Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > Philosophy, Politics, and News
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: The ninth level of HELL all hail lucifer lord of ducklings
SenorSalsa is probably a spambot
Old Jun 14th, 2003, 04:35 AM        The old folks home (warning, very sexy!)
So I was doing this service hour thing for my school right? The deal is that you have to have 10 school hours and 6 comunity hours. So i was planning on serving my community hours by visiting the old folks home where my granny lived. I hung around with some old people 1 on 1 you know? I played the piano for miss ross who was clically insane and was convicted of shooting puppies in the head while she sat in trees at the park. I played with mr. Sweene and he beat me at checkers really badly.
Now it was time to visit granny who is very old in senile. I went to her room ( number 69 BAD OMEN!!!!) and came in with some groceries i had bought for her. She thanked me and i flashed her a big smile. She was watching tv while I put the food away in the kitchen which was adjacent to the tv room. I diddent know what she was watching because she blew her speaker by listning to it full volume a few months ago so all i was hearing was loud feeback and the occasional deep boom noise. So i come into the room and she is watching hardcore german porn! At this point i am totally shocked and horrified. i go "bye granny i have to go" and she asks as i am going out the door. "will you make love to me?"
I am horrified but she starts putting me on a guilt trip like "ever since your grandfather died i havnt had sex, and i am going to die soon of my colon cancer i would really like one more pounding." So after a few minutes of thinking about it i block out my mind and i say "ok fine"
She is wearing an old plad blue dress and a white blouse and her skin on her neck is hanging down to her chest while both eyes look in different directions. Funny. I had never realized how attractive my granny was. I imediatly go down on her and her dress is over my head and her hands are clutching her walker as she is obviously feeling it. So i am licking away and it reminds me of the time i was licking sandpaper for half an hour just to see if i could make my toung bleed. Anyway, i pull the dress off of her and some of her loose skin is rolling down with it, kind of like a ripple in a lake. and i prop her up and start doing her in the butt. I can feel her cancerous tumor against my dick and it causes me to shoot my load inside of her and she is going nuts and clawing at the chair. She starts urinating onto the chair (uncontrolably, i must be good in bed ) and its getting repelled off of the plastic laminated cussions and is landing on my pants which are around my anckles, so i just take them off. Her cancer is on the side of my shaft and i am pumping away still shooting off inside of the old hag when she climaxed. She climaxed a mix of blood, mucus, and sand and it shot out of her vagina and plastered her tv dinner against the wall with a stickey residue. I went nuts and put my dick in her flappy pussy and was having my way with her when my dad walked in! Like a scene out of a cheesy 70's sitcom he walks in the door with his hand still on the knob and the audience is aplauding because he is their favorite character. He dons the famous fez hat and is holding an empty martini glass while staring at me and granny. In his other hand he is holding his trusty pistol. "Matt what are you doing, oh have i caught you at a bad time?" Granny says "No son, why dont you join in, i could use a nice cock like yours in my tookus." I am reminded of my experience on the lawnmower and my family incest has reached a new platou of awesomeness.
Now i am lying on my back, granny is lying on me and my dad is on top fucking her in the butt like a bull or a perverse party clown and he is jizzing away on her back. Dad is putting the pistol in his mouth and sucking it like a cock while granny is sucking on one of the legs of her overturned walker, and i am kissing her on the neck. Her loose skin makes her like one of those squishythings where you squeeze it and it goes back and fourth through the plastic covering making it easy on me and dad to sex her up. I am killing her with my massive hard on when i knotice that she is getting cold. I go "Granny are you sick?" No reply. "granny?" Still no reply. dad says "Oh, she finally died" I say "dad how could you not know she was dying, she was looking right at you!" and thats when i knoticed the gigantic bullet wound in the back of her head. "Dad hahahaha" i said as we both chuckled together at the sight of my grandmothers teeth blown out of her head, and sticking into the wall. "why did you kill granny dad?" and he said "Because it turns me on. Then he pistol whipped me in the nose, pulled out of grannys corpse and left the room. I finished granny off and then picked the teeth and hair off the wall and put them in the garbage. As i walked out i felt like a new man, i love my family!
__________________
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fatagn
In his house at Ryleh Cuthulhu lies dreaming
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Jixby Phillips Jixby Phillips is offline
Mocker
Jixby Phillips's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2000
Jixby Phillips is probably a spambot
Old Jun 14th, 2003, 04:44 AM       
warning, very sexy!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
Esuohlim's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Esuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contest
Old Jun 14th, 2003, 11:42 AM        Re: The old folks home (warning, very sexy!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SenorSalsa
Like a scene out of a cheesy 70's sitcom he walks in the door with his hand still on the knob and the audience is aplauding because he is their favorite character.
OMG HOW DID THIS ONE BYPASS THE CENSORS???
__________________


TomWritesAboutStuff.com - The #1 Worst Blog
Reply With Quote
  #4  
SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: The ninth level of HELL all hail lucifer lord of ducklings
SenorSalsa is probably a spambot
Old Jun 14th, 2003, 12:59 PM       
Bribary my friend. Brye- which is the frut. and berry which is the other fruit.
__________________
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fatagn
In his house at Ryleh Cuthulhu lies dreaming
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Wang Wang is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: bunghole
Wang is probably a spambot
Old Jun 30th, 2003, 09:23 PM       
what did u do 2 ur dad later? cuz he did gunwhip u u know? arent u gonna get him?
__________________
wait till i get my hands on you you fucking asshole!-danny devito The Way Things Are.

check out my fav website: megatokyo.com!(so what if i cant make a link? shutup!)
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Cap'n Crunch Cap'n Crunch is offline
Mocker
Cap'n Crunch's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Oh no. :(
Cap'n Crunch is probably a spambot
Old Jul 2nd, 2003, 04:53 AM       
Wang wants to know more. He has a hard on, and he doesn't want it to subside.

