NEW SHORT: "A LETTER TO XBOX 360 OWNERS"

[Mockery]

Dr. Boogie recently bought an Xbox 360. Dr. Boogie recently received the "red circle of death" on his new Xbox 360. Dr. Boogie recently received a letter from a VP at Microsoft and here's what it said...


NEW SHORT: "A LETTER TO XBOX 360 OWNERS" -by Dr. Boogie
http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/xbox360-owners

Enjoy!

[Fathom Zero]

Hilarious, dude. HIGH-FIVE.

My Xbox 360 eats my discs when I lift it or set it down while a disc is in motion inside. Apparently there are gyroscopes with razorblades attached in there.

[FartinMowler]

Great job Boogie...good luck in grade 10 and hope you get a prom date.

[Otto]

It could've been worse, it could have been a PS3. In which case any kind of complaint would've been met with a crate full of death-threats from Sony ad-executives and an envelope of severed fingers.

[Angryhydralisk]

After seeing this...I think being behind the times (and embracing thine empty pockets!) dosen't feel so bad after all.

[JB_Man]

My 360 got that Red Ring of Death as well and after putting me on hold for 43 and a half minutes customer service was actually pretty nice to me

[Zomboid]

Have one of the launch 360s and not a single problem yet, so fuck you all.

[Dr. Boogie]

Then concider this post my way of jinxing you, zomboid. jinxjinxjinxjinxjinx

Also, although george is the head of my fanclub, fartin is the VP/Groundskeeper.

[noob3]

I would have read this article, but my 360 already broke, and I already recieved my letter from Microsoft. I don't see what's so funny about this.

Great service, though! A+, MS!

[FartinMowler]

I'm waiting for the fixed generation of XBox but here you go...

It was but a few days ago when Peter Moore apologized to Xbox 360 owners around the world for the notorious 'red ring of death' epidemic and extended the warranty on all consoles to three years. That was a classy move indeed, but a possible cause of the error has been hypothesized and reported by GamePolitics.com that makes the shoddy manufacture of Microsoft's console all the more shameful. There are theories flying around that surge protectors may very well be the cause of all the trouble. Widely used and innocent surge protectors, the bane of Microsoft? It would seem to be the case.
Microsoft reps have apparently been informing unlucky gamers that surge protectors may lie at the heart of their consoles' collective deaths. It's being said that the 360 can't handle power reductions and changes to the electrical supply result in its weak point being attacked for massive damage. As you may have guessed, this is the exact scenario that surge protectors can trigger and, according to GP's report, as many as 90% of all slaughtered consoles have been plugged into one.
There are more than a few of us in the Destructoid community who have watched their machines perish, sometimes on multiple occassions. Who among us has had their console plugged into a surge protector, with or without issue? This is pretty damning stuff if it's true, that such a common appliance could equal the breakage of an expensive games console. Moore must be thankful he can just shout "THREE YEAR WARRANTY," in our faces and run away laughing. Prevention would have been better than cure though, yes?

[Dr. Boogie]

Mine was plugged into a surge protector for a while, but it didn't break until after I had been playing it without one for a few weeks. I've heard all sorts of stories, with some people saying that the DVD drive is 3rd-rate, the motherboard is designed to eventually overheat and break, and other stuff.

I think the real shame is that even with all this, the 360 will still be outclassing the PS3 simply because there aren't any good games for that thing.

[Fathom Zero]

Mine hasn't broke yet. I don't know how, the thing's on about 12 hours out of the day.

[Protoclown]

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie

I think the real shame is that even with all this, the 360 will still be outclassing the PS3 simply because there aren't any good games for that thing.

I think in the longrun the PS3 is going to come out on top of the Xbox, especially now that they've dropped their price and announced that insane game production schedule for the rest of the year. By this time next year, after some decent games have come out, I think the PS3 will be doing MUCH better. My roommate got one and it's a pretty nice system, but again, there isn't shit worth playing out for it yet.

Nintendo can't just sit on their laurels and ride the "novelty" wave of the Wii for much longer though...they need to start releasing some better games STAT. I'm already getting bored by the lack of what's out there. I know that Metroid, Mario Galaxy, and Smash Bros. Melee are all coming toward the end of the year (and that Mario Kart was finally announced for early 2008), but they're gonna need more than that if they're going to keep holding their own against the big bad uber consoles. That said, I do think the Wii will win this console generation battle if they continue to play their cards as well as they have been since its release. Of course, even if the Wii stumbles a bit, the DS is doing so amazingly well that Nintendo's gonna be soaring high for quite a while.

[noob3]

the ps3 will never be on top, ever (unless u count it being ontop of the 360 in a sexual way, like how you would ask a chick to get on top)! atleast, not in america. or japan. or anywhere video games are sold :0

even with the price cut, so what? the e3 lineup is just a bunch of halo/gears of war rip offs, rehashes & unexclusives. oh, and gran turismo! if u wanna pay $500 for gran turismo, ps3 is the way to go!

