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LobsterMagnet · #1

So this is how it goes. Boy(me) falls in love with girl. 4 years later, boy tells girl. Girl falls in love with boy. Every thing works out all Dawson's Creek - ish and shit. Then boy and girl get drunk (tonight), and girl asks boy "When are we gonna have sex?" Boy stumbles on an answer, tells her whenever she's comfortable, and she tells boy to come over early tommorrow and to come prepared. She kisses him goodnight, and leaves him there with a big goofy smirk on his face scared and confused.

I don't know the first place to start. All I know is I'm not gonna be a virgin tommorrow night, neither will she, and I'm gonna go to bed with tired legs because I'm gonna be strutting.

Back to the point.... How do I approach this. Do I just go over there and say "Let's fuck" and take off my cloths or do I try to be all smooth about it and be a lady's man, show up with roses, pump up the Barry Manilow, and pull out the flavored body oil?

T.V.'s confused me.

wreckreation · #2

how drunk was she?

Anonymous · #3

Dress in all black and wear a ski mask. Then, show up early at her house. But not at the door. Use her room window. Proceed to rape the shit out of her. Afterwards, remove the mask with a flourish and you two can have a good nervous laugh about your prank.

Seriously, just be yourself.

Fag.

CaptainBubba · #4

KILL HER

Rev. Danno · #5

Orange Juice... Trust me. Condoms... Always be safe. Lube... You can never go wrong with lube...
As it has been said, be yourself, but before it happens... Talk about it, make sure you both are into it. A small amount of booze to help get rid of the jitters, & a Porno is always good... espescally if is the first time for the both of you... She may not know what she's doing, & you may not have a clear idea either....
Talk about it afterwards, find out how you both did,, ask for suggestions...
Also yeah, show up with flowers, or anything else you can to let her know that she is special to you. This is the first time either of you will have sex, it suold be a good memory for the both of you.
I wish my first time didn't suck, but that's something for another post.
But trust me about the Orange juice...

wreckreation · #6

it will suck. it WILL. no way around it. don't get your hopes up and don't let her get her hopes up.

Dole · #7

Yep- there is absolutely no way on earth you two, who are in love with each other, could possibly get any enjoyment out of having sex for the first time together. You may as well kill yourselves, preceeded by all your friends and family, to save them the shame of knowing you have had disapointing sex.

FS · #8

Great, one of you two managed to put pressure on the moment. No doubt you'll find yourself incapable of getting an erection or ejaculating the moment you take off your pants. Not that it matters, because she's probably gonna be dry as a bone down there all night long.

I don't know, but flowers seem like a laughable item to show up with. "Salutations, beatiful lady. Might it be appropriate that I probe your nethers like a raging stag?" I wouldn't bring anything unless you two like to drink together usually. And if she's usually not too concerned with you keeping up your rough tough masculine image, don't make a secret of your nervousness. It'll onl screw things up if you do. Since she's taken the first step, just go there and let her make the first move, you'll know when to tear off your shirt and growl.

LobsterMagnet · #9

Wreck: Not that drunk.

Yeah, we drink together a lot, I suppose. Strangely enough, since summer started, and she learned how much I love her, we've been doing nothing but partying together. It's always her and I, and like a million different people every day. That's why I'm not that nervous about it. I figure she'll just pull me into someones room at some party and I'll be drunk enough not to be nervous. Then, when I wake up the next day, it'll be over with, and the akwardness will be gone.

It's kinda like getting a big test out of the way. A big, fun, fun test.

Oh well... thanks people... wish me luck.

AChimp · #10

Remember to take pictures and give us a play-by-play afterwards. Do me proud.

Anonymous · #11

doooooooooork

not you, chimp

sadie · #12

Quote:

Why is my life so cliched?

your gene pool is but a puddle.

CaptainBubba · #13

KILL ALL THE CHILDREN

Royal Tenenbaum · #14

"It's always her and I, and like a million different people every day."

Why don't you take her out on a date, you idiot?

CaptainBubba · #15

DID YOU KILL HER YET? :DOMO

FartinMowler · #16

Do everything that Chojin said except when you go in the window don't say "Hey Sailor its rape time!"

Helm · #17

Wash your dick

kellychaos · #18

We all RIGHT behind you ... literally ... don't take too long. I have to work in the morning.

kahljorn · #19

You guys are fucking morons, what kind of virgins you msut all be, I'd hate to have sex with you. Someone asks for advice on how to go about getting laid and you say to be yourself? Bring over some booze, you'll be yourself more easier.

When I'm trying to get laid, or get head, i work in a progressional factor. First we get drunk, or stoned, or something. This I call the Suave Factor. The suave factor is not used on your body or your hair, this is the mind suave. It needs to be spikey, for more speaking spikes and quips. Upon this suaveness completed, the progression to step two should be simple. It's called the making out factor, it is important, because not long after you move to step three. This is called the putting your hand up her shirt factor and feeling her tits factor, this important because it leads to step three. Step three is sticking your hand down her pants, or up her skirt. This is important because it gets her hornier than the previous steps. If she has pants on, this helps with things that must be done after, like unbuttoning her pants. Pretty much after this you're set. Be creative, you can mix the steps up. Like make out, tit feel, make out, tit feel again. I usually do them at the same time. Don't I have skills.

That's my style, you might want to "Be yourself". When she asked you to fuck though I probably would've started making out with her(some people might've just whipped their dick out right then)

Or touching her in various locations. It's Okay to make out when there are millions of people around at a party. It can lead to her leading you to a room so you can fuck smores.

AChimp · #20

Quote:

This is called the putting your hand up her shirt factor and feeling her tits factor, this important because it leads to step three.

kahljorn · #21

Thanks for quoting that, I forgot the word 'is'.

Protoclown · #22

No more advice from you, peppy.

Rev. Danno · #23

kahljorn, You must be rubbing your own tits, & sucking your own dick.
No woman I know would fall for that shit, wait... that's right you like to get them drunk or stoned first... quite the lady's man... I call this the date rape factor...