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  #101  
bigtimecow bigtimecow is offline
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Old Nov 17th, 2009, 08:40 PM       
dude make me laugh for chrissakes plz this is awful
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  #102  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Nov 17th, 2009, 09:33 PM       
I came back at a good time for stories! Continue, prz.
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  #103  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Nov 17th, 2009, 09:43 PM       
Guys, george was right, this started off awful but it's getting better and soon it will be a real laugh . Trust in george, he won't let you down!
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  #104  
glowbelly glowbelly is offline
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Old Nov 19th, 2009, 01:47 AM       
love ya, georgie...and even though most of this isn't new to me, it's super cool to see it all written down in one place <3
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  #105  
george george is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 02:29 AM       
oh btw, when she went for Thanksgiving she took the car and left me and the kids home for the weekend. she left the fucking car AT HER BOYFRIENDS HOUSE

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS 2005

So, it's a week before Christmas. The last few years have been pretty shitty and this year I have saved up Working part time at Wendys --you know the FIRE IN THE HOLE videos that are on youtube of people throwing drinks back in drive thru windows? well me and this kid Demitrius were stealing chicken nuggets one night and some dude pulled up to the window and when this retarded bitch (i fucking hated this chic) handed him his soda the guy yelled "FUCK YOU BITCH" and drilled her with the drink. i laughed so hard i puked chicken nuggets, seriously one of the funniest things i have ever seen--- and at the American Legion, and hiding money from Nancy I had managed to save up $2500.00 for christmas presents.

now some of you fuckers might not think that is a lot of money, but to me it is. Seriously, my family was old time poor when i was a kid. i once got a Merlin for christmas:



and that was fucking ALL. i truly hate Christmas because when youre poor it is the one time of year you get feel like shit for having nothing AND get to feel like shit for being a bitch about having nothing (OOOH FUCKING BOY, i get the ever fucking eternal love of jesus again this year!).

i pulled my money out of the mason jar in the backyard and suprised Nancy with it. i was so fucking proud of myself. when i thought about her reaction i pretty much envisioned myself as a dog bringing home a rabbit. all bouncy and proud. i really wanted to impress her. i wanted her approval. like every abused person ever, i wanted my personal victimizer to see how wrong they were, come her senses, and love me.

and i offered to buy her jewlery. diamond earings. cause it had been a long time since she had gotten anything nice from me, and i felt bad about Erin, and I wanted to show up the asshole she had been running around with.

i wanted to be awsome.

and she said no thank you


gonna go smoke, more to come....
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  #106  
george george is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 04:00 AM       
Continued:

now, if i have not made it clear at this point Nancy is the most selfish person i have ever met. i can only express it like this:

one day nancy was driving me to work. she would drop me off just outside the gate of the base i worked at and i would have about a two mile walk to the "plant" that i worked at. this was because we lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere and she "needed" the car to drive the kids to the bus stop (the fact that her mother--thank god--would usually make a ten mile drive to our house, pick up the kids, and take them to school, and then pick them up, was NEVER a topic that was brought up). it was just after hurricane Katrina, and i mentioned how bad i felt for the people in New Orleans and Biloxi (a city i had lived in for about a year).

her response was:
fuck those ******s, they are getting 1,000 dollar gift cards and free trailers just because they were too fucking ignorant and lazy to move somewhere else. They are a bunch of free loading bastards, and that they don't deserve a fucking thing.

my response was:
but they were the most desperately poor people in America, that they endured horrors that no American should ever have to endure, and they had no money, or place to go.

her response was:
i'm poor! where's my free house, where's my free check?

this was a woman riding in a brand new car taking her husband to his high paying job so that she could go home and sleep while her mother spent her day doing her job of being a mother for her. that should pretty much sum it all up.

so when i offered to buy her jewlrey and she said no, my heart sank. i knew this woman. if it meant the kids didnt get a goddamn single christmas present and she could get diamond earings (that she had harped about getting for months) she would have left the kids high and dry. something awful was coming my way.

i decided that i would try for honesty. i asked Nancy if there was something going on that i should know about. i told her that she could tell me, be honest, and that we would settle our differences after the holidays. i told her i would be sad but that i would rather have her be honest than break my heart. in one of the most touching gestures that i had ever seen out of her she got on her hands and knees and sucked my dick (jk, she got on her hands and knees and swore that there was nothing going on and that she loved me with all her heart and that she would be good and faithful forever and ever, blah, blah, blah)

this is gonna be tricky so stick with me:

my mom has her christmas party the week before christmas. i have a bunch of brothers and a sister and it had always been really hard to get us all together on a regular basis, so it had become an annual event for us all.

i had to work a day shift at the American Legion.

A friend of mine had rented a local nightclub to throw a christmas party. Every person that i was friends with was invited. People i have been friends with since childhood were going to be there. it was going to be a party to remember.

nancy had to work a night shift at the American Legion.

