Counting Crows again

[Skulhedface]

Originally Posted by Jeanette X

You'd be suprised how many therapists had a lot of personal problems. Its usually what motivates them to become therapists in the first place.

Well, I'd rather work out my own personal problems first. But there is a sense of satisfaction if someone got something meaningful out of one of my pep talks

[Professor Cool]

Lobster,

this problem has happned to me before, you see a girl, she's really nice, she has some problems, you feel you can't live without her. This happened to me in my high school years, and as already state, high school sucks when it comes to relationships. You seem to have alot of compassion for this girl, and it may be making you mistake this for love. I could be wrong but that is what happened to me. All this girl i knew needed was a sholder to cry on, and not someone to love. And i made a stupid mistake. And then i got depressed and became a wreak over something that could of been easily avoided. To you, still be her friend and support her, but unless your positive she really has feeling for you, stand back. It's probably hard for you to just go and forget her as being the one you think is your true love, it might be hard to still be her friend after having these feelings, but you got to move on, find someone and go on a date, just for kicks, not for anything meaningful. And don't go looking for love until after high school liked everyone else said, because i knew people who married their "High School Sweethearts" and they ended up in dissapointment,betrayal, and even divorce. That's all i have to say. I apologize if I repeated what someone else said in any way, I tried to be original. :/

Good Luck, Lobster

[LobsterMagnet]

Sigh...

I don't even know what's what anymore. I kinda realize that it's still highschool, but I still have this naive selfish hope that something's gonna happen. Anything. I kinda need something of substance in this whole circus of regrets... some kind of affrimation from her that lets me know she knows what's up.

I saw that a lot of people used the word "lust" in their posts. I just wanted to clairify that it's far from that. I don't even know what it is anymore, but the sex part of it isn't the highest of my priorities list. Shit... I've got no problem waiting.

I think that what Jin said is the closest to the truth... I think I've become overwhelmed with the thought of the fantasy of us being together more than I have of the reality of what it'd be.

When we first met in junior high, it was because one of her friends called me up and told me she wanted to go out with me. I'd never met her before that, but I went over to her house, and we hung out, and "dated" for about 3-4 months. It was junior high though, so we were both too young for it to mean anything. Then, my freshman year, about a year or so later, she was in a couple of my classes, and I just couldn't help but love the girl. She's just got something that attracts me to her... I know it's her personality, but she's really sexy too. She's just the kind of girl you can either get drunk with, watch sunsets with, or take home to mom and dad. She just seems perfect... or the closest to it that I'll ever find.

It's not as if I envision myself sweeping her off of her feet, marrying her, and spending the rest of my life with her; I just want something. Anything.

As for what Proto said, yes, she does seem shallow. The problem is, I can see past it. I absoloutely know that she loves me, but she's too much like her sister... she gets caught up in the whole status thing, but, like I said, I can see past it. I can see that she's not the person that she wants to be, and that truely, she's lonely. That's one of the main reasons I'm drawn to her... I feel the same.

I can just envision her (and I know this happens... I've talked to her about it before) sitting home alone at night in her bed depressed as shit with nothing to do, because all of her "freinds" are too busy to call her, and for some reason, that just kills me. It's like she's empty inside, and I just want to be there for her, but she doesn't know that. Sigh...

I always envisioned her and I as something that'd always be on the back burner of my life, and I'd eventually tell her at graduation or something, but it's not anymore. I know I need to tell her. I just have to big of a fear of rejection. I know that, like Jamesman said, if I put all this shit on the table, it's gonna stay there, and I'm gonna lose what I've got.

The only thing I can think of doing is waiting for the summer weather, and then one night, I'll just go buy some beer and a bottle of Jack, and we'll go up to the park, just her and me, and get real drunk. That way, I know I'll end up telling her what I think, and it'll be over with.

Thanks for all the replies, guys (and girls). The advice really does help... that way I have other people to think this over for me.

Sigh...

[LobsterMagnet]

Another thought...

My best friend and I aren't on speaking terms any more as of late... his selfish streak came out again and he fucked me over a whole bunch of times after saying "I can change" a hundred times, so I won't talk to him any more. Same deal with her...

He and I became best friends around the same time as her and I, and when he ditched me in junior high (for the first time), he became real good friends with her.

He was her only "real" friend for a long time, and he just fucked her over a whole bunch of times too, like I mentioned before. We're all somewhat similar in personality, and we all seem to click. What I just thought of is maybe, using some form of ass backwards logic, my brain figured that if a=b, and b=c, then a=c, and it told me that if I lose b, then go to c. We both lost my buddy Josh as a best friend, and that means that we've both got no one to talk to, and we're kinda lost at this time in life, so I think I kinda want to use eachother to supplement for what's missing, and create the relationship that I've always known was potentially there right now while I've got somewhat of a chance.

I'm so confused...

