Chimp's New Big Thread

[Royal Tenenbaum]

She's a bitch.

[AChimp]

You don't understand. This seriously sucks. Why the hell would anyone think that I would be out for revenge!?? I mean, yeah, I'll joke about it on a fucking Internet message board but I'd never do anything in real life. I've never done anything like that!

I can't believe that's what she thinks I'm like.

[Jixby Phillips]

Do the two of you even really fucking know each other?

[AChimp]

I thought I did. :/

[Baalzamon]

Yeah, thats quite a slap in the face. She should know you better than that by now.

It almost sounds like she's trying to figure out why the hell your still going after her. like, "WTF does he want, didnt I dump that guy 2 months ago?"

I know its harsh, but if thats the way she sees it, who knows what she would think of your intentions.

You have not yet recieved a response to your letter. She is stalling, because she sees the issue as resolved and mute, and has no inclination to delve back into it. She will continue to do so untill you go away.

The longer you sit there, waiting for the chance to have a "serious discussion" about your "relationship" with her the longer you will suffer, while all the while she will be completely oblivious to this because in her mind this is OVER, and has been for weeks. She doesnt care anymore.

She doesnt even care enough anymore to give you the god damned courtesy of filling you in on all of this. She's just going to let you smash your head into the wall again and again and again, untill you knock yourself unconscious and suddenly stop bothering her. She will not even notice when this happens.

This is a terrible thing for her to do to you, but you have to put that aside for a minute and realize that you are going to have to just move on on your own. She is not going to tell you what to do, so stop waiting for her to.

She is not going to feel sorry for you, the people on these boards are not going to feel sorry for you, and unless you stop feeling sorry for yourself you will never get past this. This shit happens to everyone at some point, deal with it.

And if you are worried about the continuity of your thread, I would like to inform you that this whole issue was resolved 3 pages ago. unless she actually responds to your letter, bitches you out in public, or jumps you for some gross monkey secks, this thread is over. Otherwise I think I have summed up very well where the whole thing is going.

If you want the thread to grow, you have to put this behind you and actually start doing stupid shit to put on the board, which we will then make fun of you for. That makes a thread, not this dead end crap.

And your personal mental health should also be more important to you that having a big thread for a bunch of people who dont even know you to read. you already had that.

[Baalzamon]

Do the two of you even really fucking know each other?

I thought I did.

Come on man, from where I was sitting the two of you shared more knowledge about computer science than you did about each other.

And yes, I am insinuating exactly what you think I am here.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

It's obvious that she is completey obilivious to all normal, social conduct. Just drop kick her and be over with it.

[Protoclown]

stage a fake suicide attempt citing her as the reason and maybe you can get a sympathy fuck, it's the best you can hope for

it's BOUND to work, give it a try! :thumbsup

[Gåte]

Have I missed something?

[Baalzamon]

stage a fake suicide attempt citing her as the reason and maybe you can get a sympathy fuck, it's the best you can hope for

it's BOUND to work, give it a try! :thumbsup

That has to be the absolute worst idea I've ever heard.

And I predict that it would not work too.

[kellychaos]

Quoting Scorcese's absolute worst movie ... and I'm the moron? :thehand

[Protoclown]

I predict that Baalzamon won't get jokes

[kellychaos]

:sarcasticallyimpaired

[Baalzamon]

I predict that Baalzamon won't get jokes

I got it, I'm just spelling it out for chimp, because he might miss it, and being a little depressed, i wouldnt want him to actually take you seriously.

[Anonymous]

thanks, mom

[AChimp]

I may be depressed, but I'm not that depressed.

I'm gonna try to ask her what the hell is up tomorrow. You see, I already told her once that I wouldn't go off and plot revenge against her. Apparently, she didn't believe me and I don't really want her to go on any character assassination sprees with respect to my reputation. Although, it's quite likely that if she started telling people that I was plotting revenge against her, they would just be like, "WTF? Chimp? He's a pussy man."

I've got no idea what she thinks, but I'd like to find out. Most likely it's something bad, like tying her to a railway track and laughing maniacally and wearing a black cape and tophat.

Apparently, she's got some trust issues, which isn't really surprising. Her last boyfriend was a really asshole and fucked in the head. He was completely controlling and got insanely jealous when she would talk to other guys, and even told her once that he had stabbed himself with a needle that he found in the park, causing her to sit in the hospital for half a day, waiting for the results of a hepatitis test... her own (BTW, he just told her that to mess around with her). But, he did "sweet" things, like giving her flowers, etc. Then one day he just dumped her out of the blue.

So, now she won't let anyone get close, and anybody who does "sweet" things obviously HAS to be trying to mess with her. No close attachments, either, because people who you are close to WILL ALWAYS hurt you, no matter what.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

they will Chimp....they will.

[AChimp]

No, I meant the "Oh shit, the world is ending" hurt.

[Baalzamon]

Well, you are going to have to drill through all the layers of bullshit with her, and from the sounds of it you have not really been sucessfull so far.

It doesnt look like patience will get you any further than you have already gotten.

You have to become heavy handed with it. If she wants to hide behind her paranoia, and brush you off, so be it, but make her do it with full understanding of what she is doing.

If you force her to look at what shes doing, she will either realize she is being stupid, or will continue to remain just the way she is now. At least that way theres a chance.

[Anonymous]

chimp, baal's totally hitting on you

[Baalzamon]

[AChimp]

His penis intimidates me.

[Baalzamon]

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"WTF? Chimp? He's a pussy man."

You forgot a comma, you pussy. :/

the only satanic thingy i have going on currently is this ritual voodoo doll explosion ceremony which will hopefully end in your demise.

Actually, I just made all that shit up. But, interestingly, you didn't deny the incest. You are a real sick fucker.

[Baalzamon]

Dont forget man, this is the same person who practically shit herself over Snake's drunken antics.

Theres only one other person I can think of at the moment who hates snake with a passion for no reason, and I think him and her have one thing in common, mental instability (you know damned well who I'm talking about)

Snake is practically an instant sense of humor test, and she failed it big time.

Yeah, yeah, go ahead and bitch about how "inapropriate" it was, but hell, now that I look back the reaction was more rediculous than the comments themselves.

Hell, I bet you'll even come out and try to say this is all snakes fault or something. That or my "intimidating" penis