Features

Colonel Flagg · #2

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim

THAT! WAS! AWESOME!!!

Pentegarn · #3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim

So funny it gets quoted twice

executioneer · #4

i'm so stealing that

Zhukov · #5

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-17013987

Witnesses said a motorcyclist placed a device on an embassy car in Delhi, causing a blast that hurt four people - one seriously. A bomb underneath a diplomat's car in Tbilisi was defused.

"Iran is behind these attacks and it is the largest terror exporter in the world," [Israeli leader Benjamin Netanyahu] said.

But Iranian officials denied the claims as "sheer lies".

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So, my first thought is that a war with Iran is now a little more likely, as I had previously thought that there was no way it would occur. My second thought is that even though the Iranian government is probably not to be trusted, why would anyone believe anything the Israeli government said, ever?

In fact, I think they are more likely to be responsible for this themselves than the Iranians, as they have a track record when it comes to car bomb assassination as well as false flag attacks

Zhukov · #6

Related recent history:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012...lear-scientist

An Iranian university professor working at a key nuclear facility has been killed in a bomb explosion, the latest in a series of assassinations and attempted killings linked by the country's authorities to a secret war by Israel...

Mostafa Ahmadi Roshan, 32, a chemistry expert and a director of the Natanz uranium enrichment plant in central Iran, died after two assailants on a motorcycle attached magnetic bombs to his car, according to the semi-official Fars news agency.

Israeli officials have previously hinted about covert campaigns against Iran without directly admitting involvement.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/1..._n_789018.html

Iran Bomb Blast Kills Nuclear Scientist Majid Shahriari In Tehran.

The two bomb attacks occurred when assailants on motorcycles attached magnetized bombs to the cars of two nuclear scientists as they drove to work in separate parts of the capital Monday morning. They detonated seconds later, killing one scientist, wounding another and wounding each of their wives, who were in the cars, Tehran's police chief said.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news...-1225818621514

Professor Mohammadi, a lecturer in nuclear energy at Tehran University, died when a bomb strapped to a motorcycle was triggered by remote control outside his home in the northern Tehran neighbourhood of Qeytariyeh.

Zhukov · #7

Let's also not forget the Lavon Affair, which is a good example of why Israel is not to be trusted, and also shows that they are willing to target their supposed allies for political gain, and not feel any remorse.

In summary; I would be very surprised if Israel was in fact not responsible for this most recent attack in India and Georgia.

executioneer · #8

they say that one time he tried to eat... ENOUGH chocolate

10,000 Volt Ghost · #9

thats good soup

Evil Robot II · #10

It would be funnier if it said 1941-2010

Colonel Flagg · #11

They should play a somber arrangement of "I'm so lonely" during the funeral.

Kitsa · #12

So there was this guy in Kouts, IN (that's pronounced COW-ts, not "coots" like they're saying on the radio), near where I used to live, who was arrested on drug charges and proceeded to steal the police car.

Then he radioed the police station to ask where the cigarette lighter and handcuff keys were.

Idiot.

Pentegarn · #13

For Colonel:

I can't wait to hear about the stolen cop car on Bizarre Files

Colonel Flagg · #14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn

I can't wait to hear about the stolen cop car on Bizarre Files

10,000 Volt Ghost · #15

Quote:

Originally Posted by THEONION

January 26, 2012

Internet Against SOPA, PIPA
Last week, several websites, including Google and Wikipedia, raised awareness of the prohibitive measures included in the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA). Here are some of the legislation's controversial provisions:

Music review sites can only allude to a song's title and content in vague terms
All pirated material available only at the Commerce Department's new site, Torrent.gov
Government will actively encourage people to download only public-domain music, such as Pipey Lester's "That Cat's a-Mewing!" or Ukulele Ted's "Nickel For Your Hat"
Denies future generations the ability to watch hilarious scene from Dirty Work where Chris Farley yells at the Asian hooker anytime, free of charge, which is a fundamental right of being an American
Does absolutely nothing to get rid of goddamn Lolcats
Makes the MPAA and RIAA feel better, which, if you have any shred of a soul, causes pure rage to swell through your very being
Any person suspected of Photoshopping bill sponsor Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX) in an unflattering manner shall be subject to a minimum sentence of two months in prison; sentence will be increased by an additional two months if MS Paint is used
No longer legal to steal Ryan Gosling's credit card information

Spot on.

Colonel Flagg · #16

Somehow, The Onion speaks for all of us.

Evil Robot II · #17

EWNSFLASH!!!1
EVIL ROBOT RULES

Colonel Flagg · #18

Whitney Houston is dead at 48.

Even though it's not really shocking (drug use, self-destructive behavior, etc.), it did take me by surprise. Awfully young to meet your maker. 4 years younger than myself.

LutiiChell · #19

Do not post anything with a religious or political character. This includes everything - news, reviews, gossip, discussion, opinion and everything else under the sun.Violators will be infracted. Repeat violators will be banned.

Esuohlim · #20

Quote:

Originally Posted by LutiiChell

Do not post anything with a religious or political character. This includes everything - news, reviews, gossip, discussion, opinion and everything else under the sun.Violators will be infracted. Repeat violators will be banned.

fuck, we better run