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  #76  
HungryWantBiddy HungryWantBiddy is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 08:49 AM       
What can a chicken do that a man can't do?

Eat with his pecker!
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  #77  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 02:55 PM       
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Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
A catholic priest and a rabi run a camp for young boys and they both see a kid out in the woods alone.

The priest says to the rabi, "Hey, you want to fuck that kid?" and the rabi says, "Sure! But what should we fuck him out of?"
rofl
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  #78  
Jules Samza Jules Samza is offline
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Old Jul 22nd, 2008, 12:49 PM       
What's blue, 12 inches long and makes women scream?

Cot death.
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  #79  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jul 22nd, 2008, 02:40 PM       
So a black Canadian hockey player meets the ignorant white guy from South Carolina. The white guy says "Hey Boy. Where're you from?". "Ontario, Canada." said the black man.

White guy "Huh, didn't know they had black Canadians."

Black guy "Sir, I find that extremely offensive!"

White guy "Oh, sorry. African-American Canadian then."

(I got bored on the drive back to Pittsburgh)
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Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Jul 22nd, 2008, 02:56 PM       
Afro-Americanadian
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  #81  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Aug 18th, 2008, 04:46 PM       
A team of archeologists is excavating in Israel when they find a cave with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David on the wall.

The head archeologist points to the first drawing. "This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high esteem." he says. "The donkey shows they were smart enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means they were able to forge tools. Even further proof of high intelligence is the fish: If famine hit the earth, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol is the Star of David, telling us they were Hebrews."

The second archeologist shakes his head. "Hebrew is read from right to left," he explains. "It says, 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!'"
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  #82  
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Old Aug 18th, 2008, 07:02 PM       
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  #83  
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Old Aug 19th, 2008, 08:45 PM       
Q: how many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: some obscure number you've probably never heard of
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Bigtimecow you are like the Fonz of girls pussies.
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  #84  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Aug 21st, 2008, 04:04 PM       
An Englishman, a French guy and an American are exploring Africa, when they're attacked by cannibals. The cannibal chief says, 'Well, we're gonna eat your flesh and use your skin for canoes. Tough luck, eh? But you can choose the way you are going to die.'

The Englishman goes, 'May I have a revolver?'

When he gets it, he blows his brains out, saying, 'God save the queen!'

The French guy says, 'I vill take ze poizon.'

He gulps it down and says, 'Vive le France!' and dies.

The American says, 'Gimme a fork!'

The chief hands him one, and the guy pokes himself all over his skin with it, and shouts, 'That's what I think of your fucking canoe!'
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Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
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  #85  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Aug 21st, 2008, 04:22 PM       
KNOCK KNOCK
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Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
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  #86  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Aug 21st, 2008, 04:23 PM       
Who is there?
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Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
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Old Aug 21st, 2008, 04:24 PM       
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch - he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research." The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer."
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Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
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  #88  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Aug 21st, 2008, 04:25 PM       
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Who is there?
SCRITTI POLITTI
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