Impress me with your injuries.

[Kitsa]

My walking-into-a-solid-steel-desk bruise is now a long purple oval, with a black center and green edges, and a red line running down the middle of it.

[Otto]

Frankly I'm surprised that my incident with the stove didn't leave me with an "Uzumaki" style scar burned into the palm of my hand. I guess it wasn't a deep enough burn.

[ThrashO]

Yeah but you were probably such a badass that the knob has a scar from YOU.

[Otto]

Originally Posted by ThrashO

Yeah but you were probably such a badass that the knob has a scar from YOU.

I am not a badass and will never make the claim to be one. My reaction to getting burned by that thing, even for a child as young as I was, was something that would embarrass a newborn. My reaction to getting burned was to let out a scream that sounded like someone mixed the sounds of a live pig being dismembered, someone using the shifter in a car with no gear-oil, and a howling puppy in Garageband.

[Fathom Zero]

My feet are on here somewhere, maybe in the picture thread. I have lots of burns.

[Kitsa]

The day my parents got their first computer is forever burned in my memory because of the burn on my hand. We were at a party at my dad's family's house, and they were never too cautious with fireworks (my grandfather used to have the little kids hold roman candles). I was helping to clean up afterward and a bunch of sparklers were stuck hot-end-down in mud to cool them. I grabbed the one that was hot-end-up.

Dear God that was some hideous pain. I had an enormous blister that completely covered my palm and puffed out with the flesh of each finger (with creases for the joints, since they didn't touch the sparkler).

Anyway, I remember the computer store people got ice for my hand from their back room because I was still crying hours later, after my parents left the party to go buy their first computer.

When I worked in the ER, a German exchange student was lighting firecrackers with his host family and noticed, after he lit an M-80 or something like that, that a bee had landed on him. He freaked out about the bee and forgot the firecracker, and blew his fingers off.

Can you imagine having to make that phone call to his family in Germany?

They sent us post-op pictures, once they pieced a hand back together for him. I think they used one of his big toes for the thumb. It didn't look anything like a hand, but it looked better than the lump of hamburger he came in with.

[Otto]

I used to think fireworks were the best thing ever! Me and my friends used to sneak into the bathrooms of abandoned houses, convenience stores, malls, car dealerships, pretty much any place that had a public restroom and flush a couple of lit cherry bombs down the toilet before running out of the business and laughing our asses off. Checking back the next day usually yielded a blackened toilet (if the bomb didn't go down all the way), a waterlogged floor (if the bomb got into the pipe without going out), and if we were really lucky, we found a slightly chipped/broken toilet.

Firecrackers were an integral part of my childhood until about age 16 when I set my grandmother's and all her neighbor's backyards on fire with a roman candle. I tried to stomp out the initial small flames which caused my jeans to catch on fire, scorching my leg, and leaving me with a patch of skin that's slightly pink and lumpy and no longer grows hair. And that is how fireworks betrayed my trust and I had to cut them out of my life.

[george]

i just had a giant boil that was 1.5 cm from my anus, and rather painfully trans-versing my rectum lanced. it was painful. then i decided to start posting here again.

all anal injuries lead me back to i-mockery.

[LordSappington]

I've still got a puncture in my left eardrum from the steroid injections. I went swimming today, with a wax earplug, and was terrified if I dove and the plug came out, my ear drum would burst or something.

[executioneer]

GEORGE

[k0k0]

Originally Posted by LordSappington

I've still got a puncture in my left eardrum from the steroid injections. I went swimming today, with a wax earplug, and was terrified if I dove and the plug came out, my ear drum would burst or something.

I wouldn't even try it. When I was a kid, I got an ear infection visiting my dad in florida from all the swimming and it didn't clear by the time I got on the plane to go home. At about 45 minutes into the flight, my eardrum burst and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. And I get ear infections every 5 months since then.

[Pentegarn]

Originally Posted by george

i just had a giant boil that was 1.5 cm from my anus, and rather painfully trans-versing my rectum lanced. it was painful. then i decided to start posting here again.

all anal injuries lead me back to i-mockery.

While you're telling stories, why not finish that one you started way back when?

[george]

if you can find the thread i will finish that story. it really does have a great ending.

i am going to be on a lot now, and i am happy all the time now, and that means all my pent up stupidity and rage have to go somewhere.

[Pentegarn]

I linked it in my last post George, but here it is in http form

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...php?t=69703440

[george]

ha. i am out of practice painkillers and a 2liter of MTD don't help much either.

