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OperationScuzBucket · #1

(Alex if you're reading this, stop now. I promise you that you don't want to read this. You WILL throw up.)

Ok, I'm going to be blunt here. I need tips on how to give a good bj. I know I probably won't get one real bit of advice from you guys, but I figured it was worth a shot since you're all a bunch of horny guys who probably whack off at least five times a day.

I tried this last night, and it looked easy in every porno I'd seen, but I think I sucked at it (no pun intended) because he didn't get off too much. He claimed it was just because he was trying not to nut in his car, but I didn't even think guys could control that.

I really like this guy, so now I'm trying to get better at this to make him happy. I'm a beginner (obviously), so I need all the coaching I can get. If you decide to help me, thanks a bunch. If you mock me, well...I get what I deserve for posting this on a site called i-mockery, now don't I? But oh well.

Schimid · #2

JOIN THE NINTENDO FAN CLUB!!!

I can't give any tips

Cap'n Crunch · #3

PUT YOUR MOUTH AROUND HIS PENIS AND BITE DOWN. TRUST ME, GUYZ LUV IT.

CaptainBubba · #4

Use your tongue more you stupid bitch. Suction is uncomfortable. Tongue is wet and warm.

YOU WILL THINK OF ME EVERY TIME YOU TRY IT NOW. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> : )

OperationScuzBucket · #5

>_< ...to the person who pasted this post in an IM to my brother- I WILL find you you bastard

Ooner · #6

PROSTATE.

touch it.

Schimid · #7

IF YOU STUCK YOUR FINGER UP MY ASS I'D PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH

Ninjavenom · #8

LOL Schimid

Don't believe porn. Seriously. It's all fluff. And not the good kind of fluff, like young, aspiring actresses get paid for in between scene shoots. It's full of the bad kind. Like the Dry Sex in the Back of a Pinto During a Hailstorm in Antarctica kind of bad fluff. :/

Supafly345 · #9

For goodness sake's, make sure you bob your head. Once I had to grab onto the back of her head and move it for her.She said "Ow, why did you do that?" afterwards. Don't be her.

soundtest · #10

Start off slow, then pick up the pace. More tongue, no suction. Lick that little part on the back of the head. Also, you've got 2 free hands - use 'em. Play with his balls a little. DO NOT give a bj that's a disguised "hand job" though to make him ejaculate faster - WE KNOW. Pace yourself on his reactions. If you love him? SWALLOW.

Quote:

>_< ...to the person who pasted this post in an IM to my brother- I WILL find you you bastard

Esuohlim · #11

Remember that semen is not actually supposed to be white, so if you do it and it's white then that means you did it wrong and he'll expect you to try again every day until you do it right.

AND DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT IT'S WHITE IN PORNO BECAUSE PORNO IS ALL LIES.

Cap'n Crunch · #12

BLACK PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE BLACK SEMEN.

Esuohlim · #13

BUT WHITE SHIT

da blob · #14

A few tips .. progression (strat slow and with soft touch, then increase pace and pressure). As has been said, use your tongue a lot. The deepthroating thing is exciting but not really efficient physically. You can do it once in a while just to impress him, hahahaha. Most important - imagination comes with love and attention.