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Antagonistic Tyrannosaur
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The Abstruse Caboose
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Jul 17th, 2004, 09:53 PM
Scav hunt items
So, one of the highest honors that exists in my school is holding the position of Scav Hunt Judge. Part of the selection process requires the submission of thirty item ideas. Mine as of yet are as follows. I need nine more. Help please.
1) I told you “never trust a monkey!” One Scavie must hand in an assigned paper to her professor with nothing but the following written on it: “Hello! My name is Bingo! I like to climb on things! Can I have a banana? Eek eek.” Points will be awarded only if an F is received for the work.
2) Engels-hair pasta.
3) String Theory cheese.
4) Bearded clam chowder.
5) As Atkins would like us to be aware, man cannot live on bread alone. It’s a carb thing, you know. Let’s take it the next step up: one scavie must abstain from all sustenance for the duration of the hunt with the exception of refined sugar and Kool-Aid. Double points if said scavie is a certified diabetic.
6) A hospital document diagnosing a genuine case of Kuru or Koro.
7) A Hello Kitty vibrator.
8) Names can be deceiving. Bring an English muffin from England, and French toast from France. Customs declarations will be helpful.
9) Prepare a single dish that would suit the palates of Hannibal of Carthage, Hannibal Hamlin, and Hannibal Lecter.
10) Sixteen candles down the drain.
11) An Esperanto-Klingon mini-lexicon of at least seventy terms and phrases. Additional points will be rewarded for each translation a designated scavie can recite by memory from the list.
12) Hemlock and Load: a rock opera about Socrates’ last days.
13) The term “Munchkin Porn” on the U of C front page, linking to your team’s website.
14) If U of C students can split the atom, surely they can clone a human being. Even better, they can clone a former United States president.
15) William Howard Shaft, the baddest motha to ever get stuck in the Whitehouse bathtub.
16) Donate plasma. That is, the fourth state of matter.
17) Reintroduce the American Bison into the Illinois habitat. Lincoln Park would be a good place to start.
18) A Hebrew-speaking scrod.
19) Light versus darkness, good versus evil, nutrition versus good taste. Display a recreation the eschatological battle between the Keebler elven armies and the Jolly Green Giant.
20) So, has Satan given YOU a taco? A complete meal from Taco Hell.
21) A pontifical response to a petition to the Vatican to add Wesley Willis to the calendar of saints.
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SETH ME IMPRIMI FECIT
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