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Jonathan Clement · #1

Quote:

Judge Roberts has asked us, as the Largest TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) church in the world, to help the Department of Faith track down FALSE CHRISTIANS, abortionists, HOMERSEXUALS, towelheads, foreigners, pygmies and other SATANISTS who attempt to lure innocent people into the bowels of HELL. Thus Hotmail, Yahoo and similar 'throw away' email addresses are no longer allowable for registration at Landover. Please register with a 'real' email address. True Christians(tm) who are currently registered through Hotmail or Yahoo are asked to update the email address in your profile.

The guy is NUTS, I tell you! GAWD, he's THAT insecure, folks! If it WAS "just a joke" as you say, then he would SAY it's just a joke! This shows you the disturbed person he really is. You can only hear the infinite lonliness in his words.

Chojin · #2

god that is truely sick and disturbing and what the hell he can't even spell homosexuals right what an idiot john what do you think we should do about this the moderators are on your side

Jonathan Clement · #3

Nothing. That's what you do. I tried making a petition, but the bastard went and spammed it under MY name. I now get defamed constantly by him, though, it's dies down now. So just ignore him. Stay away from his attrocious website. Let him rot in his own madness. The lonelier he gets, the more likely he'll see what he's doing wrong. Because attention is the one thing he craves.

Emu · #4

Dude, it isn't satire if you TELL people that it's satire. Although he is dropping hints when he puts the TM after True Christian and says that he's going to hunt down pygmies. If you can't see it you're either one hell of an idiot, kidding, or a character, and I'm betting on the last one.

El Blanco · #5

Seriously, you are a fucking dolt. If you haven't figured out that LB is a parody by now, then maybe its time to get yourself out of the genepool.

And lots of websites won't let you register with the free accounts like hotmail and yahoo because those are used by spambots.

Jonathan Clement · #6

I KNOW it's a satire! But even bertisevil.tv on the front page says that "This is a Parody of the Sesame street character, Bert, and has nothing to do with the original character" Or whatever. And he's SIGNING ANTI-CHRISTIAN PETITIONS UNDER MY NAME! But I stand by my previous statement: The guy is nuts.

Chojin · #7

guys what the hell he's just trying to do something good in this crazy mixed up evil world of ours give the guy a break the world would be a better place if we had more johnathan clements

KevinTheOmnivore · #8

I see what you're saying, Chojin. He's a regular joe, just looking out for the little guy.

I see the similarities.

Chojin · #9

so can i maybe he's reincarnated haha just kidding around stupid liberal beliefs the rapture can't come soon enough am i right

Sacks · #10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonathan Clement

I KNOW it's a satire! But even bertisevil.tv on the front page says that "This is a Parody of the Sesame street character, Bert, and has nothing to do with the original character" Or whatever. And he's SIGNING ANTI-CHRISTIAN PETITIONS UNDER MY NAME! But I stand by my previous statement: The guy is nuts.

They put that up there because they got a cease and desist. Who is going to tell this Baptist fellow to cease and desist? God himself? The Easter Bunny? Sure mac, sure.

El Blanco · #11

Yes, Bert happens to be a copyrighted intellectual property. God isn't.

Although.....I could try it.

Jonathan Clement · #12

Quote:

the rapture can't come soon enough am i right

Nope.

Chojin · #13

wait what are you saying you dont want to meet the lord our savior while watching bastard like landover baptists burn in hell??????????????????????????????????

Jonathan Clement · #14

Well, being a mormon (Ya, I guess I'm mormon), I don't believe that he'll BURN in hell. Infact, he'll probably be tought better in purgatory (a.k.a, spirit prison) where he'll be given the chance to either accept, or reject Christ. But if he doesn't, he'll be tormented with a perfect and permanent memory of all he did. But no, I want our lord to come back soon so I can escape this crap.

Marc Summers · #15

The mormons at my high school thought that September 11th happened because of separation of church and state

And I quote: "You take God out of the government, and OH MY GOSH LOOK WHAT HAPPENS A TERRORIST ATTACK"

Sethomas · #16

Purgatory is a catholic (lower-case, except I think the Anglicans don't accept it) belief. Mormons have the "Telestial Kingdom", which is equivalent to purgatory but you can go there no matter how many people you murder or rape, whereas in Catholicism such people are sent to Hell eternally.

I find it hard to believe a Mormon is so out of touch with reality.

Jonathan Clement · #17

Actually, the telestial kingdom IS hell. It is where all the wicked will end up. Purgatory is just spirit prison.

Sethomas · #18

Hell is, by definition, eternal. From the Telestial Kingdom, the mormons say, souls can ascend to one of the other two Kingdoms. So, no.

Jonathan Clement · #19

Actually, I think the telestial kingdom is eternal. I don't know, I'd have to ask spaceman99.

Emu · #20

is that your priest's aim screenname

Jonathan Clement · #21

No, as far as I know, he doesn't have AIM. He goes to the Life forum at www.gametalk.com And I wouldn't really say he's MY priest, but he is A preist.