before i started hanging around these boards i had a total of 3 people i considered friends. Carey, known as Bim Ska La Bim around here at times, and a guy named Greg and his wife Amy (who chojin and mew have met them, and i am not sure if they are better for it).
since then, i have made several friends from these boards. Glowbelly who i love dearly, Protoclown whom i love as well, and Spaddowsky who may actually be the only person in the world cooler than me
. I would be remiss in not including Chojin and Mew.
Roger and Doopa are super cool, as is Military Messiah. Any people who will drive nearly a hundred miles out of their way to come to a party at my house, and not laugh in my face at how monumentally boring i am, are more than okay in my book, even if it is just for good manners.
oh, and chimp for having low enough standards to accept my attempts at being funny for his website
i also have several friends from the boards that i talk to on aim, and they know who they are, and in order to get to the point i am not going to list all of them, but they help to entertain me through the boring ass grind that is life.
so lately i have ben a bit moody and down about the world in general. i get like that from time to time, mostly because i am certain that i will never be half the writer that i wish to be. i do not want to be rich or famous or anything like that, i just want to be good at it. i want to be able to tell people the way i see the world.
anyhow, in the last few months i have had a voice of support from edorian. he has been somone for me to complain to, or listen to, or at least commiserate with. i have not gotten much more writing done, but i sure as hell have been happier TRYING to write stuff than i have been in years, and for any of you that actually have to work at writing can understand how nice it is for it to be fun instead of like beating your head with a cheese grater. so for that i am thankful.
life has not been real easy for Edorian lately, and the reasons are his business, but even with things being so tough he still has taken time and money (that could have made HIS life a little easier) to send me a book that he hopes will help me to push on with my writing.
for this act of friendship i am profoundly grateful. as i pointed out, after almost thirty two years of being alive i have a small group of friends in my daily world, and i dont mind because i am a solitary person in many ways, but i have a hard time making and keeping friends (you see how much time for others you have when you have a wife and kids) so any new friends i get are rare and wonderful thing for me.
so when i meet another person that actually likes me, and goes out of their way to help get through the mess that is life i feel small and undeserving.
thank you Edorian, the act of giving, of trying to bring some hope to me makes the book you sent me something i will treasure for a long time to come. i will start reading it tommorow, and hopefully the book i send back to you will be one that i have finally finnished writing.
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