THE BEST JOKE EVER!

[sspadowsky]

Originally Posted by Prog Shooter

I'm a goddamn fucking 28 year old and with enough anger to snap your neck just by willing it to happen, not a teenager, fuckwit.

But, since you asked nicely, I will leave you to your own masturbatory devices.

Bye.

OH YEAH WELL I'M A GODDAMN 29 YEAR-OLD AND I'VE GOT ENOUGH ANGER TO GIVE YOU ARTHRITIC KNEES AND RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME.

DON'T FUCK WITH GOD'S AMERICA, YOU LIMEY BASTARD.

[sspadowsky]

P.S.-

A guy hears a knock on his door. He opens the door to a snail sitting on his porch.

"Hey," says the snail. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Get the fuck outta here, you slimy little shit!" And he grabs the snail and chucks him across the street.

3 years later, guy hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, and there sits a snail.

Snail says, "Hey- what the fuck was that all about?"

[Emu]

i laughed

[lunlun]

Originally Posted by sspadowsky

P.S.-

A guy hears a knock on his door. He opens the door to a snail sitting on his porch.

"Hey," says the snail. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Get the fuck outta here, you slimy little shit!" And he grabs the snail and chucks him across the street.

3 years later, guy hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, and there sits a snail.

Snail says, "Hey- what the fuck was that all about?"

yeah weve got that one in german too

hmm im just thinking about a german joke..

ah thats a popular one:

the little son sks his father "whats politics?"
the father answers "okay lets take our family as example:
i earn all the money so i am the kapitalism.
you mother manages the money so she is the governement.
and we both really take care of you my son so you are the nation.
our maid is the working class and your little brother, who's wearing diapers, is the future.
dud you understand?"

the son is satisfied for the time being

At night he wakes up because his little brother "used" the diaper and screams. He stands up and knocks at the parents door but his mother is sleeping and she doesnt wake up.
So he goes to the maid and he finds his father with her.
although he knocks several times they dont really notice.
so he gos to bed ahain and tries to sleep.


the morning after his father asks him if he can tell nowwhat politics is and the son is answering:
"yes now i know. the kapitalism fucks the working class while the gevernement is sleeping. the nation is totally ignored and the future is shitty"


(i dont know if the last sentence is so clear. its hard to translate the colloquial language)

[ziggytrix]

wow, marxist humor!

that was a fine translation, lunlun. actually, it's probably the closest to flawless english you've typed on this board so far!

[Jixby Phillips]

Max's avatar is blurry green elvis you jerks

[lunlun]

Originally Posted by ziggytrix

wow, marxist humor!

that was a fine translation, lunlun. actually, it's probably the closest to flawless english you've typed on this board so far!

hehe
its just.. i didnt talk or write in english for a long time and i just need practice. once my english was veryvery good.

and if you want to help me just send me pm's with my mistakes (form term whatever)

[sspadowsky]

Your English is better than most of the Americans on this board.

[lunlun]

aaawww thank you

but instead licking my nice ass you should tell a joke

[sspadowsky]

It was more of an insult to the board than a compliment to you.

[lunlun]

im an inveterate optimist so i dont care

[maggiekarp]

but instead licking my nice ass you should tell a joke

I like that, it is funny to me.

Max, that joke made me laugh

[jin]

[bigtimecow]

prog (poop)shooter

LMAO

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by Prog Shooter

I'm a goddamn fucking 28 year old and with enough anger to snap your neck just by willing it to happen, not a teenager, fuckwit.

But, since you asked nicely, I will leave you to your own masturbatory devices.

Bye.

what a douche......

[MLE]

jin ;D

[Mad Melvin]

A Mexican guy, an American guy and a Japanese guy are building a house. The Mexican guy is supposed to get cement for the foundation, the American fellow is supposed to get the bricks for the walls and the Japanese guy is supposed to bring the supplies.

The Mexican guy and the American guy do what they were supposed to, but the Japanese guy has vanished.
When they start to wonder about what happened to the Japanese guy, he jumps out from behind a tree and yells: "SULPLISE!!"

meh.

[mburbank]

Jixby, you tool, it's Topo GiGio, not Elvis!

[Dole]

Stupid commentary-wielding, vapid bitch-loving, sand-in-the-ears TWAT LUMP!

I am funny, because, well, I commanded a board for more than a year, and had even the meanest posters kissing my ass by the time it went down for good.

Oh yes. I am a veteran.. So please give my pubic probiscus a lick.

I may be coming across as slightly uncharitable, but nonetheless I remain unconvinced as to your 'funny' or worth as a human being.

[ziggytrix]

apologies in advance

[Pram Maven]

Originally Posted by Dole

I may be coming across as slightly uncharitable, but nonetheless I remain unconvinced as to your 'funny' or worth as a human being.

Yeah, well, I've been a bit of a rectum, but that's only because I was angry about something else, and I don't see any point in trying to be funny; I just know that I've made a lot of people laugh, so if you're truely in doubt as to my ability to do this, let me just IM you and I'll whip up hilarity that you can take home with you in a doggy bag and finish later because my jokes are mostly just Madlibs.
By the way, I'm sorry for ruining this thread earlier. That was a good joke, Max.

[Chojin]

NOW YOOSA KEEPS YOOS NOSE CLEEN, YOOSA HEARS MEE.

We also updated our rules and guidelines yesterday, so please go read them.

[Pram Maven]

Originally Posted by sspadowsky

OH YEAH WELL I'M A ******* 29 YEAR-OLD (and 17 minutes) AND I'VE GOT ENOUGH ANGER TO GIVE YOU ARTHRITIC KNEES AND RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME.

*LMAO!* This, I can't compete with. I can't wait till we both hit our mid 30's and our bodies fall apart. Oh, the pictures we'll share. Race you to patent uselessness!

Thanks, Chojin. You've been more than fair. I will behave from now on.

[Esuohlim]

We uh don't have censor swears around here

[Blue Fox]

are we gonna get back to telling more corny jokes? I was having fun.

BTW Max, I told your jokes to some friends at a party last night, they all loved it. Got any more gems like that?

tell your daughter that i liked her joke

She sounds adorable