Originally Posted by Dimnos
Three times today someone has tried telling me a joke only to present the same old lame jokes you have herd a million times. I need to hear a new one. Anyone have anything good?
A man walks into a bar. Above the bar is a magnificent silver shield, beautifully etched. He orders a drink, and sits there, admiring it.
"What is that shield from?" he asks the bartender.
"That shield is for the man who can complete two great challanges. So far, no one has ever won it."
"What are these challanges?"
"Well, first, you need to go out in the yard, where we keep a vicious Rottweiler. This dog is mean.
He's got a rotten tooth, and your first task is to pull the tooth from his mouth."
"The next great challange is to go upstairs, and fuck the dirtiest, fattest, most diseased whore on the face of this Earth."
"If you can complete these two challanges, the shield is yours."
The man sits there quietly, contemplating this beauty of this shield. He orders drink after drink, staring up at it. Finally, after getting blind staggering drunk, he rises to his feet.
"I'LL DO IT!" he shouts, swaying drunkenly. "I'LL WIN THAT SHIELD AND BE RICH!"
"RIGHT ON!" the bartender claps the man on the back, and steers him to the back door, where the dog stands waiting. He closes the door, and these are the sounds he hears:
"Grrr....GRRRR! RRRROWR! *snarl* RAWF! RAWF! RAWF! RWAF! RWAF R-YIP! YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP!" *whimper* *whinewhinewhine*
The man kicks the door open, his body covered in bites and claw marks, and he says:
"Okay, that's done! Now where's the fat whore with the bad tooth?!"
Your feedback on my version of The Aristocrats would also be greatly appreciated: