cats (in order of appearance)
blue - blue was one of the cats i grew up around. she had brain damage and limped constantly as a result. she was quite the bitch until the last year of her life.
heloise - heloise was the dumbest cat ever. seriously. this animal managed to CATCH ON FIRE while walking accross a stove. AN ELECTRIC STOVE. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. paid a vet to do her in so she wouldn't suffer through the cancer that was killing her slowly. as soon as she was gone blue became affectionate. go figure.
"frankie and johnny" were the next two.
frankie - boy cat, despite the nature of the '60s film. he (and four others, including johnny) were found in the woods by a friend's dog, days before hurricane bob. beautiful grey tiger, big cat. my mom's favorite by far, she used to say that they were "lovers in a former life". he was hit by a car in july of 95, at the ripe old age of four
we got two new cats the following columbus day.
note: first grave i ever dug
johnny - cute grey tiger with a white splash under his chin. johnny is the coolest cat ever. everyone who's ever met him agrees. my friend who claims that he's "the man" says that johnny is "the cat". like i said, he's frankie's brother, and we got them both when i was 7. he's been my best friend since. he'll be 14 this summer.
ZZ - johnny being mine, frankie being my first sister's, my younger sister needed a cat. he was a tope and black tabby. she named HIM after that irritating GIRL character on salute your shorts. he was a whiney little brat cat until frankie died, then he pretty much took over frankie's spot as the big dominant cat. he used to disappear for days and come home reeking of cigarettes. he liked to sit on my mom's schedule books while she was trying to work. awesome kitty. disappeared for a few days once, and we found him under the proch
note: catnip still grows where i buried this one
christopher and columbia (the columbus day weekend adoptions)
christopher - remember how I said Heloise was the dumbest cat ever? I LIED. i used to call him 'fangs' because he had two little white fangs that stuck out from under his face and contrasted against his fur. eventually, this retard downgraded himself to 'fang', and then 'fag'. yeah, he broke both of them. then he got in a fight with what i can only imagine was a large dog and came back missing a large chunk of his right ear. then i watched him get creamed by a camero in the middle of the night. i chased him into the woods to make sure he was okay -- yup, this cat's just too dumb to die. as a result of his camero encounter, he has a stump instead of a tail. did i mention he's stupid? because he's stupid.
columbia - a stuck up bitch of a tortoise shell kitty. long hair, has an ashy spot on her face. she thinks she's royalty. still alive.
bonnie - (boney) she was declawed and either abandoned or lost. she was starving to death in my back yard when we found her and lured her inside. she lived for a little while but was a bit of a schizo and couldn't handle other cats, or our dogs, or her own shadow. she got fattish and spent the last few years of her life hiding from everyone except my mom. she got very sick and died about a year and a half ago by now.
If you're still reading...
DOGS (in order of importance)
Nadine - First dog, awesome dog, Newfoudlland/Golden Retriever, all black. Oct '83-Feb '96. Had her put down because she had cancer and hip problems.
Gladys - Second dog. Best dog. Rotweiler/Golden Retriever, again all black. We got her very soon after Nadine. Still living.
Josephine - Worst dog ever. She's stupid, hostile, and more than a bit of an attention whore.
bold=alive in the following segment
Rabbits:
Gloria
Rachel
Joe
Lizards:
(anoles)
Leonardo
Donatello
(iguanas)
Xavier (pronounce it right, bitches)
Murdoc
Hamsters:
Spike
Angel
Ma
Fish:
Hailey
Spot
Whitey
The Tank
The Plague Bearers
Spot, Whitey, The Tank, and The Plague Bearers were given to us. Goldfish, though almost completely stained black somehow. Then they started losing color. The spots faded out of them, and Whitey lost ALL of his color, gold included. Around this time, The Tank became the biggest fucking goldfish I've ever seen, and Spot retained a single spot. The less discernable fish were simply called "The Plague Bearers," because they all had the black plague at one point.
A friend of mine used to say "dude... why are those fish so big? you might as well keep a trout in a glass of water in your living room."
Birds:
Charlie-Norton (cockatiel, awesome ferocious talkative asshole)
Gracy
George
Eenie
Meenie
Moe
15-ish chickens, and three ducks, only one of which has a name: [b]Fred[b]
So when did this become Pet Biography?
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