Starting band

[Forsaken]

Im starting a metal band,not interested in recruiting people, just seeing what suggestions people got. and im not a retard so dont bother saying shit like a "a good guitarist" or something along those lines.

[Ninjavenom]

-All names must contain something of or to do with a bodily orifice.
-Swear words are to be used to link all nouns and adjectives.
-Your first song MUST be a Maiden cover. NO EXCEPTIONS.
-No one cares about drums, just steal beats from Metallica songs. No one will know.
-Cover top 40 hits, it's always hilarious.
-Album art must be deep and meaningful, with thought out photos of your band posing in their most metal manners.
-Long hair is out. Short hair is in.
-You cannot listen to anything made after 1989, no exceptions.

[Helm]

Convulted logos are also out. Use a bright vector font instead. Stick some Japanese influence in there, some canji, something.

Bleach your hair.

Use a reverse font for the liner notes. Always cool.

Band picture, but also individual pictures inside the booklet. If you're feeling really confident, pull an Edguy and have TWO band pictures, one serious, and one goofy, with the individual pictures after every lyric page. But remember, the tough one first. Wouldn't want to give the wrong impression.

Wear coloured shades.

Devil sign. You're nothing if you don't do it in the pictures.

Baggy pants, but not too baggy. Go for 'confidently aloof'

The music doesn't matter. Concentrate on what's important. Namely, looking cool and convincing.

Your name must make no sense, but inspire cryptic awe. Look at Sanctus. Black metal boyband. Great name.

The strong silent heavy metal dude is out. Be vocal about your feelings, do interviews. Many of them. Be girly. Cry on stage.

Hire a rapper. Prefferably white. Even if he doesn't sing at all, make him flail his arms in a white guy rapping fashion.

A DJ is a good touch, but not obligatoy. Even if you not have electronics at all in your album, list a person as having done some in the guest credits.

With a little luck, you'll tour with Crazy Town.