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But I can't just not care about people, period, let alone stop caring about someone.
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Bullshit - you're thinking with your dick first and foremost, and the main reason you're so nice to her and treat her so well is because
somewhere down the line you're expecting something in return. If this was a guy we were talking about, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
But I agree with your other friend - forget about her. Like I mentioned here before: girls like that are fucking headcases and should be ignored completely because if not she's gonna play you until you hate all women or your balls explode.
BUT if you insist on going after her... Turn the tables and take the power back. Ignore HER and brush her off. If you do that, in about a week or so she's gonna start wondering why your every last thought isn't revolving around her, start to think you don't care anymore and have moved on (and thus feel threatened and unwanted and blah blah whatever other crap dramatic women like that always say they feel), and start to realize that 'hey wtf he was really great after all'. Then you're in control.