Reality Shows Starring People No One Cares About

[Kitsa]

...or maybe everyone cares about them but me, and can explain to me why I should.

Is it the "love to hate" factor? If so, why do we stress ourselves out like that? I mean, show after show about brats with an overinflated sense of entitlement.

I've always hated My Super-Sweet 16. People over, say, 20 will realize that these girls are laughingstocks, but in my eyes the show is dangerous. For every 20- or 30-something laughing at these silly girls, there are probably ten or twelve adolescents watching with big eyes, making plans.

I've always hated it when kids try to parlay their parents' success into their own right to enforce some sort of social hierarchy. I've seen children of executives and physicians be rude to grownup "subordinates" because they assume they have the right, as in "Don't you know who my daddy is?" I don't think there's any excuse for that, and it makes me wince when these 15 year old girls treat party-planning professionals and others like garbage because they're (read: Daddy's) so important and it's THEIR day. From the $8,000 "grand entrance" dresses to the $50,000 rapper guest appearances and the ubiquitous BMW as a demanded gift, the whole show is garbage to me.

Most hateful teenager yet: a girl (some sort of pop star, I'd never heard of her) who whined that she didn't love her new puppy because its face was too dark. She literally wouldn't have a thing to do with it until a stylist made a housecall to add "lowlights" to the poor dog's face. Sure enough, the minute the puppy had endured this, the girl squealed, "Oh, I love him now!" and lavished affection on it.

Then there are these shows like the one about the Carter family (who?) and, more recently and evilly, Keeping Up With the Kardashians. As Joel McHale of The Soup (same network, oddly) says, "Kim Kardashian, famous for having a big ass and a sex tape." And as far as I can see, that's about all she's got going. And the "dead behind the eyes sisters" (quoting Joel McHale again)...I don't know what their thing is. All this genre ever shows is transitory celebrities lolling around their sprawling homes, having pointless squabbles and living out various frivolous, moneyed fantasies.

How many overpaid LA-types do we really need to watch hanging around, gossiping, drinking coffee drinks and calling each other to discuss whatever nonevent has top priority in their lives at the moment?

Then there are all of the "wedding" shows. There's Bridezillas (of the obnoxious voiceover), in which grown women who should know better reenact the Sweet 16 crap. There are the lesser bridal shows, about fat brides and rich brides and wedding planners. I actually enjoyed the "Redneck Weddings" show until the whole thing started looking suspiciously staged. Does every redneck bride wear camo?

There are shows about prima-donna hairdressers and pet groomers. There are shows about wannabe models and wannabe chefs. There are even shows about wannabe venereal disease recipients (see Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Rock of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila).
Remember Paradise Hotel, where the object was to "hook up" with as many people as possible? Gross.

There are those Bachelor shows and their bastard ripoffs like Joe Millionaire. Remember how stupid that one was, all these girls fighting over the money they thought this guy had.

I'm not even going to go into the home renovation shows beccause I can't stand to watch them. Prima donna real estate agents? Really?

I'm also not going into Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, the Marie Antoinette and Princesse de Lamballe of our day. Actually, that's not really being fair to the Princesse de Lamballe, who was a goodish sort of girl, but what I mean is that it's a wonder they weren't being hoisted on pikes at the height of that whole thing.

I know networks seize on these reality shows because they're cheap to produce...hey, no writers needed! But really, there are so many now. There are more unscripted shows out there than scripted, I think, and it's only going to get worse.

Oh. By the way. Hogan Knows Best...what the hell was with that?

[darkvare]

in my opinion reality shows are indeed made to avoid hiring writers but most importantly to give people the chance to see "real" peopple in stressful situations or suffer in some way or another.

i think it all began with the amazing videos show that showed people having awfull accidents.

in the end they are here to stay cause of low costs and how easy is to get people on thesse just look at the number of people that go to take auditions in american idol

[Kitsa]

We recently had a local "audition" for Deal or No Deal at a tiny area mall. It was embarrassing how nuts people went. I mean, people at my dad's and boyfriend's places of employment were taking days off just to stand in line. It was the biggest thing on the news, and they were doing remotes with camera-pans down the line of yokels going "I'm on TV, hurr-hurr-hurr, WHOOOO!" And then they had this line of local high-school girls in Sears prom dresses, pretending to be the Deal or No Deal girls, only one must have gotten there late and they didn't give her a matching dress. So you have ten or so very, uh, local-looking high-school girls in shitty burgundy ballgowns and one girl in a shitty almost-burgundy, ill-fitting cocktail dress. And they couldn't find matching suitcases, so they had ersatz ones from the mall CD store...you know those CD cases that are shaped like suitcases? Oh, it was so sad.