So we traded. she took my day shift. i took her night shift. i would go to my parents house, the relieve her at the Legion. Nancy was going to ride to the party with some friends (a few girls we both knew). i would come to the party later that night when i closed the Legion (around midnight).

easy peasy.

i ran late returning from my parents house. when i got to the Legion nancy was furious. there were only a few people at the bar, and one got up and left when i came in. we quickly changed over the bar. Nancy said she was ready to go, and departed. i thought it was a little strange her friends did not come in, because these were girls i was well aquainted with, and usually they went out of their way to say hi when they were around cause i did not go out very often. i did not think much of it.

before long it was me and a guy named John. I fucking hated John. John was a guy who had spent his life pissing away a small fortune his parents had left him. his favorite thing to do was fuck with people he thought were lower than him and that was pretty much everyone. he would not let up. he was insulting and rude, and just kept pushing my nerves. i bent down to get him his upteenth shot of Rumplemints from the cooler, and while my head was in the cooler he said " I could kill you right now. "

i popped up like a fucking jack-in-the-box. he sounded pretty serious. i thought that i was about to die, that this drunk POS asshole was going to kill me in the shitty old American Legion. He got a big laugh off my reaction. i told him to get the fuck out. he refused.

i calmly walked around the bar. got him in a headlock, drug him out the door, and locked it behind him. he stood outside screaming how he was going to have me fired, i was an asshole, blah, blah, blah.

i decided i did not give a shit if i was fired. i closed the bar. i decided to go to the party early. i had not been out in awhile. i was looking forward to seeing my friends.

when i came into the party it was packed. literally every person i knew was there. every fucking one of them.

have you ever had the feeling everyone was watching you?

that every person in a room was looking? that all conversation ceased when you came into the room. that even though the music was playing there was deadly silence underneath it, and when the song ended you would get that crazy ringing sound that is so awsome after listening to Tool at far too many decibles?

i walked the room and i felt like i was being stalked. i looked for Nancy and her friends and there was no sign of them. i wandered. i thought maybe they had gone outside to get high. i wandered. and looked out at the dance floor.

and there on the dance floor was my wife. she had her back to the dude who had left the American Legion they were making out. he had his hands on her tits (in the insane clarity of the moment i could clearly see he was pinching her nipples). she was grinding her ass back into him.

the whole place had been watching me. she knew i was going to be there eventually. she knew that everyone would be laughing at me behind my back when i got there. she had fooled me once again.

i walked up to her an her friend and said, " are you two having fun?"

they opened their eyes at the same time. he screamed like a little girl and ran away.

she looked at me for a second and pointed to my wristband and said, "you didnt have to pay to get in."
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  #107  
Terra Terra is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 10:50 AM       
I would love to ass fist Nance.
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  #108  
WhiteRat WhiteRat is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 10:53 AM       
Quote:
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I would love to ass fist Nance.
You can't turn a ho into a housewife.
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  #109  
captain516 captain516 is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 11:44 AM       
Oh man. please tell me you strangled her.
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  #110  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 12:42 PM       
George. have you ever had a job at a foundry? They have huge ovens that get up to 4k degrees you know. Just saying.
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  #111  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 12:45 PM       
I was disappointed when you said you were just kidding about her sucking your dick. You deserved at least that much.
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  #112  
bigtimecow bigtimecow is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 12:55 PM       
signature'd
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  #113  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 12:59 PM       
I'm completely serious when I say this; living well is the best revenge. The only way that you can win again someone so repugnant is to leave them alone to destroy themselves and get away from them if they try and come after you.

She'll kill herself one day, whether it be a conscious bullet or a completely unforeseen consequence of her lifestyle like a football liver. Don't worry about it.
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  #114  
Sam Sam is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 01:41 PM       
goddamnit BTC I was going to put that in a sig
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  #115  
glowbelly glowbelly is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 03:02 PM       
i hate this woman so fuckin much. i hope she stops by here and throws a fit in this thread. that would be hilarious.
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  #116  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 03:04 PM       
Like you'll ever be back around to see it.
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  #117  
glowbelly glowbelly is offline
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 03:29 PM       
quit your snifflin. i'm around when i feel like it.
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  #118  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Nov 20th, 2009, 05:55 PM       
[... still waiting for the other shoe ...]

Keep it going, george, this is great stuff!

BTW, Nancy = Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's "It". Squirt battery acid at the bitch.
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  #119  
george george is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 12:04 PM       
OMG if nancy saw this thread she would have a fit.

we had an argument the other day about thanksgiving. please try and take one guess why it is a holiday that me and the kids exclude her from.

so, her current BF decided she could not go with him to his parents house for thanksgiving so she decided to latch onto our plans and go with us to MY SISTERS house for the holiday. when i told her that wasnt gonna happen she said she would just come anyway

and she said it was all my fault that she was all alone for thanksgiving, what a tard
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  #120  
Terra Terra is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 07:38 PM       
Did Nancy used to post here??
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  #121  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 07:48 PM       
yeah, under 'Nancy'. iirc i made her avatar

the account isn't here anymore, though, unless the name got changed
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  #122  
stevetothepast stevetothepast is offline
Esq.
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 07:50 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by george View Post
OMG if nancy saw this thread she would have a fit.

we had an argument the other day about thanksgiving. please try and take one guess why it is a holiday that me and the kids exclude her from.

so, her current BF decided she could not go with him to his parents house for thanksgiving so she decided to latch onto our plans and go with us to MY SISTERS house for the holiday. when i told her that wasnt gonna happen she said she would just come anyway

and she said it was all my fault that she was all alone for thanksgiving, what a tard
tell her to fuck off george.
you'll be thankful that you did.
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  #123  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 10:09 PM       
I wouldn't bring her, she might try to have sex with someone in front of your sister.
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  #124  
Sacks Sacks is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 10:29 PM       
Or pee all over everything.
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  #125  
Nick Nick is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 11:04 PM       
Or both.
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