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Kulturkampf Kulturkampf is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 10:18 AM        start a tobacco habit today
I like to chew tobacco these days because I have always been an orallist living for my taste buds

Oh sure, it will give me cancer but what? I consider it a mistake to chew tobacco and the fact that I consciously make a mistake like this, one that damages my health, as something indicative of an inner desire.

You cannot sum it up shortly so I will be lengthy:

I am scared to die, but I am not scared to get cancer because that is years off and anything years off I can prepare myself for. I can resign myself to death because all men die. I can resign myself to cancer of the mouth in 30 years because I do not see a purpose for my mouth in thirty years.

I can envision purpose for perhaps two more decades. Something about "Perhaps I should write things on internet forums," "perhaps I should procreate," "perhaps I should visit somewhere and take a picture of me standing somewhere exotic to show people when my mouth has cancer and I am saying goodbye."

I do not want to live forever but I do not want to die ever, it is sort of a rock and a hard place on this one.

I want to die when I will be missed and not written off. I want to die kind of old, kind of young; in the time when it is untimely enough so as to imprint something of worth on those around me and be a sobering dose of death in the midst of life.

I do not want to be 80 and have everybody remark, "It was his time." It seems wrong to have a time to die even though my Bible says as much. If I can perhaps place my time a little earlier it would be worthwhile.

I want to live long enough to have my face and body change -- change into that of an old man. Maybe I even do want to be 80. Who knows. I like change. I like future.

But I do not like turning everything into a risk.

Come on, humanity, isn't there a certain point when we must say fuck it and do what we have to do?

People spend their lives not using tobacco or drinking in excess to what use? To be safe?

Who had fun by being safe and cozy tucked away in their rooms?

It is just lack of romance these people have.

These are the same people that never take risks; that never do something poorly planned; that never feel the passions of life written on their heart. They do not treat life as a journey -- they treat it as a series of choices one makes to avoid a poor fate.

But you know what? We all end up in the same box beneath the Earth.

I'll take 55 years with tobacco, alcohol, fatty foods and mysterious Vajeens over 80 years of good health, proper diet and a plan for success.

Success isn't your bank account or your health.

Success is the tobacco, the alcohol, the greasy foods and the vajeens.

To live cautiously is to kill yourself every single day of your life; it is to limit yourself, to put yourself on a leash.

I do not have a leash and I do not have limits.

When I am an old man dying of cancer in his fifties I will have stories.

When you are dying in your eighties you will have small talk.

One last anecdote:

I remember reading a story in Korean where a man was fired from his job and, to quote it, "went to the corner store and bought a pack of cigarettes then started a new life."

That is how I live.

If you suck right now, please go down to your corner store and buy a pack of cigarettes then start a new life.

The meaning of life is not found in avoidance, it is found in confrontation and indulgence.

Please, do yourself a favor and start smoking. You'll never feel awkward again as long as you have cigarettes and a liter.

Trade 10 years of your life for 20 less years of standing at bus stops wondering what to do or sitting in your office looking for an excuse to take a walk to the store.
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 11:13 AM       
Cigarettes are gross.

I'm going to be a grumpy old shut-in asshole with no friends or family and a large stack of video games just to spite you, sir. I'll be like "I sure told that one preachy guy on that one message board".
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AlliSabbah AlliSabbah is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 12:01 PM       
Cancer is a horrible way to die. If thats how you want to go more power to you. Also cancer is now always long away. My Uncle died of cancer the day after he was diagnosed. My Father died of cancer after a long drawn out battle with it that left him looking like a shadow of his former self. Not to mention the guy down the street that died after about a month of laying in his bed moaning and screaming in pain. What a fun way to go.

I eat unhealthy yet I do not drink nor smoke. I chalk that up more to intelligence than lack of desire to experience life.
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 12:35 PM       
Why do people assume that to experience the true unadulterated flavor of life that that includes being a fucking dumbass? Life is only what you make of it, and if you make a painful experience of it on purpose, that just makes you a masochist, not a profound sage on the road of life.
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 01:07 PM       
I have to hand it to KK. It must be hard acting so retarded.
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Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 01:11 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emu View Post
Why do people assume that to experience the true unadulterated flavor of life that that includes being a fucking dumbass? Life is only what you make of it, and if you make a painful experience of it on purpose, that just makes you a masochist, not a profound sage on the road of life.
Amen to that. What "stories" is that idiot going to get from chewing tobacco? I imagine it'll be hard to tell them after they snip out his tongue.

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...3/285a77e1.jpg

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o...th_cancer2.jpg

Oh well. Have fun anyway.
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mburbank mburbank is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 02:41 PM       
Can't you just put a gun in your mouth and speed up the process?

Seriously, no one cares about whatever bad habits you engage in. It's just a stupid bad habit and addictive and feel free to do it if you want. Why do you have to tell us all about how it indicates you're a really great animal?

Can't you just say "I do a gross thing lots of other people do" and leave it at that? Does every twitch and spasm of your existence have to be a sign of your marvelousness?

"I'm a dog and I eat gassy food, so I have these dog farts? But they're Dog in the state of nature dog farts and they mean I'm a noble savage, and my choic e to have dog farts speaks volumes about the romance that is me."

No. No. They are just dog farts. Let it alone.
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Kulturkampf Kulturkampf is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 05:05 PM       
cancer is a horrible way to die -- I imagine this painful death will please burbank and his smug disposition.

I like tot hink of it as just living life up the best I can because this si all I have.
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 05:10 PM       
I can't wait to start spending about a hundred dollars a month on a habit I would personally be much happier without.

Maybe I'll crash an airplane into a crowded stadium because we're all going to die one day anyway. WHILE GETTING A BLOWJOB.
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 05:16 PM       
All you have is cancer? I have a guitar.
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Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Dec 9th, 2007, 10:00 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kulturkampf View Post

I like tot hink of it as just living life up the best I can because this si all I have.
Chewing tobacco, drinking, fighting, and fucking are all you have in life? Nothing else worth exploring?
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MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
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Old Dec 10th, 2007, 08:43 AM       
I hear chewing tobacco turns you into a sexual tyrannosaurus.
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AChimp AChimp is offline
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Old Dec 10th, 2007, 10:12 AM       
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Originally Posted by Kulturkampf View Post
Please, do yourself a favor and start smoking. You'll never feel awkward again as long as you have cigarettes and a liter.
Yes, but a liter of WHAT? A liter of your own man-juices that you ooze while enjoying yourself so much?

You can't give us the secret to living the good life and leave us dangling like this.
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mburbank mburbank is offline
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Old Dec 10th, 2007, 10:37 AM       
You mook.

I suggested the gun in the mouth since it's quicker. You place a higher value on chewing tobacco than you do on not dying of mouth cancer. Seems to me like you're the one romancing a slow ugly death.

AND you are not only determined to think of this as a sign of your impressive masculinity, you couple it with a cloying neurotic need to convince others (and probably yourself) that you are right and your rightness makes you just the essence of noble warrior studliness.

I'm smug?

Well, at least your eventual mouth cancer is dignified by stained teeth and spiting ropes of brown goo everywhere you go.
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