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  #126  
george george is offline
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Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 12:25 AM       
oh, she is not coming. she does this all thi time.

ha. pretty sure i am going to have some news on the love front that will truly piss her off!!! 38 year old bitch ex wife meet 23 year old artist sweetheart gf (??????) just maybe i will have the closure for this story.

i will try to do more of this monday night, i was up all night in happy town (1 shift drink became 10, and i amused my coworkers by getting old ladies to dance all dirty with me) and i worked all day today, and work all day tomorrow. but business is picking up at work and life just may be getting good for once and all.
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  #127  
bigtimecow bigtimecow is offline
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Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 06:01 PM       
DUDE UPDATE COME ON WHAT THE FUCK
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  #128  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Nov 24th, 2009, 03:02 AM       
I'm pretty sure getting closure on this is the only reason i've been checking these forums lately.
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  #129  
Carnivore Carnivore is offline
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Old Nov 24th, 2009, 09:27 AM       
It's increased my lurking 1000-fold!
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  #130  
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Old Nov 26th, 2009, 12:44 PM       
I hope there's a big update after Thanksgiving.
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  #131  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Nov 26th, 2009, 06:07 PM       
Yeah, there needs to be an update

Nice foreshadowing on what a bitch she was though when you mentioned she said she would divorce you if you took that commission to the Marines. A loving wife would have supported you (Like my mother did for my father when he served). While a bitch would have.... well you lived the story, so I don't need to tell you.

Thank you for your service by the way.

Jesus I hope this has an uber happy ending, you deserve one after all that
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  #132  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Nov 26th, 2009, 06:12 PM       
HAPPY TG GEORGE!
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  #133  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Nov 26th, 2009, 06:14 PM       
Also, best quote about divorce (one that dragged on for years, and it still hadn't been finalized yet) that I have ever heard...

"If I had killed her, I would have just finished serving my time by now"
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  #134  
Nick Nick is offline
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Old Nov 28th, 2009, 08:47 PM       
Nancy found out about this and knifed him good.
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  #136  
Carnivore Carnivore is offline
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Old Nov 30th, 2009, 04:45 PM       
Season one is over. They're filming season two now.
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  #137  
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Old Nov 30th, 2009, 04:56 PM       
I was promised a Thanksgiving special.
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  #139  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Dec 1st, 2009, 11:12 AM       
Ffffuuuuuuuu
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  #140  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Dec 1st, 2009, 11:40 AM       
I hope she didnt shoot him or anything.
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  #141  
george george is offline
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Old Dec 2nd, 2009, 09:05 AM       
i am all ok!!! i have been super busy is all. me and the kids spent the weekend doing all sorts of fun things, and it has been all doubles at work (including today) i am off tomorrow (thurs) and i promise i will finnish this whole thing then.

and since i decided that this is the very last time i am going to tell this story i guess life decided to bring all the sad things to an end. you'll see what i mean.

thank you for your patience.
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  #142  
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Old Dec 2nd, 2009, 09:53 AM       
I'm only waiting somewhat patiently until I hear the end of it ;<
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  #144  
george george is offline
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Old Dec 3rd, 2009, 03:39 PM       
Aftermath: part 1

what do you do when you are upset? i am pretty sure most people would have slapped Nancy, chased that guy outside and kicked his ass. i just stood there. i just stood there and thought about the day i fell in love with Nancy.

i was working at Ames. Ames was a shittier version of KMart, and at this point in time no one had even heard of Wal-Mart in the north east. i loved my job. i had just moved back to MD from Mississippi, was having sex with the girl who worked in the she department (she was a Ms Maryland contestant) at least once a day while on the clock, and had reached legendary status in pissing my boss off. i would take a Talking Pee Wee Herman Doll:



then turn on the PA system for the store, pull the string, and blare Pee Wee through the whole place. The manager could never catch me doing it, and my co-workers hated him so much that no one would rat me out. The bane of my existence at Ames was getting shopping carts.

