Chimp's New Big Thread

[Protoclown]

Eh, she'd just cheat on you anyway if you got serious with her. That's what people do.

[AChimp]

I don't think so, but I may never get the chance to know, so .

[Protoclown]

Hey. I'm trying to help you think positive here by telling you that all you missed out on was eventual heartbreak anyway.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Chimp, why are you still sad? Hasn't this thread produced sufficient proof that she is a no good bitch? Get over it! You're way better off without her.

[AChimp]

Because there's lots of background information that I've never posted that all adds up to make me sad.

[Baalzamon]

Since things just seem to be getting progressively worse for you, I'm going to have to put my money on the letter being ignored, never responded to, and then she pretends it never existed.

It will go soemthing like this:

"I'll get around to reading that sometime, I just dont have time right now"

will then progress to:

"oops, I think I lost it"

and then...

"letter, what letter?

Not that I want that to happen to you, but thats my best guess. :/

[AChimp]

Well, then it will be time for Attack of the l33t HaX0r!



No, I think she will read it. But, she will probably say something gay like, "I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything." As usual.

[sadie]

a few things i learned from reading this quickly-expanding thread:

1. chimp is a wuss who not only plans to reuse lame jokes to attract the opposite sex, but also takes a friend with him to hand-deliver a secret love letter to a girl who's obviously blowing him off (though i too like him for some reason. ).
2. chojin is hot for chimp, like a shark sensing the monkeyblood of emotionally-weak rebound secks.
3. snakeass is a fucking idiot. (oh wait. i already knew that. :O)

[kellychaos]

Originally Posted by Royal Tenenbaum

"she could laugh her ass off and do a jig."

She's going to have sex with a black guy?

I'd reply with "worst ... quote ... EVER" but that line was your own idiotic thought ... which makes it even worserer.

[AChimp]

1. chimp is a wuss who not only plans to reuse lame jokes to attract the opposite sex, but also takes a friend with him to hand-deliver a secret love letter to a girl who's obviously blowing him off (though i too like him for some reason. ).

The D-Man really didn't come with me for the sole purpose of helping me deliver the letter. He was off photocopying some stuff at the time.

And I only reuse kinda lame jokes in an endearing way.

Anyways, I have come to two possible conclusions about this whole situation.

Conclusion A:
She used me to get easy help with all her classes this year and only pretended to like me the whole time. Once I was technically no longer of any use to her (after exams were done), she dropped me.

Conclusion B:
She really does/did like me, but is afraid of relationships because of all the shit that happened to her before.

[Jixby Phillips]

I want the backstory.

[Baalzamon]

I have the backstory, somewhat, and I would guess that both A and B are each partially true.

She does like you, is afraid of a relationship, but overcame that fear long enough to get help. Now that she doesn't need you anymore, she is backing off again.

But, untill you get a response to that letter there is no way to be sure.

If there is no response of substance, i would suggest that that be taken as proof that A is indeed the full truth. wouldnt you say so chimp?

[AChimp]

You are wise for someone who intimidates women so much that they avoid you.

Yes, in my letter, I said that she could take as much time as she wanted to respond (within reason! -- I had to add that clause because sometimes you have to talk like a bloody lawyer to her ), but if she had absolutely no intention of responding, just send me an brief e-mail with something like "fuck off" in it so I don't spend days wondering about it.

Since there has been no brief message to that effect, I can only assume that a) she hasn't read it yet or has no intention of reading it, or b) she is still working on a response. :/

No response at all ever means I become very vocal with any denouncement I make and hopefully force a very public confrontation in which I make her cry.

[MLE]

maybe that'll be good for her

[AChimp]

In a "tear her down and build her back up" kinda way.

[Baalzamon]

You are wise for someone who intimidates women so much that they avoid you.

I guess sitting in my basement alone crying gives me lots of time to think and ponder.

Speaking of which, what if she is intimidated by me, and the fact that as your friend I am associated with you has forced her to avoid you as well as me just to be sure she stays away from me!?

OMG, I fucked you over by accident! :P

well, probably not

Yes, in my letter, I said that she could take as much time as she wanted to respond (within reason! -- I had to add that clause because sometimes you have to talk like a bloody lawyer to her ), but if she had absolutely no intention of responding, just send me an brief e-mail with something like "fuck off" in it so I don't spend days wondering about it.

I see you have been paying attention to me. If it truly is as clear as this, you should have your answer soon.

A "fuck you" would no doubt suck but it would clear things up.

A real response would depend on its content of course.

In the case of a complete lack of response, IMO you would be well within your rights to consider it an insult of the worst kind, and would thereby be justified to do what needs to be done.

Just dont get her mad enough to send Tony after you, because then I would be obligated to help you out, and that would be really painfull for everyone involved. Lets avoid that please.

[AChimp]

Tony has been fucked over by girls enough to take my side, I think.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Originally Posted by kellychaos

I'd reply with "worst ... quote ... EVER" but that line was your own idiotic thought ... which makes it even worserer.

Obviously you haven't seen Gangs of New York you fucking moron.

Sadie, just because the only sexual relationship you have at the moment is some type of weird satanic incest with your son doesn't mean you can take it out on the rest of us. Please, just kill yourself already.

[AChimp]

Please.

This thread is about consoling me and coming up with ways for me to play mind games.

[Baalzamon]

If she doesnt respond to you...

Write her another note, this time make it about how you arent interested in her and asking her to stop pursueing you. Let her down easy by telling her you like her, but just as a friend, and if she cared about you she would accept that, and stop hitting on you, etc, blah blah blah

Deliver this note exactly one week after the previous note, and feign complete ignorance of the existance of the first note. Be extremely nice to her to the point of irritation. Constantly apolagize and tell her you are sorry for leading her on, its your fault, she'll get over you, etc.

This will totally fuck with her, and she will be extremely confused.

How is that for mind games?

[sadie]

snakeass, the only satanic thingy i have going on currently is this ritual voodoo doll explosion ceremony which will hopefully end in your demise. so shut up. fool.

[AChimp]

I think I'm gonna cry.

[Baalzamon]

If you cry she wins man!

take controll!

Make her do enough crying for the both of you!

[AChimp]

Krazy Canuk just told me that when he talked to her last week (he was the one who told her that she should talk to me, and that's why she was waiting, and that's why I ended up standing there like an idiot), she said that she thought I wanted to take revenge on her or something, so she was avoiding me.

[Baalzamon]

take revenge on her?

that probably means in her mind the whole issue had been resolved a long time ago (i.e. "no").

So now the way she sees it you are trying to "get back at her" for the rejection.

So in her mind she has already "dumped" you. That means it is a massive failure on her part to properly communicate.

She just assumed that you picked up on the secret woman language vibes, which is a pretty fucking stupid thing for her to do, because men dont understand the secret woman language. everyone knows this.

So chimp, are you still not convinced that its a definite no?

I for one have been fairly certain of this since halfway through page 1 of this thread.

Have you simply moved on to the furious avatar of vengence stage?

If so she would indeed be correct about the revenge thing.