A QUICK MSG FROM THE BARACK OBAMA SMEAR CAMPAIGN OPERATOR

[McClain]

In light of his inevitable procurement of the democratic candidacy, I'd like to take this opportunity to summate a list of facts we have released.

• Obama is a radical Muslim who was sworn in to office using a Quran vice a Bible
• His church imprisons and tortures whites in a rectory-turned dungeon
• He's endorsed by the KKK
• He's funded by Hugo Chavez
• He fits the profile for the anti-Christ
• He lobbied to have the Duck Tales theme song changed to "Ducktales! (a-whooh ooh) America Sucks!"
• Half of his African family overdosed or are in jail
• He won't wear an American flag pin on his lapel because it clashes with is ebony zoot suit and suede shoes.
• He refuses to put his hand over his heart during the national anthem because the miniature ghost of Malcolm X lives in his ear and instructed him that doing so would alienate him from the armless American demographic
• He places euros in the offering plate
• He refuses to step foot in church because as soon as he crosses the threshold baby Malcolm X bites down on his tympanic membrane
• He speaks in the speaker and listens through the receiver
• He's the lovechild of Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson
• He hired a witch doctor to exorcise the Caucasian that burns within his flesh
• He tried to eat my baby at a press event
• His first wife, a Chechnyan dwarf named Bogdana, was arrested for distributing LSD from the trunk of her Yugo
• If you rearrange the letters his 2nd book is actually titled "You Acid Path Foe!"
• He doesn't subscribe to the fact that Jesus was white
• He said that the picture of the crying bald eagle superimposed with the twin towers in the background wasn't real and that the bald eagle didn't actually cry
• He carries box cutters on commercial flights
• His iris glows red with the flames of hell

Thank you.