Now a days they have those little carts that they use to assist pushing the carts through the store. I hate those fucking things. In my day the carts were made of metal, all had bad wheels, and there was no happy ass cart corral to park the carts in. I would have to walk the whole parking lot to gather the carts, then push those heavy fucking things back into the store. to this day i will not put a cart into one of those cart corrals, fuck those lazy bastards and the assisted pushing of plastic shopping carts.

so, to pass the time i would sing songs while i gathered carts. i would sing metallica, i would sing aerosmith, i would sing skynyrd, GNR, and i would rap. Nancy and i went to church together as kids. one day we were working as voluteers at a church dinner and we snuck out to the parking lot and made out for most of the night--she was the first girl i ever made out with--and then promptly never saw her again until a very hot june day in 1998. i was rapping Public Enemies now classic "Don't Believe the Hype" and pushing ever fucking shopping carts. and a sweet voice behind me said "Hi"

I turned around and met my doom. Big brown eyes, long brown hair, and a beautiful smile. i was smitten. they say you know the moment you meet somone if you are ever going to be in love, and i would have said that it was bullshit until that moment. After that moment i knew i would have followed Nancy to hell if she asked (and she did), and done it smiling (and i did).

For the next seventeen years we went through the wars together. through good and bad, through everything i have told you so far (and a million that are just too personal) i always believed that our pathes would lead us back to being the two people who instantly fell in love because she liked the fact that i would sing in my awful voice and be unafraid of who heard, and because in my soul i believed that she heard the truth and understood.

I stood there and i thought as i had so many times about that girl i loved so much. i thought about the redemption that time would give to us both. all those days in our future when the fires had grown low and we had come to the end and watched the world burn together and the power of all that time had overcome the momentary hardships and pain and smoothed it all out into a story we could both be proud of.

i thought about all of that and went out to my car to get my gun.

ok, brb gotta pee.
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  #145  
george george is offline
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Old Dec 3rd, 2009, 04:42 PM       
Aftermath p.1 continued:

I didn't really have a gun. I wish I did. It would have made a better story, and at times i have told this to people for dramatic effect. here are some lies about myself that i have perpetuated in my lifetime that make me happy:

1. I have a tattoo on the inside of my wrist. i tell people it is the chinese symbol for monkey. i think i have only told like five people what it really means because explaining the real meaning would take too long and be too personal. the story of how i got this tattoo goes like this:

For Zoe's 14 birthday Nancy and I took Zoe to get her eyebrow pierced. The guy that was going to do the piercing was a family friend, had pierced both my and Nancy's eyebrows and ran a successfull tattoo shop until he died recently from the same type of blood infection that killed Bernie Mac.

So the guy swabbed Zoe's eyebrow, placed the clamp, and promptly pierced a vein. After a few seconds of hurried activity the guy turns to me and says "i'm so sorry, i did not check for a vein, i did both of yours, you should have told me you were not her father!"

calmly i replied, "i am her father."

He gave me the universal look that people give when they know that they have just gotten themselves into a conversation they don't want to have. he did not want to explain genetics to someone who was not going to listen, much less shatter the emotions of a young girl and her father(?). Instead he told us to go wait in the lobby to make sure that Zoe wasn't gonna be all fucked up from damage to that vein.

to distract ourselves from the great truth that we had just learned (although i have yet to find anything definitive confirming that vein placement has anything to do with genetics like eye color does) zoe and I started looking through tattoo books. she wanted to get one (and it was fine by me) but her mom would not let her. instead she picked one out for me: the chinese symbol for monkey.

i love that story.

2. I have met Justin Timberlake. Tuesday and I started this lie and tell it whenever we get the chance. this lie went so far that we faked JT's signature on a poster, and got a bday cake for T that said "love you T, from JT" anytime anyone tells us how they met someone famous, we double team them with our account of how we met JT:

We were bored one day and listening to 99.5, the local Pop music station. We called in to the station to request a song and just happened to win a contest, out of sheer luck. we got free tickets to his show and to meet JT backstage.

instead of being the dousche we expected him to be, JT turned out to be an awsome guy. Instead of just hanging out for a few minutes, we hung out together all afternoon. JT bought us pizza, and we all became great friends.

we will dogpile more and more onto this story until whoever we are lying to gets mad or decides to call us on it. it is great fun, and really great on those pompous people who like to name drop.

