly lower my self-worth in just two hours. I have been watching My Name Is Earl on the television, so rewatching Chasing Amy was worth it just for the tiny Ethan Suplee role.

Summer of Sam was directed by Spike Lee, and it was good to see him keep the uppity black people to just five minutes. Get it? Comically Angry Face. The protracted sex scenes seemed pointless to me, if I wanted porn I would watch porn. I do not want porn, unless it is snuff porn and the sluts are shot in the head as a finale. Get it? Angry Face. I would have liked this movie more if it had focussed more on the Disco vs Punk subplot or I dunno, maybe the, you know, Killer?

I enjoyed watching Box of Moonlight, but thinking back it is nothing but a kind of poor buddy pic, with far too many exposed cocks.

"HEY WE'RE MAKING AN INDEPENDANT FILM!"
"YEAH? IN THAT CASE YOU NEED MORE PENIS!"


My first foreign language movie in far too long was Infernal Affairs. Set in Hong Kong the story follows two men, one an undercover policeman infiltrating a Triad, the other a Triad stooge posing as a cop. The plot kept me thinking, and it was full of humour, well I hope it was humour, maybe if I watched it with some Chinese maybe I would be the only one laughing, maybe they would then be kicking my ass. I think I better not watch any movies with any minority, including Rednecks. Yeah, Rednecks would kick my ass.

The Paper starring Michael Keating reminded me throughout of Cary Grant's His Girl Friday. A newspaperman will do anything to keep his wife and get the big story? Same damn movie. Keating is good, but Grant is better.

Belonging tells a story about a really nice woman who is put upon by all around her. Most of the other charcters can be explained away their situations, but the husband is an ass. He leaves his loving and caring wife for a young mother of two, knocks her up, and then insists that his old wife sells the house and home she was born-in to finance the baby's upbringing. Fuck him.

Funny Bones I have seen before. While mostly the buffoon he is usually cast as, at times Lee Evans verges on disturbing in his intense portrayal of a clown that cannot stand the laughter anymore.

Although touting itself as a documentary throughout, Unreal is a thin comedy too mired in the clichés of Reality Television that inspired it. Argumentatively it could be said that the movie is a subtle parody, but then how subtle can a parody be before it becomes merely repetition?

In Pups two kids find a gun, and decide to rob a bank. This movie really gives me the idea that Gun Education is a better idea than Gun Control. OK, so I think lack of guns is better over all, but then I like following the rules without coercion. Hahaha, OK maybe I just don't like the idea of getting shot. The best part of the movie is when one of the kids is blowing bubbles, and the bankteller hostage gets really excited and starts playing with the bubbles in the air. Oh, and does anyone else think Burt Reynolds dyes his eyebrows?

Balzac And The Little Chinese Seamstress is set in 1970s communist China and that leads to the idea of the whole thing being in Chinese making sense. I found it sad to think that people can think education and free thinking is a bad thing, but then I also think it's a bad thing that stupid thinking isn't discouraged more. Maybe it is just where you draw the line. It's a nice sentimental story, had me gushing like the big fag I am.

Hugo Weaving and Russell Crow are in Proof. It is a story about a blind photographer that never really got over the death of his mother, it is a sad story that doesn't go anywhere. I didn't feel like I connected with the characters in anyway, but that may be because of all the Agent Smith versus Maximus jokes I couldn't refrain from making during the first half hour.

18 Years Later is the sequel to Three Men and a Cradle, which was remade in the US as Three Men and a Baby. While having seen the Hollywood remake, I have not seen the original French '...Cradle', but that is not much of a problem, short of the deep felt belief that the original would be vastly superior. This film was fun to watch and full of easy French humour and jokes at the expense of Americans. What I did not like was the nerdy boy becoming 'cool' and then getting the girl after being a total ass.

The tale of a wandering blind masseur that exacts revenge on a gang of crooks is told in Zatoichi. Lots of swords, killings, blood, and several amusing fools.

What if Burke & Hare were Australian medical students at the end of the 20th century? Well, then it would be Muggers. The thing to remember about this movie? That the requisite independent movie nudity took the form of Nicola Charles' left breast, which just leaves Madeleine West to complete the set, and I never have to think about Neighbours again. ...because women are objects. Get it? Serious face.

Last year I saw the anti-McDonalds movie Super-Size Me, counterintuitively I was left craving greasy and over salted food for weeks after. Well, now I have watched McLibel which held a much better dose of Anti-McDonalds propaganda that incensed me with much anti-corporation anger. A good job done there. Auntie.

I have finally watched Clerks. It's funny. However, thanks to years of the internet, I was finding so many of the jokes just plain irritating before even the midpoint. I really liked the stuff about the Death Star and a little surprised that I hadn't heard the idea quoted somewhere.


Is there a BBcode for indenting?