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Roggs Roggs is offline
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Old Apr 21st, 2008, 02:14 PM        Max Payne movie
So I took a look at the casting they're doing for the upcoming Max Payne movie, and I am not happy. At all.

Here are some of the castings:

Max Payne - Mark Wahlberg (Weak. Very weak. I know, it's a tough role to cast, but come on. Wahlberg just could not pull off Payne.)

Mona Sax - Mila Kunis (Just awful. At least she LOOKS her part more than Wahlberg looks his, but she is so wrong for this role. Seriously, how many actresses rejected this role before they got to her?)

Jim Bravura - Ludacris (What. The. Fuck. This has to be some kind of joke. Some kind of utterly horrible, unfunny joke. [Where's Bill O'Reilly when you actually need him?])

They haven't listed the castings for Vladimir Lem or Alfred Woden as far as I know; maybe they're not even in the movie.

And if you can believe it, this is apparently NOT the doing of Uwe Boll. All the same, this is looking to be one of the worst abominations ever of a fantastic gaming franchise.


If I had it my way:

Max Payne - Karl Urban
Mona Sax - Keira Knightley
Jim Bravura - Martin Sheen
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Old Apr 21st, 2008, 02:18 PM       
I haven't seen Kunis act, sitcoms really don't call for it, but Knightley has a pretty wide range of misses under her belt.

I have a fond dislike of Wahlberg & take pride in not liking his movies.
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Old Apr 21st, 2008, 02:23 PM       
Shooter was awesome IMO
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Old Apr 21st, 2008, 06:07 PM       
How could Vlad or Woden not be in the movie?

And I can see Wahlberg as Payne.
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Old Apr 21st, 2008, 08:56 PM       
I wouldn't mind Wahlberg as Payne. I think Tom Jane would be good, but it would remind me too much of punisher. I think Donnie Walhberg would work.
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Old Apr 21st, 2008, 10:08 PM       
actually if you play saints row she has a powerful voice don't know about facial expresions though
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 02:53 PM       
I think the game, to a lesser extent than Metal Gear Solid, pretty much is an extended movie, and making a film out of it wouldnt add anything or faithfully capture the essence of the game. But seeing as its going to be made anyways, Vladimir should be portrayed by Peter Stormare.
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 04:30 PM       
Walhberg was the best actor in a movie with Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson and Le DiCaprio. I think he could pull off Max Payne. But seeing as how you suggested Karl Urban... I can see we aren't working with much taste.

Do I want to see a Max Payne movie? No. I do not.
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 05:05 PM       
The Departed sucked, Mister Bear. ;(
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 05:24 PM       
It did suck. And wahlberg wasn't the best in it. Wahlberg is never the best in anything.
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 05:55 PM       
W/ the Funky Bunch, yeah.
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 07:52 PM       
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It did suck. And wahlberg wasn't the best in it. Wahlberg is never the best in anything.
not even raping?
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 08:00 PM       
Really, people thought the Departed was a bad movie? Probably the same people who like Andy Dick.
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 08:02 PM       
Nope, I hate Andy Dick.
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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 08:33 PM       
But you like dick, so you still lose.
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Old Apr 23rd, 2008, 03:02 AM       
The Departed wasn't "Best Picture" quality- but Walhlburg had the best performance in it. Because I said so...
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Old Apr 23rd, 2008, 09:38 AM       
Keira Knightley, I'd tap you two times.
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 03:00 AM       
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I wouldn't mind Wahlberg as Payne. I think Tom Jane would be good, but it would remind me too much of punisher. I think Donnie Walhberg would work.
Thomas Jane was another one I had in mind. If Kiefer Sutherland were a little younger he'd also be pretty good.

At any rate, I don't know, maybe I don't watch enough movies anymore to know who's really out there. But even if you think Mark Wahlberg can at least put a spin (however unnecessary) on Payne's character, you have to appreciate that Kunis is a terrible choice for Mona, and Ludacris playing Jim Bravura? Sometimes a name can be all too appropriate, I guess.
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 03:07 AM       
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you have to appreciate that Kunis is a terrible choice for Mona
Not until you point to something in her career which it makes it clear why not.
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 11:03 AM       
Wahlberg? ugh. atleast he has some experience i suppose. i think he's got too pretty of a face though for someone as rugged as max. then again...

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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 05:03 PM       
Here's a pitch:

JAKE BUSEY AS MAX PAYNER
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Old Apr 25th, 2008, 03:22 AM       
No, but he'd be wonderful at Max Paynier!
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 01:30 PM       
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Not until you point to something in her career which it makes it clear why not.
Actually, part of the reason I say that is because I CANNOT point to anything in her career that makes it clear why they would ask her to take the role on.

All I know about her is That 70s Show and Family Guy. If she can do a role other than "obnoxious teenager," I haven't seen it.

Beyond that, I believe there are many other actresses in Hollywood who a better qualified for the role.
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 06:24 PM       
Mila was in american Psycho 2, which I haven't seen but heard she was pretty good in it.
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Old Apr 26th, 2008, 11:38 PM       
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Actually, part of the reason I say that is because I CANNOT point to anything in her career that makes it clear why they would ask her to take the role on.

All I know about her is That 70s Show and Family Guy. If she can do a role other than "obnoxious teenager," I haven't seen it.

Beyond that, I believe there are many other actresses in Hollywood who a better qualified for the role.
in saints row she plays a back stabbing bitch and does an awesome role up until

Spoilers!
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