The line was a maze that went throughout the mall and out into the parking lot.

What I couldn't figure out was, why were they at some dinky suburban Midwestern mall looking for people? I mean, I can understand getting contestants from around the country, but yeesh, there's a big city 15 minutes south with three HUGE malls and a more...photogenic...populace.

They never said whether they picked a contestant or not. I'm kind of thinking maybe it was just some huge publicity stunt.

I imagine the American Idol auditions are way worse. You've got 5% aspirants with talent, 70% aspirants who think they have talent, and 25% wacko yahoos who just want to get on TV. And with the first few weeks of American Idol being a cavalcade of freaks these days, they actually stand a chance.

[LordSappington]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

People over, say, 20 will realize that these girls are laughingstocks,

Ha, I'm 16 and they make me wince. This is why America needs population control bears.
Oh, and Big Brother. What's that show even about, anyways? All I can figure out is there's a bunch of dumbass chicks who fight with each other a lot, and the guys are either dumb jocks or smart, edgy wimps. Damn that show.

[Kitsa]

You know...I think this whole craptrain started even before Survivor. It all got out of hand with The Real World and Road Rules (which also pretty much heralded the downfall of MTV). I think all of the Big Brother-esque shows launched off of those, the whole "stupid horny twentysomethings stuck in a group housing situation" thing.

[LordSappington]

Do they even do anything horny-like? I just see them all as dumb asswipes.

[Kitsa]

I don't watch them, but on the odd clip show (I do watch, and greatly enjoy, The Soup), I'm always seeing some dumb bitch crying in a bathroom over betrayal by one of the house guys, or this and that random one in bed together. They might have eased up on it recently for all I know, but it used to be really bad. It was one of the main things I hated about those shows...they seemed to promote sluttiness and getting with as many of the other housemates as possible.

[Fathom Zero]

http://www.vh1.com/shows/series/dice...ed/soundboard/

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I blame the u.s. economy on shows like these. A lot of these shows are broadcast throughout the rest of the world which makes us "normies" look highly superficial. I eventully plan on having a daughter down the road and I understand the 16th birthday is really important....but come on. They don't need a solid gold pink colored cadillac limo(I'm sure they make those) to take them to their super-duper sweet 16 pre-party at NASA only to be blasted off to the moon for the real party to begin.

I know that's kind of rantful but you get the idea.

[Kitsa]

It's not too far off...you should have seen the brat who was completely incensed that she couldn't land Daddy's private plane on the front steps of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for her big entrance. She threw a huge fit when she found out the plane would have to land at an actual airport and she'd have to arrive via motorcycle motorcade instead.

Her Daddy was a minister. With a mansion, and a private plane, and oodles of money to drop on his daughter's sweet 16 at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (do you know how much it costs just to get in there for one person/one afternoon?). Something way wrong there.

I did get a laugh when Daddy last-minute subbed in a Christian rapper for Fifty Cent, or whoever they were expecting. You could have heard a pin drop in that room. The girl was trying to mitigate the damage...."That's aight, that's aight, they'll love him once they realize how good he is"...I don't know if they ever "realized", lol

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

I did get a laugh when Daddy last-minute subbed in a Christian rapper for Fifty Cent, or whoever they were expecting. You could have heard a pin drop in that room.

I guess she can at least tell people her father is Trick Daddy.

Seriously though, I think it's an arm and a leg just to get into the R&R hall of fame.

I'm glad people are being so wasteful. In 50 years Super sweet 16 is going to show a girl being driven to the party because her parents splurged and bought GAS. Meanwhile everyone else got to walk.

