Harry Potter Spoilers

[Spooky]

Hogwarts gets hit by a nuke.
Tons of Time Traveling action.
Dumbledore kills Harry.
Darth Vader kills the emperor.
Ron Weasley discovers how to use the three shells.
Hagrid actually has a very small penis.
Somebody spikes the Deatheaters victory party punch with pee. MAGIC pee.
The last 30 pages are just instructions on how to solve various puzzles boxes.
Judas betrays Jesus.
Fraggles started everything for hogwarts being built on their caves.
incest.
Hermoine discovers frozen body of Captain America in the arctic.
Chapter 3 reveals spoilers for the final season of Lost.
Cranky Kong headbutts no less than four wizards.
Trout fishing.
Still no black wizards.
Billy Zane cameo.
Page 420 has giant pot leaf on it.
Page 422 is mostly about people on the shitter.
Dragons pork.
Final battle decided by a bejeweled match, ala Puzzle Quest.
Internet porn kills Dumbledore.