[b_squared]

Here is my list:
Scar under my bottom lip, from jumping on the bed. I fell off and cut it on the bed frame.
Fractured ribs and pelvis from a car accident ( a drunk ran a red light and t boned my ford escort) I also have scar under my left arm from the stiches because of the broken glass.
A few scars near my navel from having my tubes tied
Fractured my back when I was bucked off my horse, He also stepped on my left calf and its now 3'' larger than my right calf due to a large hemotoma scar, and hoof shaped dent on the shin bone.
I have another scar on my scalp near my left ear and left eyebrow. I was at work and helping with bust of a fighting cock ring. The cuts were from a very pissed off rooster flying at my head. I think there was seven stitches with that. I also have a few scars on my arms and hands from various dog bites (also work related) Only two of the bites required stitches though.
Right now I have some fading purple/yellow bruises, again caused by the horse. I was mucking out the stall my son comes around the barn chasing his friend playing nerf gun war. The one kid has an automatic nerf gun that is loud, it scared the horse whe decided to run me over. The bruises are 4 to 5'' round and on the hip, thigh and back of my knee. I look like hell. Scars on girls are not cool.

[Dimnos]

Back when I was in high school, I had a job at a bronze foundry. One day when using the table sander to smooth out the bottom of a piece, my fingers got a little to close and I had two fingernails ripped completely off.

Another time, back in high school, I showed up at a friends house and his little brother was trying to build a tree house out back. He was having trouble nailing in a floor support so I thought I would help him out. After getting it nailed in, I jumped out of the tree and landed right on top of a board with a nail sticking straight up. It pierced my shoe, entered my foot, and came out the top of both. After hopping around to the front porch with a 2x4 nailed to my foot, I attempted to pull it out myself, yeah probably not the best idea. Failing that I had to have my friends brother grab the board and yank the nail out that way, only slightly better idea than my first. once it was out, i removed my shoe to find it filled with blood and it just leaking out.

[Colonel Flagg]

I think I told this story awhile ago ...

When I was 13 I fell 35+ feet from a tree. This was back before MRIs, PET scans, CAT scans and other non-invasive diagnostic tools. I needed exploratory surgery to determine what was wrong, and if it could be fixed. I wasn't expected to survive the process, yet somehow I did. My mementos from this blessed event includes 3 somewhat faded scars, one down my belly about 8 inches in length (the "exploratory"), one on the side where they located the drainage tube, and one on my neck from the tracheotomy.

I also lacerated my right arm severely when I was about 11, resulting in about 50 stitches.

[Pentegarn]

Bah your post editing made my actual post moot, so instead I will say ouch Colonel

[ThrashO]

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg

I also lacerated my right arm severely when I was about 11, resulting in about 50 stitches.

Sounds like a gnarly scar

I didn't post this one early but last year I was riding my bike to work and It was just after I had my bike tuned up. I'm flying down this hill and for a split second I'm not paying attention and when I look forward again this bitch in a huge white truck has pulled right onto the sidewalk and it looking right at me.

Instead of slamming into it, like I should've done, I squeeze my FRONT brake like a moron. For those of you who have never done this, the front wheel stops on a dime, but the rest of the bike doesn't. I had to have been going like 25-30 mph down this hill, and I flipped, landing on my left shoulder as if I dived into a pool with no water.

It was one of the worst pains i had ever felt, going to the free clinic a week later because I was too stubborn to go immediately, I was told that my collar bone was fractured but looked like it was healing itself, and I tore the ligament between my collarbone and scapular (should bone). He told me it's called an "AC Tear" and that people can live with them after doing physical therapy. I was supposed to go to another doctor but I never did, it pops funny but all in all it's gotten ALOT better.

[b_squared]

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I have a piece of glass stuck in my foot after rockabilly pool party. Trying to get it out now.

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by ThrashO

Sounds like a gnarly scar

4 gnarly scars, actually. But this happened 40 years ago - the scars have faded dramatically, to the point where one is nearly invisible.

[kahljorn]

i have scars from trying to kill myself

and one time a hose spout thing tried to eat my arm somehow when i was like seven. anyway it ripped some skin off ;/

oh yea and one time when i was on hells bells i thought i was walking on ground but apparantly i was walking on air and i fell off a bed :O
i was hallucinating so bad i thought that i was falling through floors and getting stuck in them :O

pretty much i dont have any cool injuries

[Kitsa]

I think I said this before but when I was 5 my brother cut my thumb off with a pair of scissors and they had to reattach it. There's just a railroad-track scar around the joint and every once in a while if I hit it on something just right it tinglehurts like hell.

The good that came of it, though, was that it gave me a way to tell left from right. My kindergarden teacher said "your right hand is the hand you use", and I'm left-handed, so I was fucked up from the beginning. When the doctor was doing the sutures I heard him say it was my right thumb so I was like "Oh, ok." To this day I sometimes look for the scar if I'm drawing a blank.