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Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 12:20 PM        The President of Nigeria is Missing!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010...sident-missing




"The president is missing. The executive chair is empty, the in-tray overflowing, and 150 million people are crying out for leadership.
This is the crisis enveloping Nigeria, political rivals and activists say, as rumours swirl around the health of President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua, not seen in public for 45 days."


Not to worry, the VP's name is GOODLUCK JONATHAN. How can you go wrong with that?

Last edited by Kitsa : Jan 11th, 2010 at 12:35 PM. Reason: mo' better pic
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 12:43 PM       
He probably fell down a well or something.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 12:46 PM       
the VP looks a little sinister.



Kind of like someone cast Wesley Snipes in a Clockwork Orange remake.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 12:47 PM       
OH DAM! That dude is a roughneck!
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 12:54 PM       
Arsenio would've been good for the glasses, but the guy's too lighthearted and innocuous. Wesley's got that edge.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 02:18 PM       
That's the best photo they could get of him?

I like his facial expression, though. It is clearly informing the cameraman that if the camera isn't put away in three seconds, a presidential foot will be lodged so far up his ass that his teeth will be kicked out
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 02:22 PM       
The president or the VP? Because I could see that applying to either one.

Edit: I'm still seeing Snipes. Possibly with some clothing advice from Bernie Mac (RIP )

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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 02:25 PM       
From the 2 pictures, I can't decide which one scares me the most. The VP looks like he will kill you before you blink, but the Pres looks like he would try to keep you alive for maximum torture.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 02:37 PM       
I know someone from Nigeria and from the stories she's told me, that place is fucked up. Hardcore.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 02:39 PM       
Especially in District 9!
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 03:46 PM       
I bet he's involved in some funding scam too.
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Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 05:23 PM       
Remember when Lake Victoria stopped producing hydroelectric power because the THOUSANDS of bodies Idi Amin dumped in there were clogging the generators?

Yeah, I'm just picturing this being something like that.

Edit: Holy shit, I found erotic Idi Amin fanfic.

http://www.fivechapters.com/2009/my-life-with-idi-amin/
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 05:29 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsa View Post
The president or the VP? Because I could see that applying to either one.

Edit: I'm still seeing Snipes. Possibly with some clothing advice from Bernie Mac (RIP )

I wonder if he raps.
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Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 05:32 PM       
Not sure, but it's nice to know he's got his own version of Mein Kampf ready to go.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 06:30 PM       

HOLY SHIT
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 06:34 PM       
Perhaps Mr Goodluck ate the presidents brain in order to gain his spirit power.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 06:42 PM       
WESTSIDE
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 06:59 PM       
My friend used to tell me about just seeing lynchings in bus stations. Apparently it's not uncommon for people to just swarm pickpockets and kill them on the spot. She said usually what happens is they put a tire over them to pin their arms to their sides, then beat them and set them on fire. And that's just, like, business as usual there.

That was one of many colorful stories she told me about Nigeria.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 07:13 PM       
Are you a bad enough Dude to rescue the President?
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 07:17 PM       
they stuck pine cones up my anus and called me sweet cheeks. Those were hard times.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 07:52 PM       
I'm pretty sure my rich Nigerian family knows where he is. I'll ask them next time they email about my inheritance.
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 09:18 PM       
he probably is on vacations in a cool beach somewhere in the world
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Old Jan 11th, 2010, 10:16 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsa View Post
My friend used to tell me about just seeing lynchings in bus stations. Apparently it's not uncommon for people to just swarm pickpockets and kill them on the spot. She said usually what happens is they put a tire over them to pin their arms to their sides, then beat them and set them on fire. And that's just, like, business as usual there.

That was one of many colorful stories she told me about Nigeria.
This reminded me of the Onion. Go figure. 10 years old, but still relevant.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34159
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