[Kitsa]

Adult tickets are $22 now, and they grab your money at every turn. When I went (pilgrimage to see the Ramones display*), they allowed no coats, no backpacks, no photography. Had to check everything- for a price, of course. The hall of fame is a big pyramid, you go to the top and come right down into the gift shop. Very Disney of them.

When I went, I crunched numbers and bought a $50 membership. For that, I think I got 2 free tickets and a t shirt, so it was worth it.

So, uh...$22 a pop...this girl had at LEAST 300 people at her party, looked like.

* I count it as utter BS that the whole reason I went was for that one tiny display case (and not for the Dresses of Diana Ross, on display upstairs) and I couldn't even take a frigging picture in front of it.

[LordSappington]

Yeahhh, if my daughter ever acted like that she'd be at military school the next day. They can sweat the bitch out of her.

[Kitsa]

The ones I think are really obnoxious are the girls who think their parties are SO important to the rest of the world that all the other kids are clamoring for invitations. They have "extra" invites and make kids do stupid stunts to get them (have a dance contest, jump in the ocean and retrieve them, etc). The tragic thing is that some poor schmucks actually do it and act like they just won the lottery. It's pathetic.

In my elementary school there was this uber-bitch named Wendy who would send her minions around the playground telling girls they were pretty and Wendy wanted them to hang out with her. The girls would show up, Wendy would browse them like a selection of inferior merchandise, make a "shoo-shoo" motion with her hands and say "Go away."

I get Wendy flashbacks when I see these girls do that.

Not to mention, every girl seems to feel the need to go apeshit over people who might be crashing HER party. She squawks and flaps at the hired bouncers, "I didn't invite them, I didn't invite them, this is MY PARTY, get them out!"

Now, this girl is having a party in excess of, say, $250,000 thrown for her, plus a new humvee or whatever, and all she's worried about is someone from a lower caste getting too near her aura of privilege and glory? I mean, what the hell kind of begrudger bitch is she? I'd just let them party or whatever, who cares. Like anyone is going to notice.

[darkvare]

Originally Posted by LordSappington

Yeahhh, if my daughter ever acted like that she'd be at military school the next day. They can sweat the bitch out of her.

wait so you are sixteen and have a daughter? or am i missing something

[Fat_Hippo]

If his hypothetical daughter ever acted like that, he means. The daughter he may one day have.

And yes, it's absolutely revolting. All of it. Reality shows (though I once saw 5 minutes of Hogan knows Best and almost laughed my ass off because of the sheer stupidity) and spoiled brats, and when you put it together, well...

[Kitsa]

I guess Hogan Knows Best is technically overentitled Florida folk, not California (even though he was referring to himself as "Hollywood Hogan" and wore ridiculous painted-on stubble for a while). I actually found professional wrestling hysterical when I was younger and watched it often (I thought Miss Elizabeth in the prom dress with the perpetual damsel-in-distress thing was great). That's the only reason I gave Hogan Knows Best a chance.

But no, more lolling around the palatial estate, whining and plotting and working to advance the daughter's singing career. The whole thing was a blatant move to advance the daughter, who is trying to break into a genre that (in my opinion) she's not really suited for, physically or vocally. And then the son, with all his cars, and him getting in trouble with no appreciation of the whole "obey the law" concept...well, it was just more of the same, really.

Have you noticed that anyone over 35 on any of these shows (usually the "mom") seems to have a closetful of terrycloth jogging suits and dangle earrings? It's like the uniform or something.

And I swear Bruce Jenner is wearing makeup on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

[Kitsa]

Just tacking this on as I'm seeing "Girls Next Door". That's some sad-ass Gatsby shit right there. All of those parties, especially the theme parties, look so forced and uncomfortable. I remember reading in Linda Lovelace's "Ordeal" about how people would hang around at the mansion, eat his food, drink his booze, party, then get the hell out of there when they were trying to round up people for Orgy Night. Of course I don't know how true that is, or isn't...one side's dead and the other isn't talking.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Bunch a crumbums I tells ya