[noob3]

Write her a note

"FUCK FUCK FUCK PENIS IN YOUR HOLE"

Word up.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"Right. Because you won't be a REAL man until 'second base has been fully explored.'"

No, we just don't think Chimp is having sex with his friend.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Jamesman

After you've been friends with a girl for a while, they see you as just a friend, and not as a potential relationship. And once they find out you have those sorts of feelings for them, they get all wierded out, like you're not their friend anymore.

Not at all, it's the way you go about it that makes that happen.

Originally Posted by Jin

I was actually stuck in the same sort of problem that you are in for a really long time, and it wasnt until I realised that it was really just a fixation on the idea or a just... reluctance(?) to giving up the fantasy of being together (just in love with the dream rather than the person), that I "gave up" and it was after this freedom from the idealism and the aching that i found someone i really clicked with and cared about deeply.

Yep, I was talking about the same thing with Helm the other day, except I just said that I used to be 'In love with being in love.' Two weeks after I became completely comfortable with being alone, I found out an old friendly acquaintance of mine that I've been getting to be better friends with recently liked me 'in another way' while I was completely oblivious. We've been together for almost three months since.

[Jeanette X]

Originally Posted by Noob3

Write her a note

"FUCK FUCK FUCK PENIS IN YOUR HOLE"

Word up.

Ah, what woman wouldn't be swept of her feet?

[James]

Originally Posted by Chojin

Not at all, it's the way you go about it that makes that happen.

Or... it could be that women are just stupid bitches 90% of the time.

And Blackflag, if that's how your relationships start out, more power to you. Maybe only the girls in Connecticut are just dumb sluts (Jeanette X, I'm looking at you. ).

[Jeanette X]

Originally Posted by Jamesman

Or... it could be that women are just stupid bitches 90% of the time.

And Blackflag, if that's how your relationships start out, more power to you. Maybe only the girls in Connecticut are just dumb sluts (Jeanette X, I'm looking at you. ).

What the fuck was that for?! What did I do to piss you off?!

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Jamesman

Or... it could be that women are just stupid bitches 90% of the time.

Yeah, it's far more likely that the problem lies with half the people on earth, rather than you.

Originally Posted by JeanetteX

What the fuck was that for?! What did I do to piss you off?!

Next time you get a PM subjected "HOT DATE??" ?


Don't delete it.

[James]

Hello Jeanette, I'm a joke. Take me?

And Chojin, not to continue trying to defend myself here, but I can admit my shortcomings. And my experiences, the ones I'm thinking about were not my fault. They weren't anyone's fault really; A girl can't help who she has feelings for.

Now let me be bitter and call all women bitches.

[Jeanette X]

Originally Posted by Jamesman

Hello Jeanette, I'm a joke. Take me?

Oh...okay then.

[sadie]

can you say defensive, boys and girls?

[AChimp]

Telling a girl how you feel while sober usually means much more and makes a bigger impression.

You may now manhandle me.

[Skulhedface]

There's always that chance that if the two of you got drunk, you wouldn't REMEMBER telling her, and you'd be back at square one.

Also, if I was in that situation, I don't see myself being able to be very celebratory in the event that she said "YES I LOVE YOU TOO!" if I was nursing a pounding hangover. That in itself would kinda be insulting, I'd think.

Look, I hate to say it, but there IS no easy way out. Not without consequences. Whether you believe love exists or not, or whether you've ever felt it or not, there's no denying that it IS one of the strongest human emotions there is, and the strongest emotions often cloud our judgement and fuck things up. That's why it's important to think this through. I know this sounds cheesy but it works... HINT AROUND IT. Slip a few cleverly worded questions into a conversation when appropriate, and take your answers from that. I never said it'd be easy, but unfortunately, all the best things in life require hard work. But if you love this girl as much as you say you do, wouldn't it be worth it?

And sorry to pull this off subject for a minute, but I've got a gripe of my own. As some of you may know, me and my girl broke up about two weeks ago, bla bla bla she's already been dating again bla bla bla... well, she's been calling me every day, for at least an hour, she suddenly actually seems more interested in me now than she did while we were dating (granted, we saw each other EVERY day for two years) and yesterday she had a more loving, dare I say seductive tone in her voice, i.e. she had a more breathy, Monroe-ish hint in her voice, which is VERY unusual for her. Do you think I'm reading too far into it, or is there something else going on?

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by Skulheadface

or is there something else going on?

She was having sex at the time.

[Skulhedface]

Not really, being that I was dating her for two years and sex was more or less a daily thing, I know what she sounded like during the act :P

Since more has happened SINCE then involving me, I'll discuss it later, but only when I have it sorted out myself first. All I know is, all signs point to her wanting to be back together with me, and I do mean ALL signs, except she's too worried about hurting her new man's feelings. Hmm....

Maybe HE should be worried. When he's at work and I'm not, she's always over here.