Since this the last time i will tell this story i will carry on with the truth. i went out to my car and started crying. i cried like a big fat bitch of a baby. i saw the future i hoped for go up in smoke. the life i suffered for, endured for, dreamed of, worked for, my whole vision of the purpose of my life, my reward for it was gone.

my shinning vision of the future had turned into a great void of nothing in the space of a day. to say i was hurt is not even right. she had killed me. the person i was right up until that moment was gone completely. sitting in the shitty parking lot, of a shitty nightclub in southern maryland i died and was wiped clean. nothing mattered.

then my cell phone rang. it was zoe. she wanted to know when i was going to come home. she wanted to make cookies, wanted me there because she and the other kids loved me and needed me.

so i went back into the club, and called the doorman over. they would not let me back in. they were afraid i was gonna start trouble. i told them that the bitch had my money, that she could go fuck the russian army for all i cared but that if she didn't give me my christmas money right fucking now i was going to go an epic level of apeshit on everyone in the place.

they drug her over, and she gave me my cash. i told her not to come home ever again. it was all over, and i never wanted to see her again.

i went home and made cookies with the kids. we had a good time.

i did not see Nancy again until Christmas Eve.
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  #146  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Dec 3rd, 2009, 04:57 PM       
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Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
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  #147  
bigtimecow bigtimecow is offline
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Old Dec 3rd, 2009, 05:37 PM       
duuuuuuuuuuuuuude
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  #148  
Nick Nick is offline
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Old Dec 3rd, 2009, 06:00 PM       
I love this story.
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  #149  
george george is offline
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Old Dec 3rd, 2009, 06:05 PM       
Christmas

i spent the next week in a daze. this is to be expected, but when your job requires you to pour straight nitro glycerine into a mixer already filled with nitro cellulose and ether being out of your mind is a really bad thing. i would forget what i was doing, or why i was doing it. if not activly engaged in talking to another person my mind would wander off into the white static of nothing. one thought kept popping up:

you deserve this for sleeping with Erin. this is your punishment. this is your atonement. this is your chance to come clean and get the weight of the whole thing off your chest. i could trade evils with Nancy, we could be mad and then find common ground again.

sigh.

So when Nancy turned up on Christmas Eve i was feeling pretty happy. we talked for awhile. she apologized. i accepted. and instead of coming clean about Erin, i begged her to take me back. on my hands and knees i begged her. i dont think i really wanted her back. i think i just wanted to make the end on my terms instead of the tawdry scene that had occured.

she accepted. told me that she had dumped Jason after he ran away on her, realizing what a dousche he was. i was prett stoked about the whole thing. here was the answer to the whole thing, not a great one, but an answer.

we spent christmas eve together. we had fun christmas morning together. later that day Zoe came to me. she had nancy's cell phone in her hand. and she had been reading a string of txt messages Nancy had been trading with Jason. the last one came in just as Z was gonna send me a txt (zoe is good at getting txt while sending, we do it to each other all the time): I WLL B THR TO GET YOU AT 9:00.

there were a lot of texts. some about fucking, some about being in love, and a bunch about what an asshole i was for taking her seriously about getting back together. Zoe was crying as she watched me read the txt. i closed the phone, hugged zoe, and then went to find Nancy.

i handed her the phone and asked her what was up. why wouldnt she just be honest? why keep lying? WHY?????

she just looked at me. in a steady voice she said " I am in love with him, you have to understand that it is over between us, i just wanted to be with the kids for Christmas."

and out the door she went. i would not see her again for a week.

it was all over. any hope for our future was gone.

cheating for sex you can get over.

BUT SHE FUCKING LOVED SOMEONE ELSE. and for the second time in a week i sat and cried. then the girls came in my room, sat on the bed with me, put their arms around me and hugged me until i pulled myself together.
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  #150  
Nick Nick is offline
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Old Dec 3rd, 2009, 06:25 PM       
Aw mayun.
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