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  #1  
ThrashO ThrashO is offline
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Old Jun 4th, 2012, 07:37 PM        I need to make my voice sound sickly and hoarse by tomorrow. how.
I missed work today, and I fuck up alot, but luckily i smoked so much last night that I called in with a raspy and overly sick voice.

Tomorrow I have to go and talk to the general manager and see what he says. He's kind of an asshole but he likes me more than most people who work there.

Anyways, besides sleeping with a fan in my face and smoking 4x more than usual tonight, what are some guaranteed ways to fuck my vocal chords up by tomorrow afternoon?
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  #2  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jun 4th, 2012, 09:00 PM       
When I did music in college and performing arts medicine later, they said never to eat dairy before singing because you're all phlegmed up. So give that a try, I guess.

I don't know, usually yelling a lot makes a voice raspy.
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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Jun 4th, 2012, 09:49 PM       
Drill sergeants gargle lemon juice, among other things, to make themselves hoarse.
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  #4  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 12:13 AM       
gargle jizz
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  #5  
zeldasbiggestfan zeldasbiggestfan is offline
What
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 12:55 AM       
Scream for a couple of hours. That should work.
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  #6  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 01:18 AM       
No tadao is right just gargle a big ol' cum

Get fired like a man, you don't deserve the job anyway
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Babs Babs is offline
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 02:50 AM       
Smokes pot and a fuck up. I never would of thought.
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  #8  
ThrashO ThrashO is offline
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 06:01 AM       
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you don't deserve the job anyway
this is true. i steal from there all the time.

how much cum and can it be my own
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  #9  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 07:20 AM       
Dammit how come I was all serious and helpful and then you guys showed me another way I could have gone with it

fuck you all
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  #10  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 02:23 PM       
This is i-mockery not i-helpery
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  #11  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 04:05 PM       
I need to cross stitch that and hang it where I can see it every morning.
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  #12  
Otto Otto is offline
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Old Jun 6th, 2012, 02:08 AM       
You should write "PUT MAN WIENERS HERE" on your forehead in sharpie and draw an arrow going down your nose to your mouth. Then let a dude put his dick in your mouth.

Do this and start charging for it, I heard Pram Maven really turned his life around doing this, that is until he paid all of those guys to let him suck their dicks.
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Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Jun 6th, 2012, 01:23 PM       
Dick and sperm jokes. Well I'm surprised.
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Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Jun 6th, 2012, 01:36 PM       
When you say smoke, do you mean pot or cigs? Because cigs will do the job a lot better. If you smoke like 4 packs in that time your voice should be plenty fucked up. With any luck all that nicotine will make you a little nauseous as well.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Jun 6th, 2012, 02:38 PM       
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Dick and sperm jokes. Well I'm surprised.
I was expecting GW to be all high and mighty first. It's good to know that there is someone on hand to take his place should he die.
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  #16  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jun 6th, 2012, 02:43 PM       
Make sure there are no pussy filters on your cigarettes either.

Also chew glass and eat blacktop.
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  #17  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Jun 7th, 2012, 02:45 AM       
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I was expecting GW to be all high and mighty first. It's good to know that there is someone on hand to take his place should he die.
Not really, just saying that you shouldn't be surprised about dick and sperm jokes.

Thrasho, how did it go?
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Jun 7th, 2012, 03:45 AM       
Oh, thank god. I thought for a moment you decided to criticize us for being childish.
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  #19  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Jun 7th, 2012, 02:58 PM       
Zhukov go gargle a cum
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jun 7th, 2012, 04:19 PM       
Yes, how did the glass eating and asphalt tasting go?
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