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Originally Posted by Grislygus
I'd like to see them.
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Right, then...
Oh ho! Time for Chef AngryTinyMan show you make delicious vegetarian yakisoba noodle bowl!
Now, first thing, know what you'll need:
A frying pan (preferably cast-iron, like the one in the photo), a packet of yakisoba noodles (with seasoning), a bag of bean sprouts, a bundle of green onions, and about 1/3 head of lettuce. (Not pictured: jug of vegetable oil, big knife, unmeltable plastic spatula.)
Step 1: cut up the green onions. Pull two of them from the bunch, wash out any dirt, then cut them up. Cut 'em to about an inch, maybe an inch and a half. Then we'll stick the pieces into a bowl on the side for the time being.
Step 2: Cut off about a third of the lettuce and chop that into bite-sized pieces, or even smaller, and stick them in the bowl with the green onions. After that's done, give yourself a thumbs-up for getting this far without hurting yourself. (Sadly for me, my celebration was short-lived, as I dropped the knife into my foot immediately after I took this photo.)
Step 3: Grab a handful of the bean sprouts and stick those in the bowl, too. Then add another half-handful, since the first handful is never enough.
Step 4: Heat the pan up. Put it on the stove then set the burner to...something, I forget. Let's just start it medium and we'll heat it up more to our liking if that's not enough. Once the pan's heated, pour in a little bit of oil. Just enough to cover the bottom. Or maybe even that's too much? I'm not sure, this was a couple months ago.
Step 5: When you think the oiled pan is ready, take that bowl of veggies and pour 'em in. Toss them around with your super un-melting spatula, so everything gets a little crispy. When they're crisp to your liking, put 'em back in the bowl where from they came.
Step 6 (The one with a bunch of pictures): Now, time to break out the soba! When you take them out of the package, they're already somewhat cooked, though still in a block form:
I tried one on its own. The uncooked stuff has some soapy taste to it; so I wouldn't really reccommend it:
Anyway, take that block of noodles and stick it in the pan with a little water (the back of the package says about 1/4 cup):
Shift the noodles around with the spatula as they cook. Don't worry if some of the noodles stick; that's why scrub brushes were invented.
Step 7: Pour in that bowl of cooked vegetables to the noodles, and mix it up. Then finally use that packet of yakisoba seasoning, spreading it over the whole thing. Make some motorcycle noises as you sprinkle on the seasoning, if you want. Not that they'll help the taste or anything, motorcycles are just cool.
Step 8: Stick the full mixture into a bowl, add chopsticks, and you're done. Eat it with the chopsticks if you know how to use chopsticks. Eat it with your fingers if you don't.
Bonus steps!
-Add some minced garlic in with the vegetables when you're cooking them! (The kind in jars you buy at the grocery store; garlic presses don't produce chunky enough pieces of garlic!)
-Cook some bite-sized pieces pork, chicken, or steak beforehand and cook them along with the noodles!
-Spice up the soba with Tobasco, or whatever other hot sauce you can think of!
-Something else with an exclamation point at the end! Get creative!
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