Now, I was pretty stoked about my new job. I had to go get a physical and do a Urine test because I was going to be making explosives and you had to be clean and in decent shape. I wasn't too worried though because it had been months since I had done anything (Ronnies Birthday) and I was pretty sure I would be fine.
I was wrong. I came up positive for Opium. I got called by the Lab, and was given the option of withdrawing my application or being banned from Federal service for life. I withdrew my application
I was jobless (aside from Wendy's) and broke, and things could not have been worse. Nancy went to work bartending, and for the first time in our marriage our roles were completely reversed. I started taking care of the kids all day, and they were happy. I took them to school, got them off the bus, cooked them dinner, and we watched a lot of cartoons together.
Nancy lorded my failure to get the job over me at every opportunity. Any time we didn't have enough money to do something for the kids, she would be sure to tell them that it was my fault. That i was a drug addict piece of shit. Remember all that time I was laid off and had a problem? Well Nancy made a point of telling anyone who would listen about it, and about what a huge asshole I was, and how she had to support us all because I was such a lazy fuck.
All the while she did nothing but go out and get drunk, and spend what money she made bartending on god knows what drugs. She had taken to passing out and peeing whatever she was sleeping on. Not a day went by that me and the kids did not find her passed out in her own urine. She got two DUI"S in the space of a week. Nancy was completely out of control.
Finally, I found a job. Overnights at Wal Mart. Stocking shelves. It was crap work, but it brought in money, and I was home during the day with the kids. It only antagonized Nancy. Seriously, I dont know how I survived this part of my life. You can not imagine how a concentrated effort by somone you love to make you feel like shit can hurt you. I now have the deepest sympathy for women who get beaten and dont leave. If you are caught in a cycle of abuse, you really do start to feel like you desrve it. You hate yourself so much that you NEVER think a good thing about yourself.
Erin started coming by the house during the day. She had a new BF named Larry and they would come by and my kids would play with Erin's daughter (Erin had no ther friends with kids and no where to stay with hers except home). I liked Erin and Larry, and when they were there it gave me a little bit of a break from Nancy's non stop bitching. Plus Erin and I were slowly becoming close friends. Even if people coming over slowed Nancy's bitching, it never really stopped, and Erin was pretty sympathetic even if we never talked about the whole thing.
Larry helped Nancy get a day job bartending at a bar he managed. I took over Nancy's day shift at the bar she worked at. It worked out nicely cause I could work at the American Legion and Walmart, and still had time to be there for the kids. I spent a lot of days with them and Erin. Her and her little girl became regulars around my house, which didnt bother Nancy when she had been home to chaparone. Now that she was not there though she had much different thoughts on the whole thing.
People get suspicious about the things they would do, not the things they think you are doing. I had it on pretty good authority that Nancy was cheating on me. I wont get into the whole thing, but I just decided to stop having sex with her and leave her to do whatever she liked. I just did not want to know. Just the same she started to imply that I was fucking Erin. The fact that there were four kids in the house with us at all times, and that I would not cheat on her meant nothing.
I will digress here for a moment to explain my viewpoint on cheating. I feel like loyalty is the greatest of all human commitments. If you love someone and have sworn to be on their side to the bitter end, that is what you fucking mean. It is what you stand for. It is not just when things are good. You stand in through thick and thin and until the war is won. That is how it is.
One night in 1994 my neighbor had a party. Nancy and I went to this party and had a really great time. Nancy and I had been fighting for a few months and had not had sex for about four months or so. Mostly cause she was having some medical problems with her gaul bladder (remember that surgery gone wrong? here is where it became my fault). She got scheduled for surgey, and it was about two weeks away.
The party was a blast, and Nancy left and went to the house and passed out drunk. I ended up spending the evening making friends with a really, really hot chic. She was supposed to stay at my neighbors house, but he had gotten really drunk, and was not going to take the answer no to a threesome with him, this girl, and his wife. His wife asked me to walk the girl home.
I obliged. I walked her to her house. She informed me here husband was deployed to Haiti (this was military housing) and she was there all alone. She asked me to come in with her when we got to her house and help her make sure no one was there. When we went through the house, we ended up in the bedroom. She pulled off her top and I stood there stunned, staring at one of the nicest sets of boobs I have ever seen.
Then I turned and ran.
I ran all the way home. I ran home and had sex with my very drunk wife. She got pregnant. She got pregnant and could not have her gaul bladder surgery, luckily they caught her pregnancy or I would not have my daughter Tuesday. I have always thought that I traded Nancy for Tuesday cause of the delayed surgery, and if I had this event to do over I would do the exact same thing. Every time.
Anyway, that was my soultion to cheating. I loved to flirt. I could talk the panties off a nun. I once almost got a considerable bunch of nerds (Doctor Boogie, Jaeger, Protoclown) laid by some strippers in Cleveland. But talk is all I would ever do, if things turned serious I would run away.
Erin had other plans.