Jul 8th, 2008, 07:46 AM
Well, I saw it for free at a prerelease night with some friends. My first clue that it was going to be a stinker was when, after looking at the bullet in the beginning under an old Sherlock Holmes style magnifying glass for about two seconds, the random Indian woman declared it to be 'Untraceable'. Right. No chemical analysis, or anything. 3X magnification can tell me that.
But then, when the guy ran down the hallway and leapt through the office window FACE FIRST, I just almost fell out of my seat laughing. Why? Why in the world would you do that face first? Even if you had crazy, poorly defined super powers, there's no reason to jump through a window face first.
Anyways, the movie took itself way too seriously for how incredibly stupid it was, and characters seemed to just do things because that's what the plot called for them to do. Like when the main character accepts that the LOOM OF FATE knows who he should kill.
Another question I have, and I don't know if anyone else thought of this, but we're told that A.) There are people who's heartrates go over 400 BPM and thus they have super powers that don't make logical sense, and B.) An ancient sect of weavers somehow discovered that a loom that ran itself produced names in binary code and that those people should die for some reason. But we're never told what those two things have to do with one another.
I mean, even accepting the movies convoluted logic, how did these super high heart rate assassins end up tied together with the weavers? I understand the benefit the weavers would have of employing such people, but they never showed how they found out about them, or convinced them to work for them gratis.
Ah, another side note. Apparently his father was rich (you assume), but they kill people based on what a Loom tells them to do so... Does the Loom pay well?
And the Weavers finding out that they should kill the people the Loom mentions, didn't even bother explaining that when it would've taken about ten seconds. So we're left to assume that people find a device that magically produces names, and thus they decide to kill those people?
Gah... just thinking about all of that hurts my brain. I hated this movie. I'm glad I got a chance to see it for free to laugh at how absurd it was but otherwise it was awful.