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McClain McClain is offline
Fuck Yeah
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Hoosier
In light of his inevitable procurement of the democratic candidacy, I'd like to take this opportunity to summate a list of facts we have released.

• Obama is a radical Muslim who was sworn in to office using a Quran vice a Bible
• His church imprisons and tortures whites in a rectory-turned dungeon
• He's endorsed by the KKK
• He's funded by Hugo Chavez
• He fits the profile for the anti-Christ
• He lobbied to have the Duck Tales theme song changed to "Ducktales! (a-whooh ooh) America Sucks!"
• Half of his African family overdosed or are in jail
• He won't wear an American flag pin on his lapel because it clashes with is ebony zoot suit and suede shoes.
• He refuses to put his hand over his heart during the national anthem because the miniature ghost of Malcolm X lives in his ear and instructed him that doing so would alienate him from the armless American demographic
• He places euros in the offering plate
• He refuses to step foot in church because as soon as he crosses the threshold baby Malcolm X bites down on his tympanic membrane
• He speaks in the speaker and listens through the receiver
• He's the lovechild of Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson
• He hired a witch doctor to exorcise the Caucasian that burns within his flesh
• He tried to eat my baby at a press event
• His first wife, a Chechnyan dwarf named Bogdana, was arrested for distributing LSD from the trunk of her Yugo
• If you rearrange the letters his 2nd book is actually titled "You Acid Path Foe!"
• He doesn't subscribe to the fact that Jesus was white
• He said that the picture of the crying bald eagle superimposed with the twin towers in the background wasn't real and that the bald eagle didn't actually cry
• He carries box cutters on commercial flights
• His iris glows red with the flames of hell

Thank you.
Last edited by Chojin : Jan 1st, 2000 at 12:01 AM.
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Old May 27th, 2008, 08:49 PM       
He also folds, spindles and mutilates official government documentation, and rips tags from mattresses willy-nilly. What a miscreant!
The future is fun,
The future is fair.
You may already have won!
You may already be there.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old May 27th, 2008, 09:46 PM       
He actually does fit the profile of the antichrist, but I don't really believe in that stuff anyways.
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pac-man pac-man is offline
Oozes machismo
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: The High Ground
Old May 28th, 2008, 12:07 AM       
He hired a witch doctor to exorcise the Caucasian that burns within his flesh
That's not a bad thing at all.
...I proved, son, without a shadow of a doubt, you ain't got what it takes anymore! You sit there, and you thump your bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16; Austin 3:16 says, "I just whipped your ass!"
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mburbank mburbank is offline
The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: right behind you
Old May 28th, 2008, 11:08 AM       
Jerry Fallwell said the anti-christ was alive today, in his forties and a Jew. Barack doesn't fit the profile. I do.
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Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old May 28th, 2008, 12:14 PM       
Now that's a limmerick.
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!

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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Aug 1st, 2008, 09:00 PM       
He is too skinny to be our President.
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