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Senior Member
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Idaho
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Dec 30th, 2004, 12:54 AM
I disagree with everyone here on the subject. There's actually a well-documented reason for this.
Thousands of years ago, before Madonna got laid, there was a chipmunk named "Eddie". His real name was Howard Alfonso Hermanstoffer, but everyone called him "Eddie" for short. One day he was digging in the desert where he lived and found a peanut.
Thinking that it was rather odd that a peanut lived in the desert, instead of eating it, the quick-witted chipmunk took it to a robot named Greg that lived in the ocean in the middle of the desert.
Greg took a look at it and decided that it must have been a gift from the Gods. So they took it and placed it on the Altar of Bloodshed, where Greg's father, a mormon priest, had sacrificed many women who had just lost their virginity.
Upon placing it, a smurf came out of nowhere and stole it, then ran into a wall and died. This odd event led Greg and Eddie to decide that since smurfs had been in hiding since the War of the Roses, that it must be a magical peanut and not just a gift from the Gods.
They decided the altar was not the place to put it. Instead, Greg thought it might be a good idea to implant it in place of Eddie's left testicle. They needed someone who knew how to do this though, so they flew to Ike's Mountain and found a goose named Titty to perform the operation.
Titty was not in the mood for such an operation and suggested they wait. Well, after several days of waiting, they finally demanded that the surgery be done or they would tell the other geese about Titty's gambling habit. Not wanting anyone to know about this, Titty killed them and ate the peanut.
But the story doesn't end there.
Well, hell I forgot the rest of it. GD it, I'm going to go jerk off.
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