[Dr. Boogie]

Originally Posted by Protoclown

I think in the longrun the PS3 is going to come out on top of the Xbox, especially now that they've dropped their price and announced that insane game production schedule for the rest of the year. By this time next year, after some decent games have come out, I think the PS3 will be doing MUCH better.

Possibly. Or it could turn out that the PS3 is less expensive, but has a long list of crummy, half-finished titles. But you know me, I'm an optimist.

[Protoclown]

Originally Posted by noob3

the ps3 will never be on top, ever (unless u count it being ontop of the 360 in a sexual way, like how you would ask a chick to get on top)! atleast, not in america. or japan. or anywhere video games are sold :0

Yeah, cuz the Xbox has sold all of what, five consoles in Japan by now?

[ArrowX]

Originally Posted by Protoclown

Yeah, cuz the Xbox has sold all of what, five consoles in Japan by now?

Proto keep up with the times they've sold around 2000 in japan since that Blue Dragon game came out, it was made by the guy who started Dragon Quest, and Final Fantasy, and had the same art designer as Chrono Trigger, and Dragonball Z. Its moving consoles like mad now.

tho I find it Ironic that after reading this article yesterday my 360 gave me the Red Ring of Death not 20 minutes later

[Mockery]

I think Xbox 360 has a clear advantage over PS3 right now, especially with the excellent line-up of downloadable games on Xbox Live. That's the one thing I'd really buy that system for... they've even got a redrawn of Yie Ar Kung-Fu coming out on it.

I definitely wouldn't count PS3 out, but they've got a loooooooong way to go as far as catching up goes. It'll be interesting to see where all 3 systems stand this time next year.

[FartinMowler]

gave me the Red Ring of Death

I don't think you should post if there is more than a 50% chance that you hacked or opened the unit.

[ArrowX]

People are against buying the PS3 now, but if you factor a price drop anywhere between 60-100 every year over a console with a supposed 10 year life your looking at a pretty inexpensive console in about 2-3 years. Plus now that Blu Ray is actually a better format than standard DVD's in terms of storage space for games. I hate to say it but at the end of the PS3's lifespan its gonna be a killer system hardware and cost wise down the road.

But
Sony is expecting the PS3 to have a 10 year lifespan, compared to the 360 and the Wii's probable 5-6 year lifespan. My money is on Microsoft moving a next gen system (PS3,Wii,360 consoles being current generation) by 2010-2011, with better hardware.

Oh and Fartin I'm not sevenforce and I don't know how to mod my 360.

[Dr. Boogie]

Wow, hardware. Yeah, that's really great.

The problem is that if a system doesn't have good games, it won't matter that it has better hardware than the competition. Just look at the DS vs PSP.

[Fathom Zero]

I'd like a Wii, but it's not gonna matter if I can't find the damn things in stores.

I still haven't seen one that was up for sale in any store I've been in. And trust me. I've looked. But there are stacks of PS3s and at least one for sale in a display case in every store I've been in, (leave it to me to open up another can of worms.) That was one of the issues people have had with availability and now it seems, at least to me, that only the Wii suffers from those issues and understandably so. I'm still on the lookout, though.

And the 360's hardware is just fine. I feel really dumb now for having been suckered into Gamestop's insurance package knowing that Microsoft already has a warranty for the thing.

[Dr. Boogie]

Yeah, if by "already has a warranty" you mean "has just extended the warranty to cover a major problem that a lot of people are running into".

[Fathom Zero]

Define "a lot." The 360 had a year warranty if I'm not mistaken, (probably am, but oh well.) With peoples' shit breaking left and right as we hear it, a three year warranty would probably be overkill.

And I forgot to address the games. Both companies, (Nintendo and Sony, that is), have announced an assload of games. Microsoft doesn't need to really announce as many since they're not as pushed to have a ton of them.

[Chojin]

Originally Posted by ArrowX

People are against buying the PS3 now, but if you factor a price drop anywhere between 60-100 every year over a console with a supposed 10 year life your looking at a pretty inexpensive console in about 2-3 years.

Funny thing! The $100 PS3 price cut only applies to the 60 GB model - which is now no longer being manufactured - while the new 80GB model is still retailing for $599. So, there is no guarantee there's a price cut every year - actually, none of the new systems have done it yet. And now that Sony's releasing controllers with rumble, everyone who trusted them with their riches gets to feel like a moron for buying inferior $50 controllers while Sony was pitching that rumble 'felt like a last-gen feature' to them. And if the PS3 is fucking their profits as much next year as it is now, do you really think they could keep their shenanigans up for another 8-9 years even if they wanted to? Shareholders might have some concerns, I'm just saying. Point being, there's a lot of ill will being spread over a launch that really looks like it should have waited another year to happen, and that's not something that's going to change overnight. They're up to what, 3 SKUs now, and already have a new controller you need to buy. What 'average joe' ps3 user has the time or desire to keep on top of shit like that? And when people get confused or bored, they go elsewhere for entertainment.

But before I make i-mockery look too much like the kotaku comment board, I would just like to say that the article was hilarious, and noob3 apparently didn't understand that this isn't just a factual report from the i-mockery news crew.