I had this video I bought at a video store for a buck called "Secret Video Game" When I tried to play it, the tape was broken. So it sat on my shelf for months, for I was convinced it would just be some demo video for some shitty new system I know nothing about or care about. But then tonight I got bored and got curious, and decided to repair the tape so I could watch it.
Turned out it was a video from 1989, and was all about NES games
and it was hosted by three cannadian fags who seemed to be on painkillers. They narrated the video, stumbling on words (what? couldn't afford a second audio take?) and they shot the show in a what appeared to be a photo studio for elementary school pictures. They wore jackets that said "US Game Player Team" or something like that. The tips were incredibly random, and some of them weren't even tips; it was just watching kids play 2 or 3 levels of Double Dragon or something. Sometimes they put stupid little space shuttle/alien graphics that would pop in front of the screen as a transition from secret tip to secret tip, but there is one part where a BLOODY HUMAN HEAD rolls through, laughs, and then rolls its way out, for no reason!
I got nostalgic so I watched my old Super Mario 2 hint tape I got way back around 1989 from "First Run Video." fuck that place ruled. Our town used to be pretty fucking small back then and we didn't even have a Blockbuster. All we had were mom and pop video stores, and they all kicked ass. The tape was put out by Game Players magazine. There really isn't anything funny about it but it's still great
I am now watching My Super Mario Brothers Super Show tape: "Koopa Claus". It has 3 Cartoons, and one hosting segment. Up next is my Zelda VHS, which has a hosting segment with Ernie Hudson as himself (and apparently he's a Ghostbuster in REAL LIFE
) it has another one with Frankenstien
I may watch the Wizard depending on if I'm sleepy
Nintendo videos are the best videos
Linear Mode