BTW, my name is Matt.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Wang Wang is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: bunghole
Wang is probably a spambot
Old Jul 28th, 2003, 11:39 PM       
no
__________________
wait till i get my hands on you you fucking asshole!-danny devito The Way Things Are.

check out my fav website: megatokyo.com!(so what if i cant make a link? shutup!)
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
Esuohlim's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Esuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contest
Old Jul 28th, 2003, 11:48 PM       
DEAR WANG: YOU'RE TOUGH ON THE INTERNET WANG
__________________


TomWritesAboutStuff.com - The #1 Worst Blog
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Cap'n Crunch Cap'n Crunch is offline
Mocker
Cap'n Crunch's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Oh no. :(
Cap'n Crunch is probably a spambot
Old Jul 29th, 2003, 12:01 AM       
Wow, only 26 days later. Impressive.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Spectre X Spectre X is offline
Rating: Yes.
Spectre X's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Dutchland
Spectre X is probably a spambot
Old Jul 29th, 2003, 02:50 PM       
Salsa, in your lawnmower adventure, didn't your dad and mom die or something? Oh well.

EDIT: Almost forgot:

MY EYES!!! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin
everybody knows that pterodactyls hate the screech of a guitar :o
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Wang Wang is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: bunghole
Wang is probably a spambot
Old Aug 8th, 2003, 01:18 AM       
maybe they respawned like kenny.

if you say one more mentally retarded joke about my usaname and u will "DIE!!" heh
__________________
wait till i get my hands on you you fucking asshole!-danny devito The Way Things Are.

check out my fav website: megatokyo.com!(so what if i cant make a link? shutup!)
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
Esuohlim's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Esuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contest
Old Aug 8th, 2003, 04:49 AM       
DEAR WANG: NO WANG
__________________


TomWritesAboutStuff.com - The #1 Worst Blog
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Wang Wang is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: bunghole
Wang is probably a spambot
Old Aug 10th, 2003, 11:40 PM       
shut the hell up!










bitch
__________________
wait till i get my hands on you you fucking asshole!-danny devito The Way Things Are.

check out my fav website: megatokyo.com!(so what if i cant make a link? shutup!)
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Sam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contest
Old Aug 10th, 2003, 11:52 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wang
note: make sure ur posts have at leats some importance. not just a load of crap
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Wang Wang is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: bunghole
Wang is probably a spambot
Old Aug 10th, 2003, 11:55 PM       
i have a right 2 reply he insulted me. sniff* im telling!
__________________
wait till i get my hands on you you fucking asshole!-danny devito The Way Things Are.

check out my fav website: megatokyo.com!(so what if i cant make a link? shutup!)
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
Esuohlim's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Esuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contest
Old Aug 11th, 2003, 12:17 AM       
DEAR WANG: I'M MERELY INSULTING YOUR INTELLIGENCE, WHICH YOU DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE YET DUE TO THE AMOUNT OF BRAINLESS REPLIES I RECEIVE FROM YOU WANG
__________________


TomWritesAboutStuff.com - The #1 Worst Blog
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Wang Wang is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: bunghole
Wang is probably a spambot
Old Aug 11th, 2003, 11:03 PM       
you cant exactly talk about dumb replies urself u know. i didnt know what stupid was until i heard your insults retard
__________________
wait till i get my hands on you you fucking asshole!-danny devito The Way Things Are.

check out my fav website: megatokyo.com!(so what if i cant make a link? shutup!)
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
Esuohlim's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Esuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contestEsuohlim won the popularity contest
Old Aug 12th, 2003, 09:38 PM       
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT STUPID WAS? OMG
__________________


TomWritesAboutStuff.com - The #1 Worst Blog
Reply With Quote
  #19  
sadie sadie is offline
ineffable
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: ineffability
sadie is probably a spambot
Old Aug 13th, 2003, 02:47 AM       
i dub this the fruity thread.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
UtterParadox UtterParadox is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: On top of your roof
UtterParadox is probably a spambot
Old Aug 28th, 2003, 03:31 PM       


My reaction to that story, in order of occurance.
__________________
I find your lack of pants disturbing.

"I wonder how strong human bones are after they shrink..."
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Sam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contestSam won the popularity contest
Old Aug 28th, 2003, 03:34 PM       
DEAR WANG: PLEASE COME BACK AND POST MORE WANG.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #22  
soundtest soundtest is offline
TERRIBLE BEAT
soundtest's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2001
soundtest is probably a spambot
Old Aug 28th, 2003, 05:56 PM       
I miss Wang

I also propose the emoticon be changed to :wang
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Les Waste Les Waste is offline
Senior Member
Les Waste's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Fuck you.
Les Waste is probably a spambot
Old Sep 4th, 2003, 11:58 AM       
Wang CHUNG
__________________
Bobo Adobo is funnier and smarter than all of you, proven by the fact that he is currently in a high-paying and important government job where he earns a fat cash paycheck and much pussy. How did he get so famous and successful you ask? It's simple: he has never, in his entire life, watched one second of anime.
- Outerspacekid
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:28 AM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.