|
|
|
|
Apr 27th, 2004, 08:21 PM
An Ode to my Mechanical Phallus.
My pocket keeps bleeping.
After hours of thought and careful deduction, I have come up with two possible reasons for this:
1. My Mobile phone is running out of battery power.
2. I have a mechanical penis.
I decided that the latter was the more interesting, and thus posted this thread. What are the advantages of a mechanical penis?
-Because it is not organic, it can be any size you wish: i.e, not 5.5 inches.
-You could program it to make a series of noises when you're randy, such as the Jaws theme.
-You would never have any need for viagra; when you want to be hard, simply press a button.
- It never gets tired.
- It could be detachable (remember that song, "Detatchable Penis" ?)
- Use it as a poking stick
-Use it to slap people
-Unbreakable
-Can be used for cooking, i.e. roller, egg beater, etc.
-Can be cleaned in a dish washer.
-Might could be converted into a lightsaber by a Jedi.
-Could have a GPS on it, so if you ever lose it during detachment, it'll be easy to find. No searching medicine cabinets and street salesmen's wares.
But now, what are the disadvantages of a mechanical penis?
-It starts bleeping when it runs out of power.
-If it gets wet, it might explode.
-If anybody finds out thou, shalt be mocked for an eternity.
-Could malfunction and go off at any time.
-Could malfunction and not go off. Ever.
-It would be hard to find someone willing to repair it, you'd do your own maintenance.
-Depending on its energy source, it could cost money via gas or batteries, or a high powered nuclear powered metal penis could spread radiation poisoning.
I would like to ask the community to aid me in making a larger list of advantages and disadvantages to having a mechanical cock. Thank you.
| |
__________________
Speeding past an orphanage, shouting, "Who's your daddy?!" is perfectly acceptable behavior.
| |
|
|
ostcount
